Pressure Proof

Your description of law school sounds exactly like the reports from men who venture into dating.

Eric Berne described legalistic thinking as thinking at the level of about a ten y.o., so that all makes sense. Pep talks and urging self-confidence can be like egging someone on to take one more step deeper into the minefield.

Your example of leaving the field is commendable.

Thanks for your comment - it made me laugh out loud. I particularly love the part about pep-talks. I don't know if this is what you were getting at, but I'm reminded of one of my favorite quotes by Po Bronson: "Failure's hard, but success is far more dangerous. If you're successful at the wrong thing, the mix of praise and money and opportunity can lock you in forever."

Think of how many people get "pep-talked" into the wrong thing?

Thanks again.

Great article, Paula,

Tenacity and forging ahead have made my career a thrill on so many levels, but you are right. You need to listen to your body, as well. Too much of a good thing is just that. And your body knows if you listen to it. My stick-to-it-ive-ness has stuck it to me heath wise recently making me notch n my perseverance.

Success? What is that? I know the women I coach are much more critical of their performance than men. It is a joy to watch them hoist up their confidence mast and their resilience begins to sail along.

I have had to reset my mindset several times in life. Coaching positivity reminds me this is normal and even a positive challenge. Your article teaches you can stand in the middle of the teeter totter and go back and forth, no just stand still and stagnate our of fear. Kudos!

Thanks Paula for an interesting article. What's interesting is how Dweck's concept of the fixed and growth mindset can extend to another part of psychology. The use of labels that we are given, whether it's 'high-performer' or 'low-grader', or even if we are stereotyped according to our gender, creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. We will act according to our label, the research shows, rather than rise above it.

If your readers are interested in learning more about this and the Psychology of Success, our book, "Introducing: Psychology of Success" covers the research and shares some practical and easy guidance for using this psychological gold nugget for good.

How could a columnist with a major publication like this be so wrong. Spatial differences in the genders lead to differences in average temperaments and talents. When I was a boy I memorized every player in the NHLs stats. Not many girls have that interest in them. Psychology Today would prefer to think of the disparities in numbers as proof of discrimination and discouragement. Its what intersts you.

Women will not progress because they will not identify what talents they have that are special, instead focusing on what they think they don't have. More gender bean-counting.