I had an amazing session with a
coaching client last night. When we started working together over a year ago, she was extremely frustrated with her job and bored with her life, and today she's on the verge of a totally new adventure.
As a result of our work together she has sorted out her work situation, and to her amazement will be receiving a scholarship that will enable her to take time off to study overseas, a dream she has had for decades. I was so delighted by all the news she had for me that I frequently shouted out with laughter.
Her dreams are literally coming true, but she told me that she does have one major concern: her scholarship won't allow her to live in the style to which she's become accustomed, and she's worried that she won't be able to handle living in simpler circumstances.
I told her this: when you're doing something you've dreamed of doing your entire life, you will be amazed by how simply you can live - because you're happy, and because the entire adventure is a huge gift to yourself.
When we live joyless lives, grinds that drag us through our days and then start again the next morning, the frustration and boredom we feel can be expensive. When I'm not happy with my life circumstances, I need to live in as nice a home as possible (so that at least I have something lovely to come home to), I constantly treat myself to restaurant meals or takeout, I go on vacations whenever I can to escape the grind and give myself something to look forward to, on it goes.
When I first moved to Mexico in 2004, I left my stressful medical life and my expensive lifestyle (rented penthouse apartment, frequent dinners out, frequent vacations - despite my good income I had almost no savings and significant student debt) and shocked myself by discovering how blissfully I could live in a one-room apartment with no air conditioning.
I finally had enough time to follow my passions. I wrote, danced, and happily cooked my own meals. I was so content, commuting every few weeks to work up north as a doctor (I'd stay with my parents - !) that my discretionary spending dropped to almost nothing. I didn't need to spend to fill myself, I was filled by my life and by the fulfillment of my passions and dreams. Shockingly, during that time - despite a big drop in income - I paid off almost all my debts and built a nice little nest egg.
This is an extreme example, I know, and perhaps not directly relevant to your life. But I have absolutely observed that it's much easier to spend less and save more when you find both small and big ways to make your life feel more fulfilling, e.g.:
- by signing up for a course you've always wanted to do
- by taking free books out from the library and studying an area of passion that you've always wanted to learn about
- by giving yourself more time to play or finally pursue that passion of yours
- by telling yourself that if you downsize your life and finally pay down your debt, you will put part of the money aside for that trip to Italy that you've dreamed of your whole life
- by downsizing so you can start saving for a down payment on a modest home in your dream town/location, because you've decided you deserve it and it's time
You will be amazed by how happy you feel, even if you have to compromise your lifestyle significantly. In my experience, downsizing my life to achieve a cherished goal has never felt like sacrifice. There's an excitement and feeling of purpose to it that fuels my days and fills that hole inside of me that I would otherwise try to fill with costly habits such as those I've mentioned.
(And yes, I know, that hole can only truly be filled by spiritual means, but I believe that honoring the call of your heart and the path your life wants to take - guided and supported by prayer and God - is a deeply spiritual act)
In early 2009, I moved my life full-time back up north, in order to be here during the publication process of my book and its release this spring. That, too, was a dream, but living up here (a busy hectic environment which I find very stressful) has been predictably expensive. I rented a nice home to hide in, have had too many dinners out to count, and just got back from another vacation.
I've just given notice at this place, and am downsizing dramatically on September 1st (you would be shocked if you knew how much), because it's time to put the next dream life in motion. Again, it'll require sacrifice, but I'm already so excited at the thought of what's to come.
Be true to yourself, set goals that will make you excited to make sacrifices, and watch your debts drop and the savings pile up.
my websites: www.susanbiali.com www.LiveALifeYouLoveBook.com
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my book: Live a Life You Love - 7 Steps to a Happier, Healthier, More Passionate You
