Positivity

Like my literary namesake, I am a great theorist of the world. And my gloomy conclusions are killing me. I have a certain stubborn sort of integrity about my opinions that makes me sneer at such go-along, get-along prescriptions as are urged in that wretched little book "Who Moved My Cheese?" But while I am not open, for mere convenience sake, to repudiating such beliefs and values as I hold , I have been seized for a few days with what a good idea it might be to try to laugh them off. Or at least to have more laughs...a lot more.

It was in this frame of mind that I encountered a few brief minutes at the end of Professor Fredrickson's television conversation with Bill Friday. Really, I didn't catch much of it...just enough to intrigue me and give me to understand that here was somebody who has been working in a scientific way on the benefits of exactly the kind of prescription that I am just now trying to formulate for myself, which is: Make a deliberate effort to introduce more joy and, especially, more ~playfulness~ into your life. As dark as my life has become, it remains obvious to me that I have a very strong, playful, childlike component to my personality. Not only do I enjoy that inner kid when he is not so repressed by my grandiose assumption of the world's burdens, I really believe that he has the capacity to light up my whole life if I give him space to play. I believe, from the bit that I heard, that this idea is very consistent with Professor Fredrickson's work and intend to read her book immediately.

There are lots of ways to try to turn up the sunshine in your life, but the ones I have been thinking about seem to be centered on wordplay. In a burst of inspiration, I Googled Ogden Nash the other day and the first poem I landed on was "À Bas Ben Adhem," which was the perfect poem for me. The celebration of misanthropy has never been so much fun! (My fellow man I do not care for / I often ask me, What's he there for?...) The quality of my laughter at something like that really helps me connect with that joyful child inside. Children find verbal surprises to be highly amusing, and so do I. This kind of fun poetry is filled with surprises that bring to adults the joy that Dr. Seuss brings to kids.

I have also been renewing my languishing pleasure in musical comedy, something that I don't know particularly well but always hugely enjoyed in bits a pieces. Cole Porter's "Anything Goes" never fails to give me a surge of pleasure and amusement. There is going to be a lot more music in this house and, especially, a lot more ~playful~ music.

This is not a very broad program that I have sketched out, and I don't rule out getting a puppy, riding my bike more, etc. In fact, both of those things are high probabilities. But I am really caught up on this verbal playfulness thing, because it doesn't just amuse me, it deeply amuses the child inside. And one can choose to switch on a Broadway cast recording to start the day just as easily as one can choose a roundup of the world’s overnight horrors.

Professor Fredrickson has a very pleasant and engaging way of talking about her subject, and I was inspired by hearing her.

I read Positivity shortly after it came out and also listened to the audio book version. One of the things I love most about Barb Fredrickson and her work is her way of combining the scientific with the heartfelt stories of her own experiences.
I discovered Barb's research about a year ago and over the past 6 months, I have been incorporating strategies using positive emotions in my kindergarten classroom to increase resilience, facilitate learning and "broaden and build" my students' experiences. Starting the day with a smile and a monkey puppet helping to sing our good morning song, inspiring fascination by allowing kids to ponder ideas that interest them and draw and write about them in a "fascination journal", using positive encouragement when kids demonstrate effort, and expressing gratitude aloud have made a huge difference in the classroom climate. Using a playful and humorous stories to reinforce tricky concepts has also helped to reduce stress in learning and increase student understanding!
Thank you for the wonderful inspiration that your research has afforded your readers. I am a huge fan and look forward to reading more of your blog entries.

Been dating the same person for many years (no complaints here!), but doing the questions showed me that my happiest days were the ones where we got together -- and that they were much happier than other days.

What a positive eye-opener! If someone had asked, I would not have thought I was into "taking for granted," but I was. With this knowledge, a positive relationship has become even more appreciated and valued.

Interesting to me that doing a "Gratitude Journal" likely would not have lead me to this observation. The scoring and ranking features of the test are what helped me identify the source and degree of my enjoyment.

Very nice outcome. I'm looking forward to keeping up with the process.

Really, thank you!

After three months of practicing ways to increase my positivity past the 3:1 ratio, my wife says I'm more energetic and complimentary. I don't feel different. Taking the test (labeling emotions) each day has made me more aware of both positive and negative emotions. This has to be good. The book 'Positivity', suggests raising one's positivity ratio by practicing daily 1) lovingkindness meditation and 2) being open to goodness. I'll stay on the track and enjoy the journey.

I am studying a university module in applied postive psychology at the moment. As part of my studies I have been carrying out some postive psychology exercises. For the past few weeks I have been doing the 3 good things exercise and have been using the positivity ratio alongside this exercise to record my positivity levels. I really enjoyed doing the 3 good things exercise, but I am very disappointed in my positivity ratio, which is generaly low.

Looking at the wording on the questionnaire I wondered whether there could be a cultural problem. I realised that in order to get a healthy 3:1 score, I would need to enter "extremely" against a number of positive emotions. However I am British and we generally don't acknowledge or feel extreme emotions unless something very extreme or untoward happens to us. As part of one of my assignments I asked a number of colleagues, patients and friends to carry out the same exercises. They are all coming back to me with similar comments.

What are we doing wrong? We are all quite happy positive resiliant people. Is it the British climate? Or does this questionnaire need to be reworded for British people, (possibly for Europeans too)?

I am also doubtful about whether it is healthy/realistic not to have some of the "negative" emotions on a regular basis. For example I have just discovered that a close family member has been very dishonest with me for the past few years. Surely under these circumstances it is acceptable for me to admit to feeling fear, suspicion and anger under these circumstances. Surely it would be unatural and unrealistic not to feel these emotions?

I'm looking forward to your replies.

Joanna

I recently purchased and read this book. I loved it! I love how it advocates "heartfelt positivity." By this she means that the positivity has to be sincere, because faking it can backfire.

However, I notice a slight contradiction when she writes: "connect with others, every day and no matter what. And even if you're not naturally a very outgoing person, act like you are" (pg 191). Is she not advocating "faking positivity" in this instance?

I highly doubt Fredrickson would respond to this post, since she's kinda famous. So does anyone else have any thoughts on this?

Or if anyone has any information on this whole "acting extraverted" business.

Dr. Tim Pychyl also mentions it briefly in one of his blogs:
http://blogs.psychologytoday.com/blog/dont-delay/200804/giving-in-feel-g...

"In fact, your feelings will follow your behaviors. Progress on that task will improve your mood.

For example, new research where introverts are instructed to act extraverted shows that the introverts who act extraverted also feel happier (an affective advantage of extraverts). We'll talk about this more in the near future."

I had an art professor once tell me: you can't have more mornings than evenings, we were speaking of depression. I think he was correct.

I don't doubt that a 3-1 ratio is better than 1-1 in terms of feeling. But I'd like to see an explanation of why that is a reasonable and realistic goal to begin with.

Have not read the book.

Again, what evidence is there that 3-1 is within a normal range, or a possible range. How do manage full-time work and a messy divorce and two kids while hitting a 3-1 ratio? That sounds a little impossible to me. Unless I quit my job and follow my bliss or something silly like that.

I've been at the loving kindness meditation for less than 2 weeks now, and my scores are as volatile as a stock market chart. Never the less, there is a slight rise in my ratios, and some awesome insights, hence "Event selectivity". I've realised that upon remembering yesterday’s events and even at the end of today's, what I remember depends mostly on my positive/negative balance, at that time. IF I feel good, I remember almost no bad moments, and the reverse is true, if I’m in a bad mood, I never remember the good stuff. And this can shift through the day too. So that having completed the on-line survey, and then a little later felt great for some unexplored reason, I’ll remember events that would have changed my score. It seems that the events I forget, depend on my positive/negative ratio. I wonder if depressed people have lots of positive events through the day, but don’t remember them?

Warm regards,
Paul

The more we think, feel or do something the stronger those nerve pathways get and the easier the task at hand becomes. To change to a more positive state of mind is difficult. It takes awareness and diligence, which, in a society of instant gratification and overstimulation, isn’t easy to come by. Showing gratitude and looking on the bright side of things several time each day is a small change with exponential effects on the future. For more simple health tips check out this great blog: http://blog.mydiscoverhealth.com/

realy cool stuff, for interesting videos on the topic go to http://shrt.fm/gtLI3D

I am just finishing up your book as part of the advanced Wellcoaches training I'm taking. Thank you--yours is one of those life changing books, along with Flourish, by Marty Seligman, and a few others, that has really helped me continue to refocus my outlook.

Can one event really help you stay on track? I ask that because ever since my husband experienced a health scare in 2009 I have looked at things in a much more positive way. He's recovered now, but i can't help but think that this jolted me into a new sense of living in the NOW in a way nothing else really could. There was a blessing among those clouds. Writing about it and speaking about it has helped as well.

Keep up the great work!