Pop Psych

Unpacking evolutionary psychology

What Does Online Dating Tell Us about Racial Views?

I have a dream, that one day my children will be judged not by the color of their skin, but by the content of their dating profile.* Are we living the dream yet? *The timing of this post to MLK day is purely coincidental Read More

Online dating is very

Online dating is very convenient for many people.

Devaluing

You say: "Most men, if you polled them, would overwhelming respond to women on dating websites, and not other men; women would likely do the reserve. This does not mean, however, that men (or women) “devalue” other men (or women)"

Well, you are wrong. If a person don't want to date another person, he/she is devaluing the person.

Person's sexual market value is result of other peoples prefences.

Sure

I get the point you're trying to make, but I was thinking in a broader context. If men, say, don't value other men as mates but do value them highly as friends, their valuation of the sex cannot be said to be consistent. While it's true enough that not valuing someone on the mating market lowers their value within that realm, it might not necessarily have any bearing on their value in another.

The point I was aiming at with this, then, is that even if one race is devalued on the mating market for whatever reason, it does not necessarily have any implications as for how they'll be valued in other aspects of society. Since Jenny's point seemed to be about society more broadly, unless I misunderstood it, I would say her argument needs more to back it up.

Valuing

jmarczyk wrote:
The point I was aiming at with this, then, is that even if one race is devalued on the mating market for whatever reason, it does not necessarily have any implications as for how they'll be valued in other aspects of society.

I agree with you on that.

There is mating market and work market. Party blonds or criminal bikers may be hot on the mating market, but not on the work market.

And there are many other different categories of valuing.

(You gave the interesting question in the start of your article: "“Why is discrimination based on reproductive / sexual preferences OK, but other forms of discrimination are not?”, but it was not properly answered...)

Sailer's Law of Female Journalism

"The most heartfelt articles by female journalists tend to be demands that social values be overturned in order that, come the Revolution, the journalist herself will be considered hotter looking."

This is quite a bit different from the kinds of revolutions male journalists tend to envision.

"Jenny" is never going to say

"Jenny" is never going to say that white males can be fetished.Why? because her narrative and worldview is probably that of the liberal feminist types-in thinking white males are privileged,have all the power and therefore are immune to be so.The white male is always the fetisher...the exploiter...basically in alot of their eyes-the devil.

Anyway,the overwhelming majority of white males do NOT prefer asian women over white women...that is just complete and total bs.And there is plenty of evidence to that fact.

I remember there was a

I remember there was a website called something like 'Single in Seattle' set up by a single bloke looking to find a woman. He had a very, very particular laundry list of features he wanted/did not want. But the one that got him ridiculed netwide was the one where he didn't want to date black women. All his other preferences, i.e. that she not have kids, not be fat, not have red hair, not have more than 0 previous sexual partners etc...silence.

I don't see any problem with excluding one race over another when you're looking to date because you're not physically attracted to them. It's just another physical feature, like baldness, height, eye colour etc that cannot be changed (cf weight or bad teeth). It's when people want to date certain races based on stereotypes (like black men being well endowed, Asian women being subservient) that the problem arises.

I also think that race can

I also think that race can sometimes be a proxy for culture. Say, a woman doesn't want to date Middle-Eastern men because of cultural differences. However, she'd gladly date a man of her culture of choice even if he is of Middle-Eastern ethnicity.

Dating preferences

First, I think "devalue" is the wrong word. All you can conclude from the statistics are interest in dating and, probably, attraction to, for whatever reason(s).

If the findings were disaggregated, I wonder what the response would be to an overweight or older Asian female. Or to a younger version of Naomi Campbell. I have flimsy anecdotal evidence that some white men choose Asian women even if they are not traditionally attractive. How does income/occupation affect choice, independent of race? Would a low-income and/or traditionally unattractive white man still receive a lot of attention? And so on.

I think the elephant in the room is being ignored, because this is such a sensitive topic. As the author admits, race does most likely play a role even if it is associated with personality, weight, occupation. You cannot chide people for racial preferences in dating any more than you can decry the unpopularity of obese people with buck teeth. We don't have arranged marriage. The findings are interesting but also disturbing. Maybe it would be better not to publish findings on dating preference by race only.

Silliness

I believe this article is silly and does not contain enough statistical evidence to formulate a concise argument. I truly believe there is one race, the human race. We all come from different ethnic backgrounds, but we are not different species. Humans created the different race categories and racism.

We are wired to be attracted to people who look like us or are similar to us. We are also programmed by media to value certain groups over others. If racism, and negative sterotyping did not exist, and we were all considered equal...there still may be preferences, but not as much as there are now. I know because I have a beautiful friend who's a model. When men think she is Brazilian, they go crazy after her. When they find out she is African American, some respond differently or want nothing to do with her. Even if they were interested before. Which means their attraction was biased by some internal prejudice against a man made label. The labels we place on people matter. Racism and negative sterotypes matter. Our society is bigoted in many ways. It's sad because diversity is what makes us beautiful.

one commenter wrote, "I don't

one commenter wrote, "I don't see any problem with excluding one race over another when you're looking to date because you're not physically attracted to them..... It's when people want to date certain races based on stereotypes (like black men being well endowed, Asian women being subservient) that the problem arises."

I see that point, but I think its when people DON'T want to date a certain race BASED ON STEREOTYPES that the problem arises more. I accept that being attracted to a person is a key factor in dating. Fine. I get it. Someone else mentioned not agreeing with their culture. I can accept that too. I guess I rather remove potentials on characteristics that anyone can have versus something they cannot genetically change. A person can lose weight(fat), increase their knowledge (dumb), get braces (crooked teeth). You can even convert your religion (unless you are very devout). But you cannot go anywhere and remove/change your race.
So someone saying "I don't date ___________ (fill in the blank with race) women/men", just seems like a cop out.
If you say "I'm not attracted to ____________ (fill in the blank with race) women/men" I can accept that more.
Having it said to your face would be a bummer but honesty is appreciated and respected.

Silly, silly people.

A bit late to the commenting section, given the months ago that this was published, but I feel it important to add that this new information pretty much mirrors a much earlier one done back when yahoo was the premier online dating site.

That one however, had a much more interesting factoid in it: when people say they don't express a preference for race, they're usually lying.

All demonizing people who don't want to date X or Y races does is cause them to lie about it. No one changes their personal preferences because someone else disagrees with them, they just won't be as open about it. Which makes the constant crying everyone does over "racism" (as if it wasn't natural and healthy) that much more confusing to me.

Blacks and mexicans still won't be any more desired by whites, but hey, at least they won't be getting honest answers as to why. They simply won't be getting any answers at all.

Fine article

Funny comments
http://emq1j31u.com

Fine article

Funny comments
http://emq1j31u.com

Post new comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd>
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • You may quote other posts using [quote] tags.

More information about formatting options

Jesse Marczyk, M.A., is a Ph.D. student at New Mexico State University; he studies evolutionary psychology and writes the blog Pop Psychology: The Internet's evolutionary psycholo-guy.

more...

Subscribe to Pop Psych

Current Issue

Just Say It

When and how should we open up to loved ones?