Blogs

Persuade Me

How to argue your point.

by Steve Booth-Butterfield, Ed.D.

Steve Booth-Butterfield, Ed.D., is the author of the The Complete Idiot's Guide to Persuasion. See full bio

July 6, 2009, Behavioral Economics

Surviving the Narcissist Mother - Lessons from Fiction

Understand the narcissistic mother in Dorothy Parker's "Lolita."

This post is a response to Getting Over a Narcissistic Mother by Carlin Flora

Both science and art inform psychology and I always delight in finding an example from movies, novels, music, or plays that illustrates a principle. While reading the interesting blog entry on "Getting Over a Narcissistic Mother" by Carlin Flora, I was reminded of a great short story written by Dorothy Parker, "Lolita."

First and "no," Parker's "Lolita" is not THAT "Lolita," the great novel Vladimir Nabokov wrote. While both have a young girl as a key character, Parker's Lolita is described as a plain and simple girl who lacks all the temptations of Nabokov's Lolita.

Second, the relationship between Parker's Lolita and her mother, Mrs. Ewing is a stunning example of a child burdened with a narcissistic mother. Dorothy Parker provides a compelling description of Mrs. Ewing and her self-perceived "selfless" attempts to help her ugly duckling daughter. It is a portait without pity or comment, the hallmark of a great writer.

Third, if you've never heard of Dorothy Parker and you like to read, you are in for a treat. Mrs. Parker was an authentic 20th century New York literary talent who ran with the wolves at the Algonquin Round Table, Broadway, the New Yorker, and Hollywood. She is little known and poorly remembered today, but still well worth reading. Her achievements stand as a kind of Great Gatsby cautionary tale wherein someone from the past who believes in the "green light" and attains so much, is now almost forgotten and often disdained by the newest generation of Green Light believers.

Dorothy Parker book cover The best single book for Dorothy Parker's writing is the Portable Dorothy Parker. You'll see a great illustration of psychology in action with "Lolita," plus you get to read a new talent!