Most children have been exposed to pictures or some information about what's happening in Japan. It is very frightening - adults are scared. How can you judge the impact on your children? How do you help them? Some children will seem unaffected; some will show clear signs of fear, sadness, stress or even anger. They may have heard discussions of earthquakes or nuclear plants here in the US. All children look to adults as models and to be "in charge;" it's very frightening to think the adults in their lives are overwhelmed. Talk to adults about adult-level concerns away from younger children.
What to watch for:
• Pre-school children: Very young children might display bed wetting, baby talk, problems going to sleep or irritability. Increased clinginess may be seen or reappear in children who've outgrown these behaviors.
• School aged children: School aged children may show a need to stay close to parents, a preoccupation with the events, nightmares, anxiety, irritability or other fears. Children may complain of stomachaches or headaches before school because of anxiety about separation.
• Adolescents: Teenagers lack perspective, so they may over or under react. The lack of a visible reaction doesn't mean they aren't trying to process it. They may show feelings of anxiety and helplessness. Other phobias or fears that had been resolved may re-emerge. They may have issues with separation they'd outgrown, or conversely, they may display denial and even risk taking behaviors.
What to do:
• Have your response be age appropriate.
• The obvious: don't have graphic TV images of the devastation on around children.
• Find out what they know and don't know. There can be disinformation that's been passed around.
• Explain basic information in an age appropriate way: "Sometimes there can be an earthquake where the ground shakes a lot, and there can be a big wave that comes in from the ocean afterwards" would be an explanation for younger children.
• Older children are likely to understand the events. Remind them how rare this kind of event is, and that there are many earthquakes that don't have this kind of result.
• Emphasize that adults are in charge of helping and taking care of people, and they have a lot of help.
• What worries children may not be what worries adults. Find out about your child's fears and concerns.
• For younger children, art is often useful as a way for children to share the images in their minds. Ask if they'd like to draw a picture, and then ask what they'd like to add with an emphasis on being ready and feeling safe. For example, a child might like to add a fire engine to a picture of a fire.
• Talk about preparedness and the plan your family has if you ever need one. A young child is looking to you. Relate your plan to experiences they have had; for example, you have cell phones and supplies in case we lose power. Older children might not know about the emergency broadcast system so everyone is informed in an emergency. How much detail you share depends on the age of the child. Teens might want to know there's a place where the family will meet in an emergency, in case they are away from home.
• Allow for what seems like regressive behavior; they'll do better as they are less anxious.
• Don't stop a conversation because someone is upset; this gives the message that upset feelings aren't OK. Understand that feelings are natural; a hug helps all of us.
• Everyone reacts differently to catastrophic events, and this is natural. A lack of reaction doesn't mean someone is "uncaring," "bad" or "selfish."
• Do something to help. Make a donation to show how people help, or if there's a request for clothes or toys, your child might want to join in; don't force this, but ask.
• Remember children can be self-absorbed. A child may be more concerned with his or her own life than with events far away.
Related resources: http://www.google.com/crisisresponse/japanquake2011.html
