Passive Aggressive Diaries

Understanding passive aggressive behavior in families, schools, and workplaces.

by Signe Whitson

45 Ways to Really Enjoy a Summer

My summer resolution is to stress less and savor more. Rather than allowing myself to be ruled by a never-ending, always-growing To-Do list of professional and household tasks, I am making time and space for pure, unfettered fun. Read More

Building Assertive Anger Expression Skills for Kids

Do your children bicker? Mine sure do. In fact, asking if they bicker is like asking if they breathe; it comes so naturally to them that some days it seems like a life-sustaining function. Read More

What Parents Can Do About CyberBullying

No matter how tech-savvy my daughter becomes, I am constantly aware that she is young and that it is up to me to monitor her safety and well-being with technology in the same consistent, diligent way that I ensure her well-being on a playground. Read More

Yes, We Are Talking About It More!

“Is bullying really worse today than it was when we were kids, or are we just talking about it more?” My answer to that question is an emphatic, “Yes.” Read More

What Parents Can Do When Bullying is Downplayed at School

Public Service Announcements and Posters that tell victims to "Speak Up" in the face of bullying mean nothing at all if, when kids and families find the courage to speak up, they are met with disbelief, denial, and downplaying by school staff. Adults cannot continue to fail children in this way. Read More

Girl Bully Meets Passive Aggressive Mom: Game On!

When I co-wrote The Angry Smile, I did not intend it to be a How-To book. In fact, I know lots of ways to be assertive, direct, and emotionally honest with others. But let's face it, sometimes a situation calls for a little passive aggressive behavior... Read More

What to Do When Your Daughter's Friend Is a Bully

When kids understand how a healthy friendship should look and feel, they are best equipped to extricate themselves from friendships that are toxic and damaging. Read More

3 Ways that Kids' Anger Bites Back

The goal of healthy socialization is to teach children to say "yes" to the existence of their anger and to say "no" to the expression of those angry feelings in hurtful and destructive ways. Read More

Backhanded Compliments and Sugarcoated Hostility

Is there someone in your life who consistently makes you feel like you are on an emotional roller coaster? Do you know a person who is friendly one day but sulks and withdraws the next? Chances are you may be interacting with a passive aggressive person. Read More

What Parents Can Do About Bullying

The bottom line is this: young girls need skills for handling friendship dilemmas and they need a parent's help to do it. Read More

What To Do When Your Daughter Is the Mean Girl

I knew this day would come. I was, of course, hoping it never would-hoping that my daughter would never be mean to someone else's daughter-but as they say, I wrote the book on girl bullying in elementary school, so I knew that there was a pretty good chance that despite all of my best efforts, one of these days, my girl was gonna act like the mean one. Read More

Why I Delight in the "Minus" on My Daughter's Report Card

I worry that a child's instinct for out-of-the-box thinking and personal self-expression is often squashed in schools—especially for girls who are taught that being "good" means "going along." Read More

Passive Aggressive Signs

Some people go to hilarious lengths to avoid expressing anger directly. This passive aggressive sign might just take the cake! (Or just lick the icing off of it for revenge when no one is looking.) Read More

Fostering a "Growth Mindset:" 7 Ways to Nurture Your Gifted Child

How can parents and teachers counter the fixed mindset of a gifted child and replace it with a growth mindset? Read More

Scratching Beneath the Surface: Recognizing Common Defenses Used By Children in Stress

Children, teens, and adults alike often go to great lengths to mask inner pain with defensive words and behaviors. How can you see beyond the mask? Read More

Recognizing and Responding to Your Daughter’s Passive Aggressive Behaviors

What can any parent do to avoid the agony of victory and the defeat of healthy communication? The following guidelines offer parents strategies for maintaining their calm in a passive aggressive storm and responding in ways that lay the groundwork for less conflictual relationships with their daughters. Read More

Teaching Compassion to Kids

Fostering compassion in young people is among the best ways to prevent verbal, physical, and emotional aggression from taking root. Read More

Decoding Emotional Meaning from Troubling Behavior

This teacher, who was able to decode her student's behavior with accuracy and compassion, initiated the process of forging a positive relationship out of what had been a flailing student-teacher connection. Read More

Singing a New Kind of Praise: 7 Tips for Nurturing Gifted Children

When it comes to perfectionistic children, it is more effective to encourage efforts, than to focus on performance or ability. Read More

"Very Funny!" Why Sarcasm is No Laughing Matter for Kids

While humor is a glue that binds many families together, sarcasm can be the wit that wounds. Read More

7 Skills for Teaching Your Child to Stand-Up to Bullies

Our kids can change their own world by developing a set of skills that makes bullying unrewarding. Read More

Thinner, Sexier, Hotter: 3 Ways to Help Your Daughter Resist Media Pressures

Without having to resort to a full-on pop music ban or complete shunning of media, you can help your daughters—and other young girls—become aware of negative media messages. Read More

The Agony of Victory and the Defeat of Healthy Communication

When parents teach their kids to say "yes" to the presence of anger and "no" to the expression of anger through aggressive or passive aggressive behaviors, they build a foundation for lifelong emotional intelligence and strong relationships. Read More

5 Steps for Turning Stressful Situations into Learning Opportunities with Kids

As helping adults, we have the power to make a situation worse or better--a relationship damaged or improved. Read More

3 Foundations for Helping Kids Express Anger Effectively

Have you ever been in a situation where you were so overwhelmed with feelings of anger that you were at a loss for words? Read More

There Go the Mom of the Year Honors! My Award-Winning Lesson on Personal Responsibility

How I blew my shot at Mom-of-the-Year. Again. Read More

Essential Strategies for Bullyproofing Your Child This School Year

For those who are targeted by bullies, it can seem as if there is no escape from cruel teasing, taunting, and texting. In this world of constant contact, children need to know how to use communication to keep bullies at bay. Read More

Is There a Passive Aggressive Person in Your Life?

If you have a good example of passive aggressive behavior from a friend, family member, co-worker, parent, child, mother-in-law (those are the best!), boss, on Facebook, via e-mail, on a post-it note, or all of the above, I would love to hear it! Read More

Five Steps for Understanding What's Bugging Our Kids

Nothing comes from nothing. This truism, coined by Dr. Nicholas Long of the Life Space Crisis Intervention (LSCI) Institute, often inspires me to look beyond a child's surface behavior to understand his thoughts, feelings, and perceptions that trigger intense outbursts. Read More

Nothing Comes from Nothing: Looking Beyond a Child's Surface Behavior

Have you ever been in a situation with your child where "out-of-the-blue," they seem to want to fight? A heated conflict ensues, a dent is created in your relationship, and both of you feel bewildered about the whole situation. Read More

Signe Whitson is a licensed social worker and co-author of The Angry Smile: The Psychology of Passive Aggressive Behavior in Families, Schools, and Workplaces, 2nd ed.

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About Passive Aggressive Diaries

Passive Aggressive Diaries takes a light-hearted look at the humorous ways in which all of us encounter (and exude!) passive aggressive behavior in our daily lives. Please visit www.signewhitson.com There's nothing like a Diary to unload your own PA sins and to document the entertaining offenses of MIL's & BFF's. Please share your stories! (Just think how passive aggressive it would be to post a story about someone else's bad behavior!)