Halloween always stirs up a bit of nostalgia for me. I grew up in the 1950's and 60's in Park Slope, Brooklyn, and it was beautiful, particularly in October. My neighborhood was a
community. People greeted each other, talked to each other, told on each other. We children knew the shopkeepers along Seventh Avenue, they knew us and our
parents and friends, and everyone knew that my family's was one of the best houses to go to for Trick-or-Treating. My mother always ordered candy apples from Newman's soda shop, on the corner of Seventh Avenue and President Street, and each Halloween one flock of children after another lined up on our stoop in hopes of getting one of what had to be the world's most delicious candy apples.
This evening, on my way home from work, I drove into my suburban Atlanta neighborhood at a slower speed than usual. Toddlers dressed in costumes held hands with siblings and parents as they bobbed up and down walkways, ringing doorbells and squealing, "Trick or Treat!" There was happiness in the air, lots of neighbor greeting neighbor, lots of doors opening to children, lots of "thank you," lots of "please come again." All this neighborliness is good for children. They need a caring community beyond their families, in order to fulfill their basic needs for support, respect, a sense of belonging, and community safety; they need it in order to build resilience.
Kenneth Ginsberg, M.D., a pediatrician at The Children's Hospital in Philadelphia, has put together a book that could be helpful to any parent who wants to learn more about this topic: Building Resilience in Children and Teens: Giving Your Child Roots and Wings. He writes about contributors to resilience such as competence, confidence, connection, character, and coping effectively with stress. Another noteworthy resource for parents and teachers is the website, www.healthychildren.org.
The world has changed since I was a child. Candy can't be given to children if it's not wrapped and doesn't have a list of ingredients on it—no point in handing out homemade unwrapped candy apples. But there are always points to ponder when it comes to rearing or living near children. What kind of neighbor are you? Do you take the time to get to know kids in your neighborhood and their parents? Do you say supportive things to them? Offer them little jobs from time to time? Do you smile and chat with them? The world can be a frightening place for children. Keep their neighborhood safe; teach them that they matter.
