A nine-year-old boy recently shared with me that he told his
parents he wanted to stop taking the guitar lessons that he loved, because he wanted to save them the gas money they'd have to spend in order to drive him to the studio. He went on to say that he probably wouldn't be able to go to college, and that pretty soon his parents might have to sell their house and move into a trailer. I know his parents well, and they are a long way from having to sell their house. "Where did you get this idea?" I asked him. "My social studies teacher told our class that we should be thinking about these things," he replied.
Really? In Fourth Grade? My first reaction was one of irritation and the feeling that I vehemently disagreed with his teacher. Doesn't Mr. So-and-So have the good sense to refrain from burdening the children in his classroom with adult issues?
Upon further reflection, I realized that for many children, some perhaps even in his school, the harsh reality of becoming homeless is only too real. In an article in Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marian-wright-edelman/economic-crisis-puts-chil_b_167503.html ) Marian Wright Edelman reported that increasing numbers of middle class families have moved into their cars and are so afraid of loosing their children that they tell the children to keep it a secret. Also, child neglect cases multiply as the economy fails. Families try to make do rather than have high heating or electrical bills, and many avoid buying needed medications or seeking medical care. At the same time, there's an increase in the number of children with bruises, broken bones, and burns seen in hospital emergency rooms, as well as the number of calls made to child abuse prevention hotlines. Parents are under increased stress; domestic violence increases.
We are reminded of the seriousness of our economic crisis at every turn, and we need to take heart, continually encouraging each other to remember that within this crisis there are opportunities for us to harness familial and community resources for the good of our children. Like the teacher of the nine-year-old I described in the beginning of this blog did with his students, if you're a stressed parent you may be inclined to put too much pressure on your children, making them stressed out, anxious, and depressed. Learn some stress management techniques. An easy resource through which you can find many is the website www.mindtools.com . Spend more time with your children, perhaps even starting a new hobby together. Kids will enjoy being part of brainstorming and deciding upon a hobby. A helpful website for other ideas related to time with your family is
http://slowfamilyliving.com/tag/slow-parenting-during-economic-crisis/ . Of particular note is their document, 60 Things You Can Do With Your Family That Don't Cost a Dime, which can be downloaded for free. Children of today are living in a time of unprecedented financial change, and they are exposed to a 1-sided media view.
(http://www.parenting-journals.com/66/2008-financial-crisis-raising-family-stress/ ). Teach them about money. Teach them how to budget, and talk to them about their perceptions, thoughts, feelings and concerns about money. This is a time also for faith communities and other community-based organizations to be particularly sensitive to the need for their outreach. But community support cannot only come from them. Neighbor-to-neighbor kindnesses are equally important, as is the caring support of extended family members. And finally, if you need support reach out and ask for it. We're all in this together and there's no shame in relying on each other
