The November 29, 2010 issue of Family Circle Magazine, opened to page 14, sits atop a pile of books on my desk. A reader's post-it is attached, with a note for me to please write about the first article on the page, which is entitled "Desperately Being Miley." Beside the post-it is a photo of Miley holding a microphone in one hand and a pole to dance against in the other. The caption below it reads: "Miley raunching it up at the Teen Choice Awards," and the article explains that Miley is trying to reinvent herself as a sex kitten and she's got the tell-tale props: biker boots, hot pants, body tattoos. To top it off, we're warned that she's starring in a new movie this year entitled LOL: Laughing Out Loud, in which Miley's character loses her virginity, smokes pot, drinks, kisses two girls on the lips, and flashes her Brazilian Wax at her mother, played by Demi Moore.
Honestly, if her character is gay, kissing two girls on the lips in the movie doesn't bother me. Gay adolescents in our culture are so marginalized, criticized, and bullied, I think it's good for them (and for us) to see same-gender kissing normalized. But what does bother me is the number of innocent, beautiful, bright little girls, including my granddaughters and their friends, who knew Miley Cyrus as Hannah Montana. Hannah and her friends came into their family rooms episode after episode, singing, laughing, learning, and creating. She was fun, and the girls wanted to be like her. They dressed up as Hannah Montana for Halloween, memorized songs from the show, bought Hannah merchandise for each other. They were being "branded" - a
marketing word meaning to get them attached to a brand at an early age (the earlier the better) so that they will buy it for years and years. Well, now that they're brainwashed and on the cusp of
adolescence, which is notoriously a very difficult and sensitive stage for girls, along comes one of their favorite celebrities, looking like a porn star.
LOL? It's no laughing matter. The pervasiveness of pornography in our culture has made sexiness a much sought-after attribute and objectifying women and adolescent girls an increasingly desired form of entertainment. You really don't have to look very far before you see a preponderance of sexual look-at-me messages: look-at-me with my top exposing almost all of my breasts, look at me in my skin-tight pants, look at me wearing almost nothing; look at me enjoying the way I can, in this dance, mimic masturbating and having intercourse in front of you and millions of others who are watching TV now. In contrast, a 2007 report from the American Psychological Association compiled findings that the sexualization of girls can hurt them in many ways - anything from low self-esteem and eating disorders to depression and anxiety. (aboutourkids.org)
I worry about our young people when I think of all the media they ingest, how much of their life energy and money is spent following and emulating celebrities. Fame and fortune are held up as lofty goals in our culture, and celebrities have become their heroes. Doesn't that bring a dose of social responsibility into the picture? Our young people need real heroes who challenge them to improve their character, to have courage, to persevere, to transcend hardship, to make good choices, to contribute to the betterment of humankind. And girls (trust me on this one; I was one once; I've reared four daughters, have three granddaughters, and have been a family therapist for almost three decades) need to be respected: mind, body, and spirit, and need to be taught how to take care of themselves. Where are the responsible adults in Miley's life, and what have they been teaching her? If Miley were able to feel a sense of responsibility to her audience of young girls, she might embrace her opportunity to inspire them, to encourage them to tap into their own potential, to nurture their strength. For now, however, it appears that instead, she's electing to go the route of Brittany Spears, and this frightens me for her and for her fans, because, to quote from the last two lines of one of my favorite poems, For Strong Women by Marge Piercy, "...until we are all strong together, a strong woman is a woman strongly afraid."
Author's Note: During the evolving disasters in Japan I've struggled with whether to write and post my blog(s). The topics of concern, valid though they are, are so far removed from the magnitude of suffering we are witnessing on television. But this morning, as I watched images of little children getting tested for radiation poisoning something cracked open within me -- the resolve to create a living prayer for all of them, by making choices today that support life and healing and peace. Please accept this blog as part of that effort. Thank you.
