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Think hard: When's the last time you took credit—really took credit—for a job well done, without giving props to others, shying away from praise, or otherwise shifting the recognition to anyone but yourself?
A study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin found that women who work with men are far less likely to take credit for their work than women who collaborate with other women. Instead, women in mixed-gender work teams tend to give more credit than is necessary—or even accurate—to their male colleagues. This is habitual: Instead of talking about themselves in an honest way, women give away the credit, talking about the great team they had, the collaborative effort involved, or the talents of someone, anyone, else. In some instances, women will even point to the negative aspects of themselves or their achievements instead of simply saying "thank you" or otherwise owning potential praise.
Sound familiar?
Why does this happen? It's complicated. Women are more natural sharers or group participants, used to adopting a hard-to-shake "we" mentality, not an "I" mentality. Also women paired with male partners tend to devalue their contributions because that's what work culture still seems to enforce in many ways. The new study also suggested the rising incidence of the "Imposter Syndrome," in which high-achieving people (more often women) don't feel they deserve the success that they have earned. And so they divert the credit onto others—typically, the men in the group.
But boasting is what helps workers get ahead.
"The Next Generation of Working Women" a report from management consulting firm Accenture, found that women are less likely to speak up than men, less likely to proactively manage their own careers, and less likely to ask for a raise. According to an NPR report, the last fact can mean anywhere from $1 million to $1.5 million in lost earnings over a woman's lifetime.
Owning up to accomplishments isn't about arrogance; it's about equality.
The answer isn't for women to work exclusively with women—or even to start "acting like a man" at work—but there are clear changes women can make. It's common sense: Taking accountability for yourself and your work means accepting the good along with the bad. If you own up to your mistakes, why shouldn't you own up to your victories?
Here's how to start getting over the fear of healthy self-promotion:
- Honor thyself. Take the time to acknowledge your accomplishments internally—getting used to the idea on a personal level will make outwardly owning up feel more comfortable and more natural. Realize that taking credit for the work you've done doesn't undermine the efforts of the team, and that owning your work isn't big-headed if it's simply true. Understand that it's not about politeness: You might actually be hurting yourself, your career, and your bank account by giving too much credit to everyone else.
- Ask for accountability. When companies make an effort to recognize the work of individuals, versus that of a group, it's easier for women to take proper credit without much self-promotion. Many organizations don't aim to understand who does what on a team, and how well, so long as the work gets done. Speak up and that will begin to change. Let your boss know that while you were happy to share props for your work with the entire department, you want to be sure he knows that the real credit—at least in his eyes—belongs to you, and that it represents your level of commitment to the job.
- Have someone else brag for you. Consider teaming up with a friend or partner at work who can talk up your skills and call out your achievements for you—and you can do the same in return. This is called co-bragging, and it works.
Peggy Drexler, Ph.D. is a research psychologist, Assistant Professor of Psychology at Weill Medical College, Cornell University and author of two books about modern families and the children they produce. Follow Peggy on Twitter and Facebook and learn more about Peggy at www.peggydrexler.com.
