Ordinary Courage

Hi Dr. Brown, thank you for an excellent post!

According to the Kaiser study (released Jan 2010),
kids 8-18 are spending, on average:

(From Page 2)

4:29 hours per day watching TV
4:54 hours per day watching TV/movies
7:38 hours per day plugged into media (TV, movies, music, computer, video games, print)

http://www.kff.org/entmedia/upload/8010.pdf

http://www.kff.org/entmedia/mh012010pkg.cfm

It's amazing that kids can spend such a huge
chunk of their lives in front of the TV, yet
no one want to talk about how this might be
having a detrimental effect.

Terry

Reality TV is the modern version of gladiator's fight. We watch people be humilated and psychologically tortured for our pleasure.

The movie "Funny games", by Austrian film maker Michael Haneke, features many sadistic scenes, that we initially think are for the pleasure of the psychopathic character, until he turns to the camera to remind us that WE chose to watch this movie, and that these cruel acts are perpetrated for OUR pleasure.

The human race is cursed with sadistic flaws that have been useful in our evolutionary history, and that we consciously aspire to overcome.

Humans upheld their ideals while in plain light, but revert to their nature too easily...

You are such a breath of fresh air. A friend sent me a link to your Youtube video presentation and I became an instant "fan". I've tweeted and Facebooked it and sent the link to special friends. Needless to say I like what you have to say and how you are saying it. Unfortunately the curelty crisis is not something we leave behind following grade school. I'm amazed how grown ups treat each other in the work place. I unplugged from the TV nightmare a year ago and now watch only full length movies of my choosing w/out commercial interrumption OR toxic programming to my subconscious. Cruelty has actually become the new sexy in some circles. It is a pattern of behavior that is programmed into the psyche from childhood. Starting with the 'terrible twos' we appear to get hooked into a behavior pattern that grooves us into a dark side mentality, attracting more of the same until one day we get the picture and stop the insanity - or not. Unfortunately there seems to be a greater number who don't 'get it' and do something different than there are who do. The value of your work in this field is that it is shedding light on a subject that has been left to fester for too long. Thank you for noticing and taking your shot in the fireing sequence.

If everyone would spend their time looking for the good in others instead of the bad, the world would be much happier. Why is our gut reaction to look at the bad, the unworthy, the imperfection? We should all try to train our minds to think positively about others and teach our children the same thing. Thanks Brene for speaking up and speaking out on behalf of the parent trying to think positively!

I have read and reread this article, sent it to others, posted it on my facebook wall and twitter and... I thank you.

In the early years of my teaching career, I enveloped Vivian Gussin-Paley's You Can't Say You Can't Play - and it worked beautifully with support always modelling and offering guidance for the ones who needed to learn how to include and envelope each child, where they were in their life. Later in my teaching career I was fortunate to hear the words of Dr. Martin Brokenleg and I have used his book _Reclaiming Youth at Risk_ as a manual in my everyday so-called regular classroom. His number one belief with children, actually everyone, is that each must feel as if he/she belongs - when this happens she/he can move through the entire circle of life with ease and grace... Thank you again Brene for your heart-filled intentional words.

...Ellyn

We could start with our school system. All about fitting in and competing. Take a look at the Montessori method of teaching. More about sharing and helping and working together.
Just a thought.

It all starts at home -not at school. That approach is passing the buck and expecting another to do the job. A child is like a sponge, observing, hearing and energetically feeling what is happening. A parent sets the example: when impatient in traffic, when disrespectful or contemptuous to a public servant, whether in a grocery store or anywhere else. This type of behaviour will be copied. Not needing to be right is so very important: a pleasant resolution, a smile. These are all gestures that reflect empathy, consideration, love. When a child sees this, regardless of age, then the interaction with subordinates, peers or authority figures will be respectful and kind.

This is NOT a difficult task but it must be carried out with consistency. Furthermore, an environment that is thoughtful will be offended by the gruelling and often violent virtual entertainment that is found on television today. It will not be selected as the desired program to watch. Furthermore, that type of behaviour will not be played out in school or anywhere else.

Thank-you for this great contribution and discussion. I work to prevent and reduce workplace bullying and the same message applies. We often get back what we give out. If we give acceptance, tolerance and respect, we will mostly get that back. Often in order to give this out, we need to feel peaceful within before we can share it. When we are full, then our cup overflows. If we are empty, we may tend to take, absorb what we need from others. This can often come across as bullying and harassment. In environments where there is not enough acknowledgement, acceptance and respect, then the trouble really begins, but it is so easy to prevent.

All one has to do is look at how politicians treat each other, and you'll see the national model for bullying.

Thank you for publishing this enlightening article about bullying. I had no idea the scope of what constitutes bulling behaviors.

I'm a writer and avoid publishing over half of my work because of the level of criticism and discrimination that people can experience online - from people who consider themselves experts, from envious acquaintances, from potential employers, or from not-so-innocent bystanders.

I wish that we lived in a culture where people were not shouted down when they disagree. It's very difficult for a writer to be courageously "vulnerable" when the wages of that courage can be so offensive. Sometimes I regret the invention of the Internet. Poetry slams have social problems for the same reason, I think.