Just in time for Father's Day, This I Believe: On Fatherhood is the perfect gift for dads of any age. Here's more from Dan Gediman, executive producer of This I Believe and co-editor of this anthology:
Jennifer Haupt: Tell me about This I Believe, which is a unique opportunity for people from every walk of life to submit essays addressing the things they are passion about.
Dan Gediman: Our situation is rather unique. We are a non-profit organization founded in 2004 that takes as our primary inspiration the popular radio series of the same name that Edward R. Murrow hosted from 1951-1955. The gist of their project, and of ours, is to ask people from all walks of life to write a short essay about a core belief that informs their lives, and to tell the story of where that belief came from and/or how it evolved, was tested, or changed. They too anthologized many of the essays they received into a series of best-selling books. One of their books was the direct inspiration for our organization.
Our iteration of This I Believe differs from the 1950s version mostly in that we have invited the whole world to write essays and submit them to us via our website at thisibelieve.org, while they only aired essays that they had directly solicited from individuals, mostly prominent people of the day.
JH: How many essays on fatherhood did you cull the 60 essays in this collection from, and how did you choose them?
DG: By the time we prepared this book, we had received nearly 100,000 essays from every state of the union and over 90 countries world-wide (by now we have exceeded that 100,000 essay mark). Each of those essays are read by one of our essay reviewers and tagged as to topic and, in a general way, given a subjective recommendation as to quality. To prepare this book, we read through several hundred essays on the subject of fatherhood before deciding on the 60 that make up our current book.
We were, first and foremost, looking for thoughtful, inspiring, interesting, and, ideally, well-written essays. Then we wanted to make sure that we had as many different perspectives on fatherhood as possible e.g. essays from and about biological fathers, step-fathers, adoptive fathers, non-related father figures. We also strove to balance, to the degree possible, the genders of the authors. And we wanted to include essays about both positive and negative experiences with one's father (to reflect the reality that parent/child relationships are not always smooth sailing, at least for a portion of one's life-such as in adolescence).
JH: Are there one or two essay in particular that resonate with you, in terms of your own experience as a father? Or fathers in general?
DG: Many of the essays from fathers reflect aspects of my own experiences in fatherhood. One in particular that affected me actually begins the book, an essay from Corey Harbaugh, about the challenges he experienced when his son started to question the existence of Santa Claus. What parent hasn't had (or will have) some version of that dilemma?
I have twins (a boy and a girl), so my dilemma was multiplied by two, and complicated by the fact that only one of them was, at that time, beginning to look critically at the Santa/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy triumvirate. I struggled with how to honestly address that child's concerns while not prematurely raining on the other child's parade. It all turned out fine in the end, but I completely empathized with Corey's position in his essay.
JH: Taken as a whole, this collection is a wonderful study of the father-son bond and father-daughter relationships. What did you learn from putting together this book?
DG: That is a difficult question, but I guess the most honest answer is that it was reassuring, as a father, to realize that there is a vast continuum of experiences for fathers and their children, some more satisfying than others to either or both parties. And yet, in most cases, any transitory worries or enmity tended to resolve later in life.
It is perhaps emblematic of our times that many parents overly fret about the most minute aspects of their children's life, fearing that the wrong play-date, school or summer camp choice will scar them for life. The stories of the fathers and adult children showcased in this book give me hope as a parent that today's parental blunders do not necessarily result in tomorrow's serial killers.
JH: Were there certain themes that showed up again and again? Anything surprising about what did -- or didn't -- show up?
DG: I would say, in general, that the majority of essays that we read from adult children about their fathers were written on the occasion of their father's recent death (or perhaps on the anniversary of a father's death). We could have easily filled a book with many of these lovely, poignant testimonials to deceased fathers. I would say the next largest group of essays from adult children were written about the challenges (and/or the unexpected joys) of caring for an ill or elderly father. Again, there could be another book just on that subject.
As far as anything surprising, I would say it was the volume of essays we have received extolling the virtues of one's stepfathers and stepmothers. Even though it is now such a common phenomenon to be a raised by a step-parent, I guess I was surprised how many people chose that as the focus of their This I Believe essay. Perhaps it is precisely due to the fact that step-parents have experienced such a bad rap in popular culture (TV, movies, books, and, especially, fairy tales) that essayists have felt it necessary to shine a light on the truly good, dedicated people who help raise children that may not be their own by blood.
JH: What's something that has surprised you -- and maybe even continues to surprise you -- about being a father?
DG: Everything I could say on the subject has been more eloquently said by the essayists featured in this book. I think one recurring theme from fathers in this book, especially those that entered into fatherhood reluctantly, is the joy they have experienced from the most mundane moments of parenting their kids. There is a wonderful essay in the book from David Lintvedt about the dreams he had as a young man that he would travel the world, have an exciting career, and have as series great adventures. But then, as a single parent, he found adventure in "changing diapers, waking up to calm my daughter after a nightmare, and chasing loose hamsters in her room."
JH: What's one true thing you learned from your father about fatherhood?
DG: I would say it is the power of what you don't say or do to your child. It is very hard to let your child learn from their own mistakes, whether it is burning a hand on the stove or wrecking the family car. And yet, for all of us, those are precisely the lessons that we hold onto into adulthood. It takes great patience and wisdom to let your child fall down a few times, rather than always rushing in to hold them up (or forbidding them from getting near the stove).
JH: What are you working on now in the book arena?
DG: Well, at this moment my co-editors (John Gregory and my wife Mary Jo Gediman) and I are putting the finishing touches on the companion book to our anthology of fatherhood essays, This I Believe: On Motherhood, which will come out right before Mother's Day 2012. In between these two books on parenting we will release a book in October 2011 called This I Believe: Life Lessons, which, as its name implies, will contain a series of essays that focus on the lessons we learn over the course of our lives (such as, perhaps, that you really shouldn't touch that hot stove).