Occupational Hazards

How organizing our space can organize our thoughts and life: a chronicle

Dana Gionta, Ph.D. — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 19:03:12 +0000

Recently I hired a professional organizer, after much hesitation and rationalization, to help me better organize my home. I did what I believe many people do to themselves before hiring outside help. I had multiple conversations with myself, over several months, prior to making the call.

The conversations went something like this: "I don't need a personal organizer, I can do it myself." "I'm just procrastinating, I'll make sure to tackle it next week." "I was very busy this week, that's why I didn't get to it." "I'm supposed to be very organized, after all I completed a doctoral program and started my own business." And then the "what will they think questions? popped up. "What will she think when she sees this closet of chaos, avalanche of paper madness and mayhem?"

After reflecting on my thoughts and fears, I began asking myself some pointed questions. "How honest was I being with myself around this issue?" "Was I being accepting or judgmental with myself? "Where was the focus of my thoughts, on the potential positive outcomes, or the imagined negatives of the experience?" After answering myself, which involved a bit of squirming ;-), I made the call. After a short interviewing period, I found an extraordinary professional organizer. It was the best decision I made this year, and has led to unforeseen life changes, and the learning of invaluable personal and professional skills. Perhaps most important of all was the self-acceptance I gained through the process.

It has been such an extra-ordinary experience that I decided to share the skills learned, and unanticipated benefits that I received, with my readers in several upcoming posts. Stay tuned. In the interim, I would be very happy to learn what skills and life changes others have experienced through their own process of organizing.

A Navigator's Handbook to Better Leadership: A Review

Dana Gionta, Ph.D. — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 04:36:02 +0000

During this time of economic and corporate turbulence, many employees are experiencing significant anxiety and uncertainty. Organizations and those in leadership positions can do a lot to help their employees better navigate the murky and shifting environment. One of the best books I've read in this regard is the "The Navigator's Handbook - 101 Leadership Lessons for Work and Life" by David O'Brien. In his book, David discusses the critical elements that successful organizations and extraordinary leaders share. One critical element of good leadership, that David identified, is the act of self-reflection. Self-reflection occurs through the process of identifying, assimilating and aligning the organization's fundamental values, with those of its employees. Examples of reflective questions explored in his book include:

1. Which values are shared between the organization and its employees?
2. What is the organization's level of commitment to living its stated values?
3. How does the collective organization uphold the integrity of its key values in times of crisis or in the face of competing values?

Clarity and connection to one's values is integral to the process of employees developing a meaningful relationship to their work, as well as the organization. According to the author, extraordinary leaders are stewards of this meaning-making process, assisting employees in discovering and ultimately defining a higher purpose within their work. This higher purpose helps foster a spirit of community, and a deeper sense of connection to the organization.

David contends that good leadership has "a lot to do with making people feel valued, communicating in an open, direct and honest way, and being a role model for the type of change, behaviors and attitudes one desires within the organization." These leadership practices are consistent with sound psychological theory and research (e.g. information-seeking and social learning). This research has shown that people generally want more information in times of uncertainty and crisis. They also respond and learn better through observation and environmental cues and reinforcement. Strong communication skills, clear expectations, and recognition of employees' efforts, talents and concerns are powerful tools in moderating employees' increasing anxiety and perceived loss of control.

A chapter in the book that I found particularly useful was the one titled "Behaviors and Choice." This chapter presents a framework of four behaviors (the navigator, victim, critic and bystander) and interactional patterns between the leader and his/her employees. David contends that these behavioral patterns have a significant influence on an employee's career success or failure. Other valuable chapters address leadership lessons and recommendations regarding employee engagement, navigating organizational change, the value of employee development and coaching, and leadership communication. I found the brief self-assessments of select leadership skills and characteristics, at the end of most chapters, quite valuable in helping readers identify their existing leadership strengths and recognize areas for improvement. I highly recommend this book for executives, managers, business coaches and all employees interested in further developing their leadership abilities, in or out of the office.

Additional information regarding David O'Brien and the Navigator's Handbook can be found at his website: http://www.workchoicesolutions.com

Setting Boundaries at Work: Steps to Making Them a Reality

Dana Gionta, Ph.D. — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 17:48:59 +0000

One way to understand boundaries is to think about them as your limits or parameters in relationship to something or someone. The first step in setting boundaries is to identify when and in what context they are needed. Maintaining your boundaries in a particular situation refers to knowing and respecting your limits - what you are willing and able to give, as well as tolerate, without compromising your own physical, emotional, or spiritual health.

Examples of professional boundaries include the following:

-Schedule a regular lunch break daily to restore your energy and help manage stress. If it's not possible to take a walk, then give yourself time at your desk to read a book or magazine.

-Balance periodic social breaks to chat and connect with your co-workers and colleagues with uninterrupted alone time for you to focus on your day's agenda and priorities. Arranging for uninterrupted time may involve: closing your door in the afternoon; responding to phone calls or e-mails at specific times; and alerting family members and friends of the best hours to reach you. Clients often express discomfort at asserting their needs for uninterrupted time. It is, however, a very valuable professional and personal skill to learn.

-Maintain your desired work schedule without allowing others - co-workers, employers, departmental crises - to compromise your ability to leave on time for the majority of your work week.

-Make "work talk" off limits during lunch hour, as a general rule. This includes office gossip and criticism.

-Minimize multi-tasking each day to avoid burnout by week's end.

Some flexibility around boundaries is healthy, however, the tendency is to overextend and over accommodate at the costs to one's self, health or family life. Consistency is important to avoid giving mixed messages between what you say and what you do. Keep the promises you make to yourself, and be clear about your needs and expectations to others. Taking care of our health and well-being will not only make us more effective, creative, energetic and responsible employees, but better partners, parents, friends and individuals.

7 Steps to Better Employee Self-Care in the Workplace

Dana Gionta, Ph.D. — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 19:11:38 +0000

Balancing work, family, and personal life has always been challenging for employees. It is even more challenging today. Our technological advancements are overwhelming us with its information overload. The workday is filled with multi-tasking expectations and increasing emphasis on efficiency, productivity and global competitiveness. Employees find themselves competing not only against peers but also against a global workforce. These workplace pressures continue to mount, especially with the current economic and political challenges and uncertainty. Such pressures can lead to the experience of cumulative stress for employees. It may also compromise the quality of their performance in all areas of their lives, and their emotional and physical well-being overall. According to a national poll by the American Psychological Association (APA), two-thirds of men and women have said that they experience significant stress while at work, and one in four has missed work because of stress.

Fortunately, there are actions we can take to improve how we cope and respond to the challenges ahead. There is no better time than NOW to begin taking care of our health and well-being, and to make Self-Care a priority. Many of us associate self-care with getting adequate exercise and proper nutrition. Self-care practices are often done either before or after work, but not during. Being at work, however, does not negate the need for continued self-care. Considering the total number of hours we spend weekly at work, it is actually more important to our well-being and for our relationships, to practice good professional self-care while at work. There are many health-enhancing behavioral strategies and self-care practices one can apply that would make a significant difference - one health step at a time.

There are two important points to remember when beginning. First, the effects are cumulative, so making one small change in one area will positively affect other areas of your life. Second, (this might make you smile), you can start anywhere! It is less difficult than you think, and there is no one right way to begin. For example, if you begin with taking a lunch break at work (at least 30-45 self-enhancing minutes), you'll notice over time that you now have more energy at the end of the day, to engage in whichever creative, healthy or fun activity that brightens your day

The following is a list of 7 recommended steps to better self-care at work (to apply in any order). Think of this as a starter list. As you become more aware of your own unique self-care needs, feel welcome to expand this list by adding your own!

1. Set and maintain professional boundaries.
2. Balance your work schedule and life demands so no one day or one week is too much.
3. Make time throughout the work day for intermittent self-care breaks (i.e. lunch or afternoon walk; social time with co-workers; listen to relaxing music).
4. Create a healthy work space for yourself
5. Develop a short list (2-3 items) of top priorities each day
6. Minimize procrastination and maximize a sense of control.
7. Before committing to a project, assignment or committee position etc., first consider your needs and available resources, and whether it will lead to overextending yourself - a sure way to compromise your self-care.

Check my upcoming posts for a more in depth discussion, with practical examples, on each of the 7 steps. In the meantine, you may find it helpful to review any of Cheryl Richardson's books on self-care. I've found them invaluable both personally and professionally.

The Stigma of Therapy: I Don't Need a Psychologist, I'm Not Crazy

Dana Gionta, Ph.D. — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 18:24:17 +0000

Just when I think significant progress is being made toward increasing the acceptance and positive perception of counseling, something will occur to lead me to question that.

The latest occurrence was a recent interaction I had at a bank. Upon seeing my checks made out to Dr. Gionta, I was asked by the bank teller "What kind of doctor are you?" I'm a psychologist, I said. He then asked, "A clinical psychologist?" I said yes, then, "You must deal with a lot of crazy people." This both amused and somewhat surprised me. I then paused and carefully thought about how I was going to answer this, without adding to his already unfortunate stereotypical view of the profession. I said "well, actually, I work most often with people dealing with difficult life transitions, like divorce, health challenges, relocation, work stress, and family/parenting issues." "So, where is your practice located?" he asked. "Branford, CT, I said." At this point, he appeared to lower his voice and half whisper something to me. I believe he was trying to find out how much I charged? I couldn't make it out, and out of the corner of my eye noticed the other bank teller starting to look curiously at him and our exchange. I found this quite amusing...like something out of a sitcom. He finally asked, as the banking transaction was nearing the end, "Do you have a business card?" I gave him my card, thanked him for his help, and walked away, wondering where and when my next encounter with the "Stigma" would be.

Over the years, I've heard many creative names for therapy, quite reflective of the various stigmas. Some of my favorites are hocus pocus, mental brainwashing, and headshrinking. Now hocus pocus sounds kind of fun, perhaps because of its magical association. Unfortunately, to this day, the realm of therapy or counseling still remains quite mysterious to most people, somewhat like a magic trick. What really happens in that room? What do they do? Will I still be myself when I leave. If I go to a therapist, does that mean I'm crazy, weak or a failure? What will others think? What if I'm seen coming out of that kind of office? Such concerns are quite natural given our socio-cultural conditioning. Unfortunately, as a result, many people decide not to pursue counseling despite experiencing significant emotional, physical or mental distress.

Let's clarify a few things. Most people who initiate counseling do not have a serious mental illness. They have serious life challenges or are going through difficult life-cycle transitions that may be taxing their current ability to cope. This, in turn, may be adversely affecting their well-being and ability to function as well as they would like. Examples of serious life challenges can be dealing with chronic work-related stressors; career issues; financial problems; health issues or a recent health diagnosis; family or parent/child conflict; cultural assimilation; and academic issues. Examples of difficult life-cycle related transitions can be the death of a family member or friend; the ending of a romantic relationship or close friendship; family/couple changes related to the addition of a child; getting married or divorced; caregiving for loved ones due to illness or disability; and decision-making challenges related to these life choices.

These are just some of the reasons why people decide to go to counseling. So, if you are going through one or more of these challenges at the same time, you're not alone. The effects are often cumulative, which is generally referred to as a 'pile-up' of stressors. Counseling during these times can be quite helpful in providing both the support and skills to better address these life challenges. Ultimately, it is an invaluable investment in your emotional, physical and mental health, an act of courage not weakness, and a gift to those whose lives you touch.

If you'd like to learn more about what counseling options are available through your employer, contact your company's Employee Assistance Program (EAP) or Human Resources Department. You can also use the Psychology Today therapist finder to locate a psychologist near you.

What can flowers teach us about boundaries?

Dana Gionta, Ph.D. — Mon, 19 May 2008 02:27:15 +0000

Today I bumped into an acquaintance I'm quite fond of, who was holding a bouquet of flowers. Of course, I shared how beautiful they were, and I quickly noticed a tinge of discomfort. She mentioned they were from her somewhat recent ex-boyfriend with whom she was dating for 2+years. It appears that he continues to send her flowers quite often, despite her repeated requests that he stop. They are a painful reminder of the relationship that needed to end, the temporary loss of a dream, and the tainting association of something usually quite joy-provoking. While we were talking, many others passed and commented on the flowers, thinking how lucky, fortunate or how much joy she's receiving from them.

However, at times, reality hits hard. Many times, whether within a relationship, or upon its ending, being clear, honest and forthcoming about one's needs and expectations to one's partner, can be extraordinarily challenging. It takes courage, sometimes tremendous courage. I gently inquired if she indicated her discomfort to her ex, and repeated her request for him to cease and desist, this time more firmly. She hadn't, for many reasons - I suspect guilt about being the "terminator," fear of hurting him further, minimizing to herself (her own feelings) how much seeing those flowers (every 2 weeks) truly distressed her.

When it comes to setting boundaries with others, there are often many dragons to slay to get up the moxy, hutspa, garbanzos - to do it. I suggested she contact the florist, explain the situation, and ask them to discontinue all future flower deliveries by this sender. She appeared wide-eyed, with a mixed look of surprise and relief, and then, why not? I thought, "you go girl, set those boundaries" and said good-bye.

A workplace example of this is a co-worker or family member who repeatedly interrupts you throughout the day with questions or to just chat. While recently attending a professional conference, a colleague shared an uncanny story about just this. A co-worker was planning her wedding, and for 6 months, family members and the wedding planner inundated her with calls. This resulted in a gradual, but significant decline in her performance with a probationary consequence. One effective strategy to address this is to give family members and others a specific day(s)/time(s) during which they can call. Any other time, you are unavailable, and will not answer the phone. After 2-3 weeks of consistently responding only during set times, the unintentionally distracting phone calls will stop.

As a psychologist, I often work with individuals to identify and set clear and firm boundaries at home, at work, and with themselves. It isn't easy, but the rewards are incredible - increased energy, self and other-respect, greater time for oneself, and an age-defying benefit- looking years (often 5-10) younger. I never would have believed it, until I saw for myself. Yes, good nutrition and exercise are very important and help us defer the visible signs of aging. However, don't' underestimate the transformative power of good, consistent relationship boundaries - it'll do wonders for your complexion, not to mention your overall quality of life. Experiment, have fun with it, take a risk, and set a boundary today, then watch closely and see what happens.