Obesely Speaking

The brain and obesity

4 Surprising Things Super Hot People Do

The art and science of sexiness
Billi Gordon, Ph.D.
This post is a response to 11 Reasons Being Super Hot Looking is Problematic by Billi Gordon, Ph.D.

Feeling sexy is important, no matter what size you are.  Likewise, sexy people come in all colors, shapes, sizes, races, and ages.  What is the secret?  I queried my sexiest male and female friends. This is what I found.

1)   Consume massive volumes of food and eat exactly what you want. Food is extremely important to humans because it sustains life and provides pleasure. Ironically, as many of us are busy depriving ourselves, the super hot are sucking up food like cyclones, and ignoring people whose attention would make most people give a crocodile a lap dance. The key is not the amount, but the types of food they eat.  They eat tons of fruits, vegetables, broth-based soups, cooked whole grains, popcorn, and large amounts of protein.

They also eat whatever they want to eat.  The trick is they do not want rich, calorie-dense, palatable foods regularly because there is less disconnection between their homeostatic (need to feed) and hedonistic (want to eat) mechanisms. If we listen to our bodies we will hear, “Eat more veggies, fresh fruits and healthy proteins,” not “Super-size me.”   

They also really enjoy eating. Deriving extreme pleasure from eating is not the same as self-medicating with food. They do not overeat, they uber eat.  Meaning, they go to nice restaurants, take time to prepare great meals, create an ambiance and eat mindfully (without distractions e.g. watching TV). This allows them to enjoy their food. The more pleasure derived from eating, the more neurochemical rewards for the brain.  The happier the brain is, the more internal satisfaction.  Internal satisfaction promotes confidence.  Confidence is sexy.  

2)   Only have great sex. My sexiest friends all say the same thing.  Having great sex is important. Sadly, most people do not even know what great sex is, and know even less about having it.  In addition, many people do not understand that you do not need another person to have a great sexual experience. Most people also think that simple masturbation and rudimentary self-sexual scenarios (involving devices) are a last resort.  If you think that, you do not know how to make love to yourself.  If you do not know how to truly satisfy yourself, you cannot teach someone else to do it.  

Tragically, many people are sex camels trudging across endless, socially arid deserts. Like any extreme environment, the harshness plays tricks on your mind. In essence, many human sexual encounters are like mirages—illusions that look like one thing but are actually something very different. The sexiest people I know sometimes go months without having sex with another person because having great sex one time in six months is better than having mediocre or bad sex 60 times.  

People who do not know what great sex is are like people who do not understand the importance of eating extremely well. You can never get enough of something that is almost satisfying.  Hence, many people continuously have non A-game sex because they mistakenly think even bad sex is better than no sex at all.  Super hot looking people approach sex differently because it is an easily acquirable commodity.  That is, they approach it like gourmets.  This level of satiety results in increased dopamine release in the Ventral Tegmental Area (VTA).  The VTA, which is a subcortical structure in the brain’s reward circuitry releases dopamine when your body meets basic human needs such as feeding, breeding and social bonding. A happy VTA means a happy camper.  A happy camper is a sexy camper.  

3)   Get your exercise through recreation and play.  Hours at the gym render physical rewards. However, it is not as comprehensively rewarding as getting exercise from recreational and play activities such as dancing or a sport. There are more neurochemical rewards in physical fitness derived from play opposed to rote exercise. Play is natural, whereas gyms are not. However many times, especially for urban populations, the gym is the only option. The better you can integrate play-driven physical fitness rewards into your life, the more naturally attractive you will become. 

4)   Understand your body chemistry and scent.  Smell is the only sensory input that does not go through the thalamus (the sensory clearing house of the brain). Thus, smell deeply affects humans. Most times, we are not consciously aware of the positive and negative affect of smell.  The sexiest people I have known are keenly aware of the effects of certain foods on their body chemistries and how that contributes to attractiveness.  For example, plants from the Brassica genus (broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage etc.) affect body odor because of the sulfur.  Likewise, the less meat you eat, the better you smell. 

Super sexy people understand how to use body fragrance.  A person should not be able to smell you until their nose is next to your skin. Loud perfumes and colognes defeat the purpose of body fragrance.  Only those who know you intimately should know your scent. 

Ultimately, the brain is the most important sex organ, although I have never had anyone undress me looking for a library card.  Regardless, sexiness is about intelligence.  Intelligence is the ability to learn and apply facts and skills, which is what the sexiest people I know do best.  

Always remember, when all else has been removed, one’s haircut, attitude, and scent remain, and of course, remain fabulous and phenomenal!

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Billi Gordon, Ph.D., is  Co-Investigator in the  Ingestive Behaviors & Obesity Program, Center for the Neurobiology of Stress, David Geffen School of Medicine at UCLA.

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