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I really appreciate these.. This is really nice article I when I see the title that time I feel that this is for girl why should i read but when I start to read this Its seems like really interested and this is.. So thank you for write this..
for reading it, and thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts.
I am a former fashion model and a current teacher, and I am amazed at how I am treated by people I work with, especially women. Because I work with mainly women, I hear them complain so often about how men mistreat them (aka don't pay them the attention they would like, or treat them like an object), and I can agree with them the overwhelming majority of the time. However,in my work environment, women are not used to working with men, but the men that they do work with are usually much older and married, or not "physically attractive".
As a result, I feel like their mascot most of the time, and I cannot believe the things I have been told over the years that have not only been blatent offers, sending of innapropriate pictures, and just straight-up sexual harrassment, but how many of these women are married, and how these women literally saw nothing wrong with some of this behavior. I have had to leave two school districts because of women not being able to literally control their emotions and see me as another adult.
My friends just laugh and think I have it made, when I tell them these things, but I am not a goofy college student anymore, but an adult in a professional environment where I work with children, and it is insane how some women behave at times considering what our job entails.
On the upside, I am now able to empathize with women on a level that virtually no man is able to do in subject of feeling objectified and not appreciated for who you are. Nevertheless, I believe I have truly experienced as much of this objectification if not more than the average women, and when I bring it up with most women, they usually think of it as a big joke, and I guess I don't blame them to an extent. You would just think that if they experience such disrespectful behavior so consistently from men that they would have the dignity to never treat anyone in the same manner.
However, when together in groups, these same women are just as brutal as men, and while I used to become angry about this, I now am just sad, because I am and have always been an advocate for women. In the end I have received an unprecedented more amount of harrassment from women than I have from men in my adult life. It is not even comparable.
for sharing your experience. You always think that people "should know better," but they seldom do. Hence, I am always surprised by ethnic minority negative attitudes towards Gays. Have a great day. Thanks Again!
I am guilty of writing off super-physically attractive men as players!
Trust me, I am guilty of doing much worse with super-physically attractive guys. LOL Namaste. Have a splendid weekend!
You have hit the nail on the head once again with this article Bill.
I have commented on your articles before. I don't know if you remember or not. I grew up as an obese, abused, child with daily beatings and constantly humiliated.
I am the quintessential ugly duckling. Now that I am grown. I am a blue eyed blond with 6 pack abs and very symmetrical facial features. (now that I am pushing 50 my hair is starting to grey but the grey is hard to see due to the light colored hair.) I look mid to late thirties.
I have had women drop things when I walk up to them. Some stutter in my presence. Some have been hateful to me before I have ever had the chance to say a word.
In my younger days during the thin years of my roller coaster ride with my weight. Women have taken me straight to bed within 30 minutes of just meeting me. At the time it was a real ego boost after growing up obese. Then I would think to myself that the women didn't want me for me, they wanted what I looked like. This chiseled hard body wasn't the real me. The real me is a fat little boy that nobody loves and just wants to torment and ridicule. So I would dump them and laugh at their pain and think to myself that I was teaching them a lesson for being so sickeningly superficial.
Today when I look back at my life, it's really sad. But then again it's not really that bad. I've learned a lot and I'm ok with it. I have forgiven myself and my family for making me that way. I hope that some of those women can forgive me and live happy lives of their own.
I do stay in good shape now days but I do it more for my health than for my ego. I don't feel like I have anything to prove to anyone about anything anymore. And when women do drop their little hints or treat me some of the ways that they do, I just ignore it or play it off like it went right over my head.
I wonder sometimes what it would be like to just be average instead of living my life at one end or the other. I guess that all I ever really wanted was for someone to love that FAT little boy that lives inside of me. It took me a long time to find that someone. That someone was me.
Have a nice week
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Billi Gordon, Ph.D., is Co-Investigator in the Ingestive Behaviors & Obesity Program, Center for the Neurobiology of Stress, David Geffen School of Medicine at UCLA.
It can take a radical reboot to get past old hurts and injustices.