Finding and keeping a man has nothing to do with how you look, or where you live, or what you do; but everything to do with how you live, and what you don't do. Read More
the fact you needed to repet so many times how feminist you are in spite of what you say is typical of such a sexist article.
Everyone needs to have their ego struck not just women
If me need to feel big in the sens women have to troke their egos, it does not mean they need to feel big but superior. If this is the case this is a disease that harms women and that you should not banalize and encourage.
There is much chance this comes from culture and not some evolutive blabber meant to justify what in fact comes from cultural biases.
It is very possible we evolved from societies where women could be powerful and authoritative, and the fact masochist sex desire is more prevalent than sadistic in men supports this point.
In this case men could be just as arroused by the reversed power relation where they would be the ones stroking another's ego; but our cultural norms do not allow for that and present no respectable women in such a relationship.
In any case, I don't see how making it seem this domination relationship has to hold in couples instead of providing ways out gives the smallest worth to this nasty article.
If you do support such a controversial discourse, the very least way of showing the smallest bit of empathy is acknowledging how this advice that men especially like their egos struck by women and will either fight or flee if a women doesnt comply as they're not going to feel emotionally respected, hurts relationships between women and men everywhere and traps women in an inferior role at work like in the family. What an horrendous advice to give. Shame on you. I suppose you don't see the shame of presenting a human group as the one needing to feel superior harms because this is whayt YOU like.
However, I do not think you understood what I was saying. No where did I say anything about stroking anybody's ego, or being subservient or dominated. Please, do not infuse your personal issues into my words. As for me not being a feminist? Seriously? I said make a man feel "manly" you interpreted that as make him feel "superior" "stroke his ego" NONE of which I said. And that is not what feeling manly is about... hate men much... hate yourself much? Well that's on you, not me. The fact that you use these terms interchangeably speaks way more to your not being a feminist than me. An angry, reactionary woman and feminist are not the same thing. Don't presume to think you know what I like, because I am more man that you have ever had, and more want than you will ever be. And if you don't believe that... just google me.
This article is terrible and super offensive. The fact that you engaged in conflict with someone being honest makes it even more so.
The beauty of PT is that there are many authors with many opinions and many different personalities. I am sure you will find one that is more suitable to your liking... happy hunting, and happy trails. The article just tells the truth, so your issue is not with me, it's with the truth, and the nerve it strikes in you. As for engaging with the previous person. Yeah I engaged with him or her because their "truth" were projections infused into what I said, and she or he was attacking me about things I did not say or had nothing to do with what I actually said.
FYI, I am not your child, so your value judgments do not concern me. If you have something concrete to debate great, I welcome it but otherwise, please do not mistake me for someone who cares what you think. You're not the Blog Police. Namaste.
Funny how are constantly using your opinion and "the truth" interchangeably, like everything that you believe must be the truth because you said it. Not sure if you're noticing that you're even doing it. Have an opinion--perfectly fine, but please expect other people to disagree with your opinion if you're going to put it out there, and you do not have to attack all of them for doing so. You gave them the right when you decided to put your opinion on a website and then call it "the truth," and "Science." I am reading your responses to some of these women, and your constantly attacking them for incorporating their "views" into whatever it was they think you said. Ever consider that if your article was written more maturely and diplomatically, even though it's still your opinion, maybe so many different people wouldn't have so many different views about what you said, and if you want to call it science, site more sources and studies..
I am a pretty mature person who has no problem reading about behavioral science, studies, and the opinions of others--as a matter of fact, you should check out a book called, "Why Beautiful People Have more Daughters." If you haven't already. It was very enlightening and touched on some of what you mentioned, and although I could not agree with all of it (and they openly admitted that some of it was their OPINION based on research and not all scientifically proven facts, I could appreciate it and found it interesting. That's what maturely written pieces of work do--your piece however, did not do that, so do not be upset because you evoked these emotions in others by a poorly written (and offensive to some) article.
Maturity is a value judgment, and culturally based. This is my blog. I write it according to who I am, and the mood I am in. If you don't like it, don't read it. I do not care that people disagree me. I just take umbrage for being attacked for things I did not say. Combative, again, subjective opinion.
Thank you, and he's arrogant, immature, and combative to boot--which makes him that much less credible in my opinion.
My locus of control is not externalized, so you realize I am not seeking credibility in your eyes. You also probably realize that since I am arrogant, immature and combative that I am probably not nearly as concerned with your opinion as you are. In the meantime, have a splendid Sunday. Namaste.
Because if you think *Billi Gordon* is "arrogant, immature, and combative to boot" and has a bad attitude regarding women, I am truly afraid of how you are going to feel when you discover quite a few other blogs out there on PT. To give you an idea: there are blogs where the worst kind of MRAs are kings, and there are LOTS of blogs where "feminism" is considered a dirty word, a ridiculous attitude, and an attack on men. Just warning you.
I did not want to be the one to say it. But so true, so very true.
You lost me at "everyone likes to have their ego STRUCK".
Could you have possibly meant to say STROKED?
I too have issues with bad grammar and sloppy language. However, if bad grammar was a crime, I'd be typing this from jail. A fellow Michigan alum, proofs my stuff for grammatical errors. She volunteered to do it, partly because she's gracious, partly cause we're both alumni cheerleaders, but mostly because my grammar was embarrassing our alma mater... LOL.
Off topic but interesting: I have observed that if you mispronounce the word in your head, you tend to misspell it. Also I have observed if you are typing a word that you type less often that is similar to a word you type frequently, you sometimes automatically type the second word, which I suspect is automaticity (physical memory stored in the body... like dialing the old touch tone phones from memory).
Thanks for your comment, and saying something very valuable that the reader is more likely to embrace coming from you than me. (or is that I...hahaha) Namaste.
Humorously, a photo of some woman who would have it easy in the dating market.
smile :-) Namaste
Such an abject view of human relationships. Very sad.
It would have been more useful had it actually shared something other than a subjective value judgement.
I can't wait to read "Seven deadly mistakes lonely men make". According to Billi Gordon, not having success in the dating arena will be deadly, you will die. It is very important that women are successful in dating, pleasing men and playing a strange game of cat and mouse.
Not that Billi Gordon will mention it, but if one is not successful dating they probably won't die. It may be the dating arena is not for them, too many mind games and lack of communication. I suggest joining one of the many social groups available, develop new friends and find interesting things to do with other people. Forget about the complex world of dating and all that pressure to be something you aren't.
Don't be ridiculous. I never said not dating results in physical mortality. I never said that it was very important that women even date men. I said many people are lonely, and there are biological and evolutionary factors that are inconsistent with our current society and the blurring of gender roles. Women don't have to date men, they date each other, or get a bunch of cats and a vibrator and call it a day. I have no judgement, because it will not change my life. What I said, were some of the things that women commonly do that turn men off according to nearly every man I've spoken to.
What is really telling is that you presume that pleasing a man means a woman has to sacrifice herself. Nobody wants to be with a sacrificial lamb. This leap of presumption that you take says much more about what you feel about yourself than it does about what I think women should or should not do.
Manage your emotions on your own time.
What does "deadly" mean to you?
I refer you to the dictionary:
Full Definition of DEADLY
See #4, now are we done with this silliness.
1: likely to cause or capable of producing death
a : aiming to kill or destroy : implacable
b : highly effective
c : unerring
d : marked by determination or extreme seriousness
a : tending to deprive of force or vitality
b : suggestive of death especially in dullness or lack of animation
4: very great : extreme
P.S. you might want to write your creative writing teacher and ask for some of your parents' money back.
Married 22 years and maintain a few affairs. Husbands and men who are involved seriously with women want to feel loved and appreciated. Men want to take care and love their wives. But some women just wont give control of that part of the relationship to their men. The men that I see are married and LOVE their wives. They want to be the protector and the provider, but their wives are too busy trying to be everything to everybody.
Ladies, give up some control to your husbands, let them do for you!
Few men would have the courage to be that honest with women, because as you see, when you confront some women with facts that are not emotionally palatable....they stop listening and start infusing their personal issues into the conversation, but that just how the brain works. My point is, this is what men are feeling. That has to be negotiated between men and women.
I think the problem is similar to a dog that has been on a chain for a long time. When he or she is released, they run around in circles and all over the place because they are so glad to be free. Women overly compensate for having been reminded to being sex objects by abandoning the basics of their sexuality. Yes, a lot of women can change a tire, but if makes your man feel good to do it, then let him. It's funny because it never the women in the vanguard that cannot understand this, it's always the women in mid and rear-guard who mistakenly think allowing a man to take care of them in some way, or taking care of a man in someway, diminishes their worth, when it is their mindset that diminishes them.
Everyone wants to be loved and needed. It is a biological imperative for men to want to be the protector and to be relied upon. And that does not diminish a woman's role AT ALL.
Understanding who we are does not mean we cannot expand the definition, reinvent it or adjust it, but it is the ultimate conceit to think that a political faction can over write the mandates of evolution, which are not all about making women inferior to men, but jointly making them a viable unit. That is where the "so called feminist" who are really suffering from misandry (man hating). What man, regardless of his sexual orientation could hate women, we all had mothers, most of us had sisters, and many daughters and grand daughters. Funny cause Roseanne Barr favorited my tweet of this post.. and she is one of the most scrutinizing feminists I know. I ASSURE you, had there been anything sexist in here, she would NOT have favorited it. And I would have heard about it.
Nonsense. You do not love your wife as you are cheating on her. Your advice about how to have a good marriage when your own is a lie is therefore laughable.
As for the article itself, I saw little to argue with there.
I am happy that you took no exception to article... and because the string is so long... I just want to reiterate the marriage you are talking about was the reader who commented, NOT MY MARRIAGE... cause both my husband and I pride ourselves on being monogamous. While I personally, would tend to agree with you that if a person is cheating on his or her wife there are issues, the flip side of that is, some marriages allow for that. If his wife is fine with it, then it is not cheating. Not for anyone to judge but the two people in that marriage... He just said he had affairs. To some people that is fine, in which case if he and his spouse are in that group, then he's not cheating. Anyway, have a splendid day. Namaste.
So let's see:
* If Dr Gordon writes an article about what men can try to better please women in bed, he's a man-hating feminist.
* If he writes an article about what women can try to better please men in bed, it's pointless anyway because women are just evil man-hating feminists.
* But then if he writes an article about what women can try to better please men in general, then he's ALSO a woman-hating anti-feminist!
Conclusion: there are FAR too many people out there, both men and women, who have major issues with their own sex and the opposite sex, and who most definitely have NO idea what the word "feminist" actually means.
Well-done, Dr G., well-done :) !
Thank you so much taking time to point this out. I knew this would anger those who believe that because they are females and they are angry that makes this feminist. However, I am scientist, and the stuff I pointed out was just scientifically based stuff. Unfortunately, some people believe "It is real because I feel it." Whenever you are delivering unsettling truths, it gets ugly. I guess now I have go and write the male response.... lock down the hatches! Namaste. Thanks again!
"Unfortunately, some people believe "It is real because I feel it.""
Hmm... You've explained again and again how our brain doesn't care for what IS; it just cares for what WORKS for it, for what brings it whatever reward it's after. So it seems to me that yeah, it's definitely gonna make us "feel" like that "stuff that works for it" is The Ultimate Truthy Truth of Really Real Realness, no?
"Whenever you are delivering unsettling truths, it gets ugly."
I don't think I've ever come accross a truth that wasn't unsettling to a more or less large and/or influential group of people.
"Sho nuff!" Still we have not choice but say what we think and let the comments fall where they do. Namaste
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Billi Gordon, Ph.D., is Chair of the Advisory Committee for Collective Concerns in Medicine, David Geffen School of Medicine at UCLA.
Who says marriage is where desire goes to die?