I've been travelling a lot these days. Two months ago I was in Northern Canada, then Colombia and now Australia. All over the globe, I get to meet the most fascinating children and their parents. Lately, I've been thinking, there are lots of things we all have in common when it comes to helping children grow up well. Here's ten tips I've recently heard from families all around the world:
1. Relationships: Help kids make a strong connection with at least one caring adult or role model, other than a parent.
2. Control: There are lots of important decisions a child can make at every stage of his development. Encourage your child to make decisions that he can make, and experience the consequences without your interference.
3. Expectations: Expect your child to do her best, whatever that best is. Never let the child forget that there are people who care deeply about how well she does.
4. Identity: Find opportunities for your child to show others what makes him unique. Show your child how to take genuine compliments for his achievements with grace.
5. Safety & Support: No matter how chaotic your child's life gets, remember that young people cope best when they feel safe, secure and certain about their next meal. Take advantage of dinner time to connect with your child and share something important with her about your life. Then ask her to share something important about hers with you.
6. Contribution: Help your child find ways to make a contribution to his community. Volunteer activities help you a child see himself as competent, while gathering around your child peers and adults who will see him as someone special.
7. Belonging: Help a child to feel loved and appreciated for being part of your family. Have a family pet? Make it the child's responsibility to see that it gets fed and groomed. If the child is old enough to use the stove, let her cook dinner once a week. She can even help take care of a younger sibling. Being an active member of a family will bring a child a sense of belonging.
8. Culture: Does your child know where his grandparents come from? How about his great-great-great grandparents? Help your child find out about his family's cultural roots. Help your child develop a sense of pride in where he comes from. Encourage a child to bring a favorite family food to the next school class party; do something traditional for a birthday celebration; or invite friends to a cultural event.
9. Acceptance: There are few things children crave more than acceptance. We all have successful moments in our lives, and we all have faults. Encourage your child to not be too hard on herself when she feels like a failure. Help your child find ways to improve. Remind her that everyone is a unique person, and that is what his or her friends and family love about her.
10. Social Justice: Show your child how to stand up for his rights. If there is a battle your child can fight for himself, coach him on how to argue respectfully for his rights so that he's heard.