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Resilience
10 Methods to Use When Returning to Normal: Part One
How to regain a sense of normality.
Posted June 29, 2009
How does one go from overdrive to baseline without losing his or her sanity?
I decided that I would willingly be the test subject for this little study-okay, willingly may be too passive a word; forced, perhaps?
When working on many different projects in a variety of roles, my life sometimes feels like a circus. Day blurs into night and sleep can become a rare treat.
(Disclaimer: I don't recommend this to anyone.)
The question becomes after being in "overdrive" for a while, how do we return to "normal?" Normal is obviously quite subjective, but regardless of how we define it, I have learned that I typically utilize 10 methods to recalibrate my life and regain a sense of normality.
Rather than overwhelm you with all 10 methods in my very first post on Psychology Today, I will discuss 5 methods in Part One and 5 methods in Part Two. So without further ado, let's get going!
(1) Establish a Transition Mode
A violin cannot play a sweet note unless the strings are under pressure. But if you put too much pressure on the strings, they snap. So do we. When the violin is not being used, you release the tension on the strings. We, too, need periods of relaxation to recover and renew.
- Tanya Wheway
Think of transitioning as moving from one house to another. It doesn't happen without an investment. You need to pack things into boxes, create lots of labels, and often move into a temporary home before your final location. On the arrival end, you then need to unpack boxes and peel off those labels before you can finally settle into that new home. Similarly, when working at 100% effectiveness (i.e., overdrive), regaining a sense of normality isn't something that happens simply by waking up the next morning. You'll need to be kind to yourself and realize that you may not be up to your normal workout routine or your typical night out adventures. In fact, you may find that you'll need to mentally unplug, sit on the couch, and watch TV for 8 hours straight-to each his or her own. That doesn't mean you are a slacker!
Realizing that this "transition mode" is actually a normal part of your routine will allow you to release the tension associated with the conflict that exists between "what I should be doing" and "what I really need to be doing." It's likely that you'll need to establish more "you" time to return to your baseline. Schedule this time on your calendar so that you can negate the tension before it has time to build upon you. This may feel uncomfortable, so plan ahead to be good to yourself.
Take Action:
--> Schedule a Plan-Free Day
(2) Focus your Energy on a Passion
The more I give myself permission to live in the moment and enjoy it without feeling guilty or judgmental about any other time, the better I feel about the quality of my work.
- Wayne Dyer
Typically, it's easier to expend energy when it feels like we're not doing anything at all. You may be passionate about knitting, so spending some extra time doing that will actually help you to regain energy, which is much more positive than trying to force yourself to do something that feels like pulling teeth. Just because something feels "easy," that doesn't mean you're being lazy. I know what it feels like to be doing something you're passionate about and to feel like you're not doing anything at all, like you're wasting precious time. But in reality, you're giving yourself a wonderful gift.
I love to write and read blogs. When I need "down time," I engage in these activities. I have become more aware of the automatic thoughts that accompany down time and find myself better prepared to combat them as a result. Just becoming aware of what you're saying to yourself is helpful and can decrease the energy otherwise wasted on negative cognition.
Take Action:
--> Discover Something New
(3) Motivate Yourself
Whatever we learn to do, we learn by actually doing it; men come to be builders, for instance, by building and harp players by playing the harp. In the same way, by doing just acts we come to be just: By doing self-controlled acts, we come to be self-controlled; and by doing brave acts, we become brave.
- Aristotle
Notice that I used the word "yourself" above. Don't ask for the world to motivate you-you would be leaving far too much to chance in that case. Instead, be prepared to motivate yourself. Understand what keeps you focused and positive. Know how to "reward" yourself. The word "reward" is used quite commonly, yet it is not a common act. Today, redefine what reward means to you. What will enable you to regain the light within-to create a sense of tranquility-to balance the turbulence that often is out of your hands? Notice that spark of energy when doing something and create a personal treasury you can turn to when you need to motivate yourself (e.g., quotes you can read, movies you can watch, songs you can listen to). When you feel the least motivated to move forward, these personal sources of motivation are typically one of the few channels that will guide you in the right direction.
Take Action:
--> Own Your Dreams
(4) Assess from 30,000 Feet
Every now and then go away, have a little relaxation, for when you come back to your work your judgment will be surer. Go some distance away because then the work appears smaller and more of it can be taken in at a glance and a lack of harmony and proportion is more readily seen.
- Leonardo Da Vinci
Look at your life from 30,000 feet-like the images you see from outside an airplane window. Look at the big picture to regain a sense of what "normal" tends to feel like for you. Use this tool to help you regain your sense of balance. It serves as a compass to help you see, create, see again, create again, and so on. It's a back and forth movement from which you work on the ground floor and then take a moment to utilize a bird's-eye view. Sometimes reestablishing your normal scheme is more difficult than just taking a few days off. As a result, utilizing this big picture can become very helpful.
Take Action:
--> Sit Still
(5) Be Positive
Write injuries in dust, benefits in marble.
- Benjamin Franklin
All of these methods relate to one common theme: being positive. It is much easier to allow your mood to descend into a downward spiral than to watch it like a hawk and try to focus on the positives. After all, it takes energy. Therefore, realizing that your energy is well spent on this very activity is critical. We often don't even recognize this as something that requires an expenditure of energy. But it needs so much focus that when you feel burned out but haven't delegated energy to this task, you will have much more cleanup to do in order to return to normal than if you had focused all along on maintaining a positive attitude and moving forward. By recognizing even the smallest glimmers of hope and silver linings, you'll be able to push through tough times and persevere much more effortlessly than if you feel like everything is just plain awful.
Take Action:
--> Look on the Bright Side
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What method(s) do you use to return to "normal?" How do you regain a sense of calm?
