Next to Kin

Aunts, uncles, cousins, and other notable kin

by Robert M. Milardo, Ph.D.

Favoring Fun in Our Relationships

Whether we are listening to the voices of aunts, uncles, nieces or nephews, having fun is an important ingredient in their relationships. Read More

The Intimacy of Brief Communication

I visit with my 16-year old niece, Cindy, about once every six weeks, but we email each other weekly. E-mail has changed our relationship....It's opened things up. Read More

Divorce Talk

Aunts and uncles provided support for nieces and nephews as they struggled to understand their parent's divorces. In some cases the divorces of parents (siblings of aunts and uncles), or the threat of divorce, had a chilling effect on the relationships of aunts and uncles with their nieces and nephews. Read More

Childless Aunts and Uncles

Margaret is a 50-year-old administrative assistant, married and childless. She has four sisters with whom she speaks several times per week. They visit often and because of the number of children in their respective families they have monthly birthday parties as a matter of routine. She says, "I am probably as close to my sisters as I am to my husband." Read More

Aunts and Uncles Provide Enriching Experiences

Aunts and uncles provide enrichment experiences that supplement the activities, interests, and skills of parents, or at times complement them. This complementarity is demonstrated in the ways aunts and uncles provide enrichment opportunities including visits to libraries, concerts, museums, sporting events, outdoor activities, or in short any activity that complements what parents ordinar Read More

Aunting & Uncling Essentials: Third-party Perspectives

Benny lives in Wellington, New Zealand and was among the first uncles I interviewed. He is a successful professional and clearly quite a busy fellow. Nonetheless he was eager to speak about his nephew who at the time was 21. We met in his downtown office at his request. Read More

Celebrating the Other Fathers

Raymond, age 26, describes a unique relationship with his uncle. Raymond's parents divorced when he was 2 and he speaks of his current relationship with his dad as "like two adults sitting in a bar talking about the weather." Throughout Raymond's life, his uncle has been an important source of support and companionship. Read More

Aunting & Uncling Essentials: Supplemental Parenting

Aunt Denise was 41 when I first interviewed her. She has twin nieces and visits with them weekly or more often. She speaks of her nieces, and her siblings for that matter, with great fondness. When her nieces were young, she often provided additional care, especially when they were infants, simply because their parents were exhausted. Read More

Uncovering Family: Aunts & Uncles

I was raised in a typical Italian-American family. It was large and sociable. Family gatherings were frequent, offered occasions for parents to visit, children to play, and always centered on food and talk. Our home was near town and within a short drive were the homes of my parent's seven sisters and five brothers. Read More

Robert M. Milardo, Ph.D., is Professor of Family Relations at the University of Maine.

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About Next to Kin

Although much is written about families, the focus is typically limited to marriage and parenting. Here we'll explore how aunts and uncles contribute to the daily lives of parents and their children. Aunts and uncles complement the work of parents, act as second parents, and sometimes form entirely unique brands of friendship. Next to Kin examines the features of families that encourage closeness, how aunts and uncles go about mentoring children, and how adults are mentored by the very children for whom they are responsible.