Studies show that stepmothers are much more likely to be demonized by the children than stepfathers. Why would this be the case? This is because husbands often expect their new wives to establish order in the household and this can be resented by the children. As researcher Mavis Hetherington writes in For Better or Worse; Divorce Reconsidered, "Stepmothers are expected to be nurturers to already difficult and suspicious children...In our most contentious stepfamilies, a real demonizing of the stepmother often occurred. Stepfathers rarely encountered this kind of vitriol.... Stepmothers had been able to build up the least closeness and goodwill with their stepchildren with less than 20% of young adults saying they felt close to their stepmothers."

In addition, stepmothers are more likely than stepfathers to feel depressed by the stepparenting experience. This is likely for the same reason that mothers feel more stressed in any marriage; they're typically more worried, guilty, and involved in the lives of those around them. For example, a stepmother will be more stressed if she believes her new husband is neglecting his children, especially if she doesn't have the permission from the child or the father to parent. She may be caught in a no-win with all of the guilt and none of the gratification. In many cases, it may mean that she'll do all of the work, but receive none of the gratitude. In addition, the stepchildren may feel guilty towards their biological mothers for accepting the parenting and so resist the efforts o the stepmother toward their care