Let's start with the first one as I share some of my experience. I went into a two-month inpatient facility solely for an eating disorder. I'd never drank alcohol, smoked, used drugs, or had sex; in essence, there seemed to be only one area that was a problem. 

But before I entered rehab, I used to steal constantly - food, clothes, anything I could fit in my purse. I probably stole almost every day. I used to consider it just shoplifting, but the truth is, it was theft. That problem was the last thing I considered telling my therapist while in treatment. I knew if I told her, I'd have to tell my parents and I was completely opposed to that. Yes, they knew I had an eating disorder, but I could categorize that as an "issue"; stealing was criminal activity.

 

Thing was, I started feeling that if I didn't tell, I was setting myself up to relapse. Because I had initially begun shoplifting to increase destructive eating patterns, stealing and my eating disorder were intertwined. My need to always have more led me to compulsively steal and also led me to compulsively overeat and try to hide those behaviors. I feared that if I didn't admit it, I'd quickly go back to shoplifting and my eating disorder. So, although I really didn't want to, I told my therapist and then also told my family. My reluctant openness ultimately helped me stay in recovery.

 

Getting rid of the stolen goods was even part of my official relapse prevention plan. I hated giving or throwing away the stuff I'd stolen. It seemed that I ended up having to get rid of a third of my possessions. But it needed to be done to stay on the path of recovery.

 

That brings me to my second point - willingness. When I left rehab, I stuck to my meal plan, commenced going to support group meetings, found a new therapist, and did a number of other things to help transition to a smooth outpatient recovery. I also changed my shopping habits. If I'd go clothes shopping, I'd have my mom come in the dressing room while I tried on everything because I knew I wouldn't steal with her in the room. If I went to a store, whether by myself or with someone else, I'd only bring in two things - my keys and a wallet. I knew that I'd constantly face not only the temptation to revert to my eating disorder behaviors, but also the temptation to steal. So just like I had my parents throw out the junk food and the scale, I made efforts to prevent myself from stealing. I had to be willing to go to any length to recover.

 

When I wasn't willing to go to any length, it became readily apparent. I don't think it's a coincidence, for instance, that a couple years later when I did steal again, I quickly relapsed. Destructive behaviors begat more destructive behaviors.

 

I know it can be difficult to remain honest and willing. I've experienced the frustration of having to recommit my honesty and willingness when I've started slipping. That's why I recommend that Lindsay fully disclose the extent of her addiction and be willing to do what it takes to recovery. She needs to openly share the demons she didn't confront in rehab. Those secrets are holding her back. Also, she needs to be fully willing to do whatever is needed to avoid relapse. Even though she isn't in rehab anymore and is looking at consequences for her recent actions, it's never too late to be honest and willing or recommit to honesty and willingness. Doing so will help her become physically, mentally, and emotionally healthy in the present and the future.