The Sad & the Glad About Depression & Suicide, part 2
As if depression weren't bad enough, the stigma associated with it can be quite intense. Here are some ways to lessen the stigma:
1. You Are Not Alone
Perhaps you don't personally know anyone who deals with depression. However, there could very well be people—talking with you, walking by you, standing near you—who are struggling with it as well.
Sometimes, when you're suffering silently, you convince yourself that you're in this all alone and others can't understand. This condition is sometimes known as being "terminally unique". Well, no one has this part of my depression. I'm more pathetic than other depressed people because of that. The fact is, though, that there are countless other people experiencing very similar things.
- About 17% of Americans will face major depressive disorder in their lives. That's more than 1 in 6 (JAMA).
- Major depression affects 15 million adults in a given year (NAMI).
Despite the numbers, though, it can be hard to connect the sobering facts of depression with your life. Okay, depression exists, you might say, but it shouldn't be my experience.
The stigma of depression can sometimes seem worse than the depression itself. You can't even deal with the actual depression because the shame and fear you experience takes over. "I'm going to deal with this depression that isn't really depression, because I can't have depression, right?"
2. Accept It
This doesn't mean that you will like your depression. It would probably be odd if you woke up one day and yelled, "Yippee, I have depression!" What this does mean, though, is that you acknowledge it's there.
How do you accept this, you ask. Let me first ask: if you have depression, but you won't acknowledge that you have it, will the depression go away? No. It's still going to be there and it will be more difficult because you'll be struggling with the depression and your denial.
Acceptance doesn't mean you're happy with it, but it can bring you freedom.
Some people find that they're not able to accept it unless they do the next step:
3. Talk About It.
"You're only as sick as your secrets." Hiding what you deal with and your struggles intensifies shame. I've experienced, with both an eating disorder and depression, that the more I speak about them, the less shame I feel. That doesn't mean I shout it wherever I go, nor am I suggesting that you do that. However, choose someone you trust, then take that big step and tell them.
Maybe you'll want to tell more people, like your close friends and family. If you're scared of their reaction, remember that people can often say disparaging things out of ignorance. They might not understand at first, but use it as an opportunity to share some information about depression and your experience. If you talk about it, they can learn from you, become educated about depression, and it can help to alter their views.
4. Seek Help.
Just as sharing your struggles with someone can help, getting assistance with your depression can help as well.
I first got help for my depression at the same time I got help for my eating disorder, and I was trepidatious. A few years later, I agreed to see a psychiatrist. The next year, I fought for a while before finally agreeing to let my psychiatrist give me a second medication. Recently, with the support of my current psychiatrist, I've drastically cut my medication intake, and it's seemed to be beneficial. I've talked with friends and family, turned it over to God, gone to support group meetings, and written about it. Each part plays an important role in my journey with depression.
I'm not advocating any particular method of help, but I do suggest trying to find something that works for you.
5. Help Others with Similar Difficulties
Provide help to someone else struggling with depression. Sometimes that is the best way to accept your own depression. While it might be difficult to be self-compassionate, when you extend sympathy to someone else who is struggling, it can help you be kindhearted with yourself too. Perhaps you will be that one person someone talks to when they need to discuss their depression. Helping others can help you at the same time.