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If you are a midlife sibling in a” nearly normal family”, sibling rivalry http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLDQmAj2vfw can still take it’s toll.
If an aging parent care crisis looms, old sibling wounds can rip open once again. The developmental transition of an older Mom or Dad needing care can unleash a major midlife sibling crisis, even if you came from a fairly functional family.
How do you know that you and your middle aged siblings are in a nearly normal family and not Cain and Abel ?
Here are the hallmarks of the aging functional family and opposed to the aging dysfunctional family:
The family nest generally had enough love so the children were not fighting over the limited emotional resources given by the parents. Parent care was by and large nurturing and there was little abuse or neglect. If there were wounds inflicted on the children by parents, siblings, relative or anyone in the family they were not deep enough still need healing and there are few thick scars left on the now adult children, This is because, if there were emotional lacerations, they were dealt with right away by family and healed well with little residual disfigurement.
This nearly normal family successfully transitioned through the developmental stages of their lives: birth: adolescence, marriage, and the first child. All transitions were generally well maneuvered by the entire family.
However, the last transition, the need for care of the aging parent or the filial crisis, throws them off balance and they do have great difficulty navigating this developmental phase.
Siblings in the nearly normal aging family had standard childhood rivalry and can still be at war over wounds from sisters and brothers. The norms in sibling rivalry, like boys competing with boys usually spurred on by the parents occurred and may distance the siblings yet in midlife. The standard of the oldest child taking charge and at times bullying the younger children have occurred. This can spur on sibling rivalry in the mid life present.
The youngest child in the aging family, who generally is deemed the favorite by most mothers, still engenders the ire of the other children causing midlife sibling rivalry. There usually is a favorite child, either the youngest, the first born or a child picked by the parent and that child in midlife can be harassed and resented still by the midlife adult children. Step siblings in the main have many wounds, brought on by divorce and this creates one of the greatest challenges in mid life siblings.
All these sibling rivalries can cause parent care issues in the nearly normal family but generally the nearly normal family can rebalance itself and move forward through the mid life -often through forgiveness http://www.newhorizonpressbooks.com/new/momlovesyoubest.php
