Siblings problems big media this week at NPR’s http://www.npr.org/series/131441422/sibling-stories.
NPR ‘s Morning Edition Thanksgiving week series spotlights siblings and asks what role did your sibling play in your life- bully oldest , youngest, boy protector . In my book Mom Loves You Best Forgiving and Forging Sibling Relationships, http://www.newhorizonpressbooks.com/new/momlovesyoubest.php , I show how family feuds and sibling misery can be rooted is the role you played in your family.
Sibling roles can take the -family fabric twist and tear it and maybe leading to a long held sibling “I Hate You” story.
In any play or drama, there are always standard roles like a leading man, a heroine, a villain, and a minor character or two. Families can have central casting as well. Parents usually assign roles to family members. These roles include the oldest, who can be a bully or sometimes the child with the most responsibility. There is the classic role of the youngest, who is the baby and often the favorite. Because gender is often the elephant in the family living room, the boy can often be the most valued. The parents’ favored sibling could be the oldest, the smartest, most educated, or even the most challenged brother or sister.
Families have patterns, much like a piece of fabric. These threads are sometimes a map of the family genome. Roles can be a GPS to help us decipher these filial directions. The role of the youngest is seen in Max in Where The Wild Things Are. In the 2009 ,movie version http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Where_the_Wild_Things_Are_ )Max morphed into a “wild thing” when his older sister stopped playing with him and joined her adolescent friends in a quest to be “popular.” So role can have negative consequences, like those that beset the rejected youngest sibling Max.
In families parents are the directors, who not only create sibling roles but write the scripts for them. Cinderella’s clueless father who created her role as the miserable floor scrubbing step sibling
Yet roles in families are necessary. They act as a dike, keeping domestic torrents from sweeping away the family nest. The role of the oldest who cares for the youngest kept the Todd family barely above the high water marker. If a mom has several teenage daughters and one teen son, she might demand that the boy keep an eye out for the girls at the school dance. If a parent notes that one child is highly organized, he might have that kid take on the role of family enforcer and take charge of making all lunches or making sure the other kids do their chores while he is at work.
I help siblings roles in my You Tube series Mom Loves You Best . http://www.youtube.com/user/Momlovesyoubest Watch the series and have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your family.
