Mining the Headlines

Incest: Power, not sex

Deborah King — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 18:35:36 +0000

Papa John Phillips, of the iconic 60s band The Mamas and the Papas, liked to see himself as a man with no boundaries. Taboos, like incest, were meaningless to someone who considered himself a god, a power tripper fueled by ego and massive quantities of drugs. And his daughter Mackenzie was his victim, as she discloses in her recent book, High on Arrival.

I have also written about incest with my father in my book, Truth Heals: What You Hide Can Hurt You. (Hay House 2009) I have been very interested in watching Mackenzie's appearances on television shows, and I've been puzzled at how she's been treated in her interviews. Some interviewers have seemed to imply that the incest was her fault or that she was lying about it. And I find it rather hard to forgive Whoopi for saying it wasn't really "rape rape."

I know there are many parts of Mackenzie's story that make it difficult for others to understand the depth of her bravery in speaking out. For one, she initially labeled the "relationship" with her father as "consensual." What Mackenzie has been learning from other survivors is that incest is never consensual, and she has learned to call it what it is: abuse. Yet there are so many confusing aspects to incest that it's easy to see why she resorted to thinking about it that way, and why interviewers don't quite know how to handle the story.

Let me try to explain (using father-daughter incest, although boys are sometimes victims too). When children are abused, they are completely disempowered (although the word "disempowered" doesn't begin to convey the reality). You have no power center of your own; it's been replaced by the parent's. You become an object, a puppet whose strings are tightly controlled. I know I would have done anything my father wanted.

The annihilation of self-power explains why a woman in her 20s or 30s or even 40s can still be doing what the abuser wants. There was the "Essex Fritzl" in England, who was jailed for having sex with his daughter for more than 30 years. (He was named after the Austrian Joseph Fritzl, who locked up his daughter in a basement for decades and fathered seven children with her). "Essex Fritzl" began to abuse his daughter when she was 7 years old and the abuse went on until she was 40, when she finally confided to a friend who urged her to go to the police. She wasn't kept under lock and key, so why did the incest go on for so long?

In Australia, a woman in her 40s got brave enough to go to police about her virtual imprisonment by her father for three decades, bearing four children to him. In an interview in the Australian, a former neighbor said: "When I said to her, 'Do you want to go to the bingo?', [she said] 'Oh no, Dad won't let me'. I thought, 'Dad won't let you?' And you're in your 30s? It didn't make sense to me."

It makes sense to me. The psychological imprisonment of incest is as real as the locked basement. My father started molesting me when I was two, raped me when I was nine, and continued to do so until I was thirteen. I spent my teens and early twenties acting out the memories with drugs and alcohol and promiscuity, followed by years and years of 12-step programs, therapy, meditation, and a loving husband to clear out the physical and emotional damage from the incest.

Like Mackenzie, I thought I'd be free when my father died. Instead, like her, his death hit me like an earthquake-the world turned upside down. Daddy completely owned my sense of self, like Papa John owned Mackenzie. I had already quit drinking and was meditating, which is why I made it through the ordeal without relapsing, but at first it felt like I had died myself.

Another aspect of incest that is rarely talked about because it is so confusing is the way the pleasure principle can be activated in someone who is being sexually abused. The human body is designed to respond to sexual stimulation, even when accompanied by terror and physical danger. Very young children are sensual/sexual beings, and don't realize the sex is a violation. At a deeper level, though, they sense something is wrong because they've been warned, "Don't tell." They also pick up on the adult's guilt and shame, and make it their own. In my own case, I remember certain erotic memories, accompanied by my inner voice screaming, "Daddy, don't hurt me." A very complicated stew indeed.

Adults like Mackenzie, who was 19 and already sexually awake, will also respond with a mixture of horror and sexual responsiveness. This leaves the victim with guilt and shame and massive confusion, and the feeling of being "dirty." Does my sexual response mean that I enjoyed it? Does it mean it's okay? No, it's not okay. The body just responded automatically. Whether you're nine or nineteen, you have been overpowered by the principle authority in your life.

So yes, Mackenzie at first saw what happened to her as both a rape and romance. It was the little girl delighting in her daddy's attention, as well as violence and a betrayal of trust and innocence. I'm glad that Mackenzie has taken such an important step in her recovery by writing her book and speaking up publicly about the incest. It has already helped others to bring forth the secret shame of their lives and get on with their healing.

Women Alcoholics: Masters of Deception

Deborah King — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 17:50:09 +0000

No matter how much Daniel Schuler denies on "Larry King Live" that his wife was drunk on that fateful day in July, there was that damnable busted bottle of Absolut vodka in the crushed metal of Diane Schuler's minivan. Had that 1.7 liters snuck up and beckoned her on that weekend morning, whispering drink me, then sip some more in the car as you listen to the radio? Drink 10 shots worth and nothing will bother you on the ride home with all those kids in the car. If you need a little something more, toke on some pot at the rest stop. Aah, isn't that better? Of course you're all right to drive. You're in control. You're not an alcoholic in the grips of an addiction. You don't need it; you just want to take the edge off. You're fine now, feeling no pain, no stress.

The inner voice of the alcoholic is a running monologue of excuses, a compendium of denial, a master of deception. I just have to get through this rough patch in my marriage. It's a tough time at work, with all these deadlines approaching. My kids are driving me crazy. Oh, I'll just have a little sip...wouldn't get a fly high.

Women are especially good at keeping up a good front-of appearing to be the perfect mother, perfect wife, perfect worker. Make no waves, attract no undue attention. And heavens, never let anyone see you tipsy! It's so unlady-like, so common, so trashy. A glass of wine at dinner, a toast to the bride and groom, a Manhattan at a cocktail party-that's fine, but it's totally verboten to show intoxication. Who me, too much to drink? No, I just took some medication for my back pain. It must be my hypoglycemia acting up; I just need something to eat.
So have a few before the party, keep a bottle in the laundry basket (and another under the seat of the car), have a "pick me up" in your coffee cup at work before heading home-there are a thousand ways to slip in a quick nip, to down another before anyone sees you.

It's certainly possible that Diane's husband didn't know how much or how often she was drinking. Then again, with his own arrest for DUI, they were probably joined at the hip in mutual denial. His denial is prodigious. He is having Diane's body exhumed to prove that she wasn't drunk at the time of the accident. Good luck with that.

And then there was his refusal to discuss the marijuana (possibly because they had shared that joint?). But if Daniel was ever drunk in front of family or friends, it would have been shrugged off. If his wife had been publicly drunk, there would have been head shaking and finger wagging. Women are judged so much more stringently than men that their guilt and shame keeps the burden of alcoholism hidden as securely as possible. Until it's no longer possible.

I hit bottom when I tried to tell a client about a settlement offer only to have him tell me I'd already shared that information with him the previous evening. I remembered none of it, and that scared me sober. Now clean and sober for over 25 years, I'm thankful for the moment my husband said, "Do you think you could be an alcoholic?"
If you suspect that you or someone in your family has this problem, what can you do? If you're the one hitting the bottle, seek help at AA, where anonymity is guaranteed. The program really does work. If it's a family member or friend, talk to them and express your concern-when they are sober. Offer them the support they will need to acknowledge and then deal with their problem.

Alcoholism may be a disease with a genetic component, but first and foremost it is an addiction. Recovery is dependent on abstaining. It takes courage to come face to face with the reality of the world, with its stress and pain and suffering, without fortification of a drink, a pill, a shopping or gambling spree. But it sure beats killing innocent children.

And the Living Ain't Easy

Deborah King — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 18:48:35 +0000

"Summertime, and the living is easy..." which George Gershwin wrote for the musical Porgy and Bess in 1935, is still the tune that comes to mind as I slip into a summertime state of mind-a gentle lullaby that is both somewhat melancholy and very comforting. Hot dogs and ice cream, air-conditioned movie theaters and hot sand at the beach, slowing down, sitting back, watching white puffy clouds roll lazily across a cerulean sky.

If only I could stay there.

Instead, I keep getting pulled back into the Michael Jackson morass-the quagmire of abuse, the swamp of addiction, the muck and mire of unbridled greed. Joe Jackson appeared on "Larry King Live" and denied ever beating Michael. Like Bill Clinton swearing he never had sex with "that woman" because they never had intercourse, Papa Joe swears he never "beat" Michael. Of course, he believes that disciplining with a switch or belt is not a "beating," which requires a stick. Certainly a fine line of distinction, meant to justify in his own mind and to the world that he was not an abusive parent.

And then there are the upcoming battles over custody of Michael Jackson's three children, the battle over his final resting place, the battle over his will. It's gonna be a long hot summer for the host of people involved in the aftermath of his death. And although Jackson fatigue is setting in for some, for many others it tops the news of the health care crusade, the economic struggle, and the actual wars.

On another celebrity-dealing-with-abuse-allegations front, Chris Brown released his so-called "apology"-a video mea culpa that struck me not as a heartfelt apology to Rihanna (the woman from whom he must now maintain a 50-yard distance for the next five years) but as an apology to his fans for goofing up and, hey, please still love me and buy my records. The two-minute video was, after all, put out by his record company.

Since I do so much work with both the victims and perpetrators of abuse, I find these celebrity examples helpful in having people understand that we do need to talk about it, bring abuse-whether physical, sexual, or emotional-out of its secret hiding places, out from behind the façade of justifications and unripe apologies, and into the open.

Right now, though, the sun is hot and some nice cold melon sounds really good.

Michael Jackson and Sexual Abuse

Deborah King — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 17:57:05 +0000

I've been asked a number of time how I can be sympathetic to Michael Jackson when he was a possible child molester.

As an expert in sexual abuse, I have long suspected that Jackson was sexually abused (along with the well-documented physical and emotional abuse he suffered). I've worked with both victims and predators, and every predator I worked with was repeating behavior that had once been done to them.

I can admire Michael Jackson's talents and gifts, and be sympathetic about his lost and difficult childhood, yet not condone behavior in him that may have been abusive to others. When I learned about the sexual abuse my father had experienced as a child, I was thankful to have an explanation for his abuse of me, although it did not in any way excuse his actions.

After watching every step of Jackson's trial, I personally thought there was evidence of guilt. However, the malicious prosecution by DA Sneddon made a fair trial impossible. So despite the evidence, I was relieved when Jackson was found not guilty. Post-trial, some jurors acknowledged that they felt Jackson had actually been guilty, but they reached their verdict based on the judge's appropriately narrow guidelines for conviction.

It's not easy to hold two contradictory feelings inside-sympathetic understanding of a situation along with a vision of wrongdoing. Michael Jackson's life was itself a study in contradiction. May he indeed rest in peace.

Michael Jackson's Broken Heart

Deborah King — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 19:16:34 +0000

As the world today tries to come to grips with the sudden passing of Michael Jackson, I've been remembering the time I was living in Santa Ynez, a couple of miles from Neverland Ranch, at the time Jackson was charged with sexual abuse. When I first began to watch the trial, I was simply curious about this singer whose music I liked and wondered if he, in fact, was a sexual predator. However, as an attorney, I was so horrified by the misconduct of the prosecutor that it was difficult to address the facts of the case.

As the trial progressed, it became clear to me that District Attorney Thomas Sneddon was prosecuting Jackson quite incorrectly for reasons of personal gain. My heart went out to Michael; it was obvious that he was being persecuted, not prosecuted. The trial was long and terribly exhausting (even for a strong person, which he was not). Michael grew weaker and weaker each day. I was jubilant when he was found not guilty, not because I believed he was innocent, but because I believed the trial was a travesty of justice. I was also glad the trial was over because I feared Michael might not physically recover.

When the trial ended, I continued to follow his career with great interest. In researching his history, I realized that the vicious physical and emotional abuse that had been his lot as a child, and the stardom thrust upon him at such a young age, had robbed him of a childhood that he desperately tried to recapture as an adult. As he sadly discovered, we can't ever turn that clock back.

The coping mechanisms he used to deal with his inner pain-with the conflict between the child who hadn't had a chance and the adult who couldn't face his reality-never worked. His self-admitted addiction to prescription drugs, which possibly started with getting burned in a fire in the late ‘80s, was certainly aggravated by the trial and by the multiple lawsuits with which he had to contend. An autopsy will undoubtedly show the drug problem to have been a contributing factor in his cardiac arrest.

There was also the lack of vitality and other problems that stem from the likely probability Jackson was an anorectic. How that bird-like physique could have pounded out 10-hour rehearsals, to be followed by a year on the road putting on the huge extravaganzas his fans relished, is hard to imagine. He certainly suffered from social isolation and withdrawal, both closely related to anorexia and depression. Who wouldn't be depressed and grieving over the loss of status as the King of Pop and being $300 million in debt? His history of multiple cosmetic surgeries also indicates he suffered from dysmorphobia, the obsessive preoccupation with body parts (the nose, for example) that are felt to be ugly or somehow abnormal. No matter how many times he looked in mirror, he never looked all right to himself.

Jackson may have known, deep down, that he couldn't really handle the rigors of the upcoming tour. He always wanted his performances to be perfect. Add in the tension of his financial situation, the damage to his reputation from the sexual abuse charges, and the extended loss of the love of the people (he said he wanted to live on stage, basking in the applause of standing ovations, and he hadn't performed in many many years), and I believe his heart was as damaged by the stress of his emotions as by the drugs.

I always wished Michael could have found some real help to banish his childhood demons and build a stronger adult self. Once again, adult dysfunction coming from childhood abuse has robbed us too soon of all that Michael Jackson was and could have been. I believe his impact on us will be even larger after his death than it was in his glittering, one-gloved life.

David Carradine: A Study in Risky Sexual Behavior

Deborah King — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 15:56:47 +0000

While the FBI investigates whether David Carradine's death was the result of foul play, it appears more likely that it was a case of auto-erotic asphyxiation (AEA). The question remains whether he acted alone or with a companion.

Carradine, best known for his role as a martial arts master raised by Shaolin monks in the mid-‘70s TV series "Kung Fu," and his more recent role in the "Kill Bill" movies, was found hanging naked in the closet of his Bangkok hotel room with ropes tied around his neck, genitals, and wrists. The circumstances suggest that the 72-year-old actor may have been involved in auto-erotic asphyxiation-a very dangerous form of sex play that temporarily cuts off the supply of oxygen to the brain, which leads to euphoria and a heightened sexual climax.

It is similar to the "choking game" played by adolescents (according to 2006 statistics, 90% were male), either in groups or alone. According to estimates by the DB Foundation (Dangerous Adolescent Behavior Education), up to 75 percent of children between the ages of 9 to 16 years old either know how to play the game, or have actually played the game themselves, yet only 25% of parents, including parents of the victims, know about it.

Over 400 deaths were reported in the U.S. over the last five years-the direct result of the "choking game." However, hundreds of incidences go unreported because the death is often misclassified as a suicide. It is said that 30% of male teen suicides (between the ages of 13-20) are not suicide at all, and that roughly 500-1000 people die each year from auto-erotic asphyxiation, an extremely dangerous masturbation practice. Self-hanging, the way Carradine was found, is the most common method used in AEA, especially in fatal cases.

What's the attraction of the "choking game" or auto-erotic asphyxiation? When the brain cells receive less oxygen, a "high" sensation is felt; when the pressure is released, there's a secondary "high" of oxygen/blood rushing to the brain. Along with the brief sense of euphoria are enhanced erotic feelings.

Carradine has a tangled history that seems to indicate both a thrill-seeking persona and deviant sexual behavior. Marina Anderson, Carradine's most recent ex-wife, once accused him of "deviant sexual behavior which was potentially deadly." She also alleged in a sworn declaration filed six years ago in Los Angeles Superior Court that Carradine engaged in an "incestuous relationship with a very close family member." She said that Carradine and the relative (who remains unnamed) admitted the relationship. Another ex-wife, Gail Jensen, said Carradine enjoyed tying himself up to turn himself on.

There is also a correlation between auto-erotic asphyxiation and suicidal tendencies. Stephen Hucker, a forensic psychiatrist and professor of Law & Mental Health Program at the University of Toronto, has said that the "hypoxyphilic" patients he has interviewed have suffered from mood and anxiety disorders, and around 60 percent of them had attempted suicide in the past. In an interview from 2004, Carradine said he had considered shooting himself. "Look, there was a period in my life when I had a single action Colt 45, loaded, in my desk drawer. And every night I'd take it out and think about blowing my head off." He also once contemplated jumping from a room at the Plaza Hotel.

Fittingly, David Carradine took that final leap into the unknown in Bangkok, a city long known for the availability of every sexual deviance known to man. I am sorry that his present wife and children have to go through this devastating experience in such a public manner, but the hope is that his example will serve as a warning to others engaged in this dangerous, and potentially deadly, sexual practice.

Patriarchy Is Alive and Well

Deborah King — Wed, 06 May 2009 22:30:01 +0000

As I watch the daily news, I see constant reminders that women are still unconsciously living out old patriarchal myths. For instance, we've all watched political wives like Hillary Clinton, Silda Spitzer, Elizabeth Edwards, and Dina McGreevey stand by their men in some very uncomfortable situations. We see celebrities like Rihanna trying to figure out whether or not to stand by her man, Chris Brown, despite the beating she took at his hands.

"Stand by your man" is not the only old myth that still impacts our lives. What about "a woman is less than a man?" Not too long ago, Oprah paid a visit to the Yearning For Zion Ranch in Eldorado, Texas, and showcased the FLDS girls, none of whom seemed to have the least problem knowing she would be married to a man who would probably be picked for her by her father, a man who would most likely have other wives. They all knew that their main purpose in life was to bear and raise children. And maybe, in the afterlife, if they were good and pure enough, they would get their heavenly reward . . . if their husband allowed it.

Our "less than" status is not just the province of fringe sects. "Biblical patriarchy" is a concept that is promoted by tens of thousands in the Christian Right movement in total opposition to the modern ideals of gender equality and marriage equity. Groups like Quiverfull are guiding women into wifely submission, constant motherhood, and a dubious "virtue." And even mainstream religions often agree with the traditional Islam saying that "A woman's heaven is beneath her husband's feet." Less than ten years ago, America's largest Protestant denomination, the Southern Baptist Convention with 16 million members, revised their statement of faith to explicitly define the pastoral office as the exclusive domain of men, and clearly set out intentions for marriage: "A wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband ..."

The great majority of us in the West carry a shared lineage, since all three of the great Western monotheistic religions - Judaism, Christianity, and Islam - trace their roots back to the patriarch Abraham/Ibrahim. It doesn't matter if we had a totally secular upbringing and have never stepped foot inside a church, temple, or mosque: that heritage is alive and well in our cellular memory, and that heritage is, for the most part, one where men rule and women obey.

Even if you think of yourself as a modern liberated woman, look at your paycheck. Do you make as much as a man would for the same work? In 1951, women made about 64 cents for every dollar earned by men. By 2007, women earned 78 cents for every dollar earned by men. Still got a ways to go just on economic equality, don't we?

Most people, when I mention that patriarchal ideals still permeate our unconscious thinking, reject the notion. Feminism changed all that, they think. But in fact we're simply not aware of how subtly these ideals are imprinted on our subconscious minds.

How about the myth that "every woman needs a man to complete her?" Most women, no matter how successful or secure, start to panic when they turn 30 or 40 and still don't have a husband. Jane Fonda said in her memoir that she didn't feel complete without a man until she was over 60 and had left "the father's house" of patriarchy when she divorced Ted Turner. Or "if you're too smart, you'll scare men off." Famed opinion columnist for The New York Times, Maureen Dowd, blamed her single life on her career success. She said she would have had better luck had she been more like her extended family of Irish maids and housekeepers.

It is our lack of awareness of the hidden beliefs that are guiding our actions that I am trying to expose.

How do you succumb to the old myths? Do you think you'll never catch a guy if you're too fat or too smart? Do you live your life based on what your husband wants or demands? Do you befriend the guys you work with and snub the girls' lunches? Do you think you did something wrong when your guy sleeps with someone else or slaps you around? Where do you buy into male supremacy? And men, do you make remarks to your friends about the "little woman" at home? Are you afraid to show your feminine side? Do you expect your woman to serve you?

Think about it.

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

Deborah King — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 20:31:58 +0000

When you're sitting at home on your couch watching Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich look straight at an interviewer and swear he did nothing wrong, do you have the urge to stand up and shout: How can you lie like that on national TV!? When O.J. Simpson was convicted and sent to jail for his Las Vegas fiasco, did you go around telling your friends how happy you were that his lies had caught up to him and justice was finally served? Are you still shaking your head in dismay at the whopper of a Ponzi scheme cooked up by Bernie Madoff?

There's a connection, however, between these public whoppers that take our breath away and the little lies we tell. Let's admit it, we all tell lies now and again. About our age, or our weight, or our sexual history. Did you ever lie to your spouse about an affair, or to your boss about why you showed up late to the meeting, or to your friend about how flattering her new hairdo or dress was? You know you did. Sometimes, we write creatively on our resumes or our taxes. People even write memoirs about events that never happened.

If we're all lying to one degree or another, why are we surprised by the CEOs or politicians or criminals who are caught telling the really big ones?

The truth is that we're all connected. Consciousness is shared. If many of us are lying, even in small and supposedly harmless ways, that is the consciousness "soup" we are swimming in. Unlike our four-legged friends who don't have a drop of deceit in their make-up, we humans excel at fabrications. On the other hand, because we are all connected and consciousness is shared, when a new paradigm presents itself-like the concept of transparency (read: no more lies) as promoted by the new administration-that too can spread. It's the hundredth monkey thing.

What could a resurgence of truth bring our way?

For one thing, it could turn our attention to where it needs to be: taking responsibility for our lies-the important lies, the ones we tell ourselves! We lie to ourselves all the time. We may believe we had a happy childhood, when in fact we simply buried or forgot or denied the abuse we suffered. We may not have grieved over a loss, and later get diagnosed with breast cancer. Our tendency to road rage might be the lie that covers up the pain of our divorce.

When we are hurt, when we are not loved, when we are rejected, those feelings stay in our bodies unless we have fully expressed and released those painful emotions. When we learn to do the work of acknowledging our personal truth, we can heal many of our problems in life: we can get healthier, have better relationships, get out of debt, and even lose weight. We'd all be a lot happier as well!

So let's stop shouting at the liars on TV and look inside. Who knows? If we can stop lying to ourselves, we can create a consciousness of truth that will touch us all.

Slow Down

Deborah King — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 17:43:46 +0000

Remember that old Simon & Garfunkel tune-the "59th Street Bridge Song?" It starts off with "Slow down, you move too fast." It kicks down the cobble stones, says hi to lampposts, and watches the flowers growing. And ends with "Life, I love you, All is groovy."

When was the last time you were in love with life, moving slow enough to enjoy the flowers growing? These days, time is skyrocketing along. Zip-your email goes out and you're annoyed when it takes more than a moment to arrive at its destination, which could be four time zones away. Gee, maybe you should have IM'd that person. We're living in Instant Message mentality-never more than a moment away from communication with more people we have to talk to, more work to be done, more meetings to attend, more kids to pick up from their heavily scheduled activities.

We are all Masters of Multitasking, busily doing at least three things at once. Cooking dinner while talking on the phone about the latest political/financial uproar we're watching on the news. Our minds are filled to the brim, overflowing with stuff. How many points did the stock market fall today? What's wrong with my email program? Does my child have an eating disorder? What if I get fired, downsized? Is my bank safe? Will terrorists attack again? Will my guy win the election? When's my next appointment with my therapist/doctor/acupuncturist? Do I have time to get to the gym this week?

Whatever happened to the leisurely stroll after dinner? You know, the one that didn't involve heart monitors or pedometers or the sensor you slip into your running shoes that connects wirelessly to your iPod so you can track your calories burned, miles run, and all that other information you so vitally need. The kind of walk that didn't necessitate a cell phone or wasn't isolated in whatever world you tune into through your headphones.

If you want to be a real radical today, or just get a little saner, you have to unplug occasionally. Push away from the computer and try taking a walk-minus your cell phone, iPod, or monitoring equipment. Just you and your feet (and the key so you can get back in). Walk for the enjoyment of feeling your feet connect to the earth (it's there, even under concrete). Imagine pulling your energy down from your head, away from all those troublesome thoughts, down your body, and through your feet, sending it deep down into the earth. If possible, walk barefoot on a beach or somewhere in nature. If you're in a city, walk through a park, or just notice clouds in the sky, feel the sun or wind on your face, listen to the birds. When you find yourself lost in your thoughts, stuck in your head, connect again to your feet as they touch the earth.

Slowing down is vital in this fast-paced world-vital for our health and basic sanity. See what happens when you say hi to lampposts and watch the flowers growing. I'll bet you'll love life . . . and even feel a little groovy.

Sarah as "Psychopath"?

Deborah King — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 17:51:26 +0000

Sarah Palin is a classic “psychopath” as defined by Lowen psychodynamics, a system that analyzes the inner forces that affect behavior. This is NOT the same as the psychiatric definition of psychopath as a person suffering from “a chronic mental disorder with abnormal or violent social behavior.” In the mid-1930s, Alexander Lowen, MD, (who studied Freud with Wilhelm Reich) designed a system of psychodynamics that defined five consistent behavior patterns. Psychodynamics, for those not familiar with this branch of psychology, deals with the interrelation of the unconscious and conscious mental and emotional forces that determine personality and motivation.

Lowen characterized psychopaths as seeing life in black and white, with their internal motto being “kill or be killed.” They see the world as attacking them, so they meet life in an aggressive manner, always fighting for what they believe is “right.” In psychopaths, the energy field is strongly focused in the throat, so they make great actors, singers, lawyers, and performers. They are apt to be charismatic communicators who seek and enjoy positions of power. They are usually attractive, commanding, and confident.

Apply this description to the little we know about Sarah Palin. In her speech at the Republican National Convention last week, she was full of spunk and vigor, sure of herself, smiling through her attacks on her opponents. She’s a warrior—afraid of nothing. After all, this is a woman who doesn’t hesitate to tackle a demanding job while raising five kids, including a newborn. A woman who has killed the meat she eats. A woman unafraid of firing anyone who crosses her in some way.

However, with this type of personality, all that outward bravado is frequently masking a deep sense of distrust and insecurity. Psychopaths go to great lengths to hide their feelings of weakness and fear. The last thing they want is to appear vulnerable on the battleground—and life is always a battleground to them. Question their authority or “truth” in any way and beware: they attack wildly; the barracuda comes out!

The psychopath is willing to sacrifice greatly on the personal level. With an uncommonly strong will power, they can work long hours, go back to work mere days after giving birth, juggle many balls in the air at once. They know they are “good” while others are “bad,” “right” while others are “wrong.” Since they are very willing to fight for what is “right,” they are always the aggressor and blame everything on the “other.” Secretly, they are afraid that if they lose, it means they are “bad.” They are usually healthy and work cheerfully and hard . . . until they collapse.

We can speculate that Sarah, like other psychopaths, likely mastered this defense in childhood in response to situations that caused a lot of fear. Even in childhood, winning at all costs would have been very important to her, as it would have been her way of making daddy proud. A psychopath is always trying to please the parent of the opposite sex. Here’s the girl who went moose hunting at dawn with her dad before school, the high schooler who, even with an ankle stress fracture, made the critical free throw in the last seconds of the basketball game, the girl who went on to please the judges and win beauty pageants. And who later won elections.

Betrayal on any level is what a psychopath fears most. They are unable to experience or trust the goodness of others. They are afraid that even their closest friends will betray them, and they tend to pick spouses that let them run the show. The psychopath doesn’t really trust anyone, and desperately has to be in control. It is fear of losing control that wants to ban books. It is fear that needs to stand behind a gun. It is fear that make pro-choice so threatening.

When life is a battleground, the enemy is always out there to “kill or be killed.” Psychopaths can be great warriors in the causes they believe in, but presidents or vice presidents can’t be effective leaders if everyone is ultimately the enemy. Running a country requires a different set of skills: teamwork and cooperation, where many are decent and a lot of people are right, not just the leader. Sarah Palin seems to be an unlikely choice to have a heartbeat away from the oval office.