Can a child star grow up to have a balanced life? Read More
I really appreciate the level of compassion Deborah offers Miley in this blog. I can't begin to understand the challenges Miley faces and while I was certainly turned off by her performance, my heart expands for her during this time of obviously tough transition. I think her father's words were beautiful and I hope he truly offers her that compassion and unconditional loving behind closed doors. All teens need grace and space and unconditional love.
Most articles I've come across on this event make little or no mention of the 36 year-old man that walked up behind her and pressed his pelvis into her 20-year old bottom. Apparently that is normal in our culture though... Boys will be boys, and girls will be sugar and spice or else be slut-shamed.
While I disapprove of Thicke's performance, I can also see why there isn't much discussion about him, and I don't think it's necessarily because "boys will be boys, and girls will be sugar and spice".
The fact is that Miley's performance drew attention away from other aspects of that performance. If Thicke had also stripped down to nothing but skin-colored underwear and did the same thing, then there would surely be more of a discussion about him.
There's also the matter that Robin Thicke's not thought of as a former sweet and innocent childhood star. This is the same reason why there's less outrage about Lady Gaga's performance on that same evening. People can't really remember a more innocent time in those performers' lives. By contrast, look at Justin Bieber. Bieber's fame ballooned when he was still a (supposedly) "sweet, innocent" young boy from a small, friendly town. While I haven't yet seen him perform any particularly lewd acts on stage, he has drawn quite a bit of criticism (outside the young, teen girl demographic) in recent months for inappropriate behaviors outside his performances. From what I hear, those critics are not writing off this behavior as "boys will be boys".
Thank you for this compassionate take on Miley's behavior. Great tips on how to handle the stress life brings without going over-the-top. I look forward to reading your new book!
I agree, it does deserve compassion...it's a young girl's naive attempt to own her sexuality and power, she has a right to own it, but this type of acting out doesn't accomplish it in a healthy, natural way. She needs a savvy teacher.
Deborah King is astute in describing the many dimensions contributing to Miley's "outrageous" behavior. Behind all the other reasons, lack of sleep is a powerful force that can undermine good judgment. Deborah's guest on her Hay House radio show today at 2pm PST will be renowned energy/vitality expert Jacob Teitelbaum, MD. He's author of the newly released Fatigue and Fibromyalgia Solution (go to www.vitality101.com). The "human energy crisis" prevalent today is real and takes its toll on celebs as well as regular people. We're all susceptible...Check out the show and make sure to get your zzzz's. Thank you, Deborah for bringing critical health and wellness information to the forefront.
Good advice for Miley - hope she reads the article and "gets the message". Seems like she's almost struggling to get Daddy's approval? Hope she can learn to take it easy and be herself.
Miley's performance was heart breaking - what's worse is if we as a society remain quiet. Thank you Deborah for offering real solutions to someone in great need.
I don't think she needs any advice.
Maybe this is who she is? She seems to be having fun.
She seems to be comfortable in her own skin.
She sure makes a hell of a whole lot more money than I do!!
Youth culture, nothing more. Its just what it is and nothing more, you don't get it and you are not supposed to either! It's a generation thing,(sub-culture if you like), you cannot understand and of which you are not expected to be a participant of.
I missed seeing this and heard all about the drama after the fact. I then proceeded to watch and honestly I was not sure what the big deal was? The whole performance didn't make any sense at all. I was not entertained nor was I offended. I think it is interesting that we think she needs advice. Yes she is a child star trying to make her mark and while I agree they do have problems doing that I am not sure that has anything to do with this performance. MTV is known for the shock value. It gets bigger every year with someone saying what can I do to top that plain and simple. I think the question I would like asked and answered is we have teens and young adults twerking and other behaviors everyday that are much worse then what she did in her performance but because our children are not on TV or famous we don't even bother to question it? I think peope would be shocked to see what their daughters and sons are doing in public display for shock factor. I am not a doctor but that is my two cents.
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Deborah King, New York Times best-selling health & wellness author, speaker, and attorney.
When and how should we open up to loved ones?