A college friend wanted to know: would she be happy if she decided to leave her job right now to focus on, as we say these days, “staying home”? Read More
I am educated as a lawyer and had my son when I was 36. I had the chance to stay home with my son when he was 5 months old, and that lasted until he was 3 1/2. When my son was an infant I was "downsized" from my corporate job, and my then-husband and I made the choice for me to be a SAHM for an indeterminate period.
It was somewhat hard to let go of the work world, but in about 4-5 months I had let it go completely and was in a mom's group and fully in my SAHM role. Those were such great years with my son, and we are close to this day. Staying home with my kid made me a much better person, too.
It was a little rough for my son when I had to go back to work (long story why) but I am now in a job that's much, much better than my prior job.
I can honestly say that I've had the best of both worlds, and I recommend staying home with your kids if you can swing it.
that women don't get to raise their children. No one else will take care of them the way the mom will, and they miss so much.
Some women have to work. I think if you don't have to, you/they should raise their children. They only get to be babies and children for such a short Time.
I have three boys who are 9, 6 and 5 months and I have been a FT SAHD for almost 7 years now. I was in a similar situation and left a good job to be with my kids. My own father was a bit of a workaholic and he passed away when I was 15. I barely knew him and I didn't want my kids to grow up like that. I do know that every day that I get to spend with my kids is a luxury and while I sometimes miss hanging out with grownups and doing work, I still get enough freelance to keep me busy and my kids get a parent who is always present and always available. Luckily for my wife, I have no issue whatsoever with our roles, they were chosen with open eyes and it's working for us.
And you are one of the reasons I didn't call the post "Should you be a Stay at Home Mother"! Good for you. Your boys are lucky to have two great parents.
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Zanthe Taylor, M.F.A., is a former dramaturg and English teacher who is currently raising two daughters in Brooklyn, NY.
Who says marriage is where desire goes to die?