It wasn't until yesterday that the pitfalls of the Oregon-friendly smacked me in the face. I was walking in the Bay Area upon the suggestion of a colleague to see the local crafts fair. Oregon has many fairs. They're pretty harmless. So I thought, why not? As I made it to the second block of street vendors, I believe that without my own awareness, I may have accidentally lapsed back into the Oregon-friendly. I smiled at a complete stranger who was a male somewhere in his late twenties to early thirties. And as I slowly sauntered about, he began making an attempt at small talk. Trying to use my best therapist open and casual approach, I responded little, and tried to seem friendly enough. I figured if he was an ax murderer, that they, like dogs, could probably smell fear. Thus, as I walked down the street and circled back at my starting point, I politely told the man it was nice to meet him and that I had to get back to work. I walked briskly back, realizing that the entire encounter probably lasted less than 10 minutes, as I'd made it back to work well before my lunch hour was over.

On my frantic trip back to work, it dawned on me. I'd just experienced a very bizarre version of a speed date. In 10 minutes, I obtained (with very little probing on my part) the man's city of residence, college he attended, college major, current class he was taking (artificial intelligence), best course he ever took (stand up comedy), and most recent fascinating travel excursion (Russia). He was an entrepreneur, believed people to be too tied to their cell phones, and originally mistook me for an undergrad, and tried to flip the error into a compliment about me looking young. All in all, it was an interesting, albeit awkward and uneasy, encounter.

In reflecting back on it, I wondered if it was another case of holiday-induced DMS-Desperate Man Syndrome. As we approach the holiday season, it is in fact a time when many look back of family and relationships. The relationships that are going well, may be on the rocks, or the ones that don't exist, but they wish did. During this time, it is also more likely that people are simply looking for love. After all, if Hallmark Channel and Lifetime Movie Network's films haven't drilled it in, life is simply incomplete without it. This being said, it is interesting that the protagonists of these films are often women. Some have MBAs from Harvard, others are single moms. All end up in the perfect heterosexist ideal of holiday love to rescue and lead them out of the misery they experienced beforehand. But what about men?

Isn't it also possible that they experience some of these same things? Having been on the receiving end of a wife hunter one too many times, I would argue that "desperate and clingy" isn't just for women. A recent Psychology Today segment ran of the rise of the cougars. Some argued that women preferred younger men because they were simply able to be their no-baggage selves. No long history of failed relationships and bitterness, or far-fetched antics to prove their worthiness as a mate. Rather, they were seen as just being more genuine and easy-going.

It appears that in the same way that many women have historically put an age on the cutoff for settling down, that men have similar, shall we say "timelines." They just aren't announced publicly. Further, due to reproductive age being more relevant for women, there has been no acknowledgment of an equivalent "biological clock" for men. That said, who is to say there couldn't be? Research is only now starting to show that men's reproductive years are also numbered. Maybe then it's time that the holiday film market adds a whole new story line to the mix. How about single male, unemployed due to the economy, meets Fortune 500 CEO female who happily balances her career, yoga classes, and volunteers at the local children's hospital on weekends? And maybe even set it in Oregon.