Let’s start by facing facts. Most of us are essentially clueless when it comes to establishing and maintaining a healthy relationship. I’ve decided to start with relationships first and cover the messy subjects of sex and other topics (infidelity, homosexuality) in the future. While in an ideal world sex and relationships would be one and the same, they are not always correlated despite how important both are (and sexless marriages and infidelity are quite common). You may recall that old joke, “What did Bill say to Hillary after he had sex? 'I’ll be home in 20 minutes.'”
I would say that 50 percent of married folks get divorced and 50 percent of those together are miserable, so the data on less committed relationships is probably even more dismal. To quote a dear friend of mine, “Why have a relationship? In five years you hate each other!” Essentially, we enter the relationship arena with no training, often with poor parental models and crappy advice from peers. What’s a guy to do?
Let’s begin with the basics of meeting someone:
When Willie Sutton was asked why he robbed banks, he replied, “'Cause that’s where the money is," so if you want a girl/woman, do some research on where they’re at! It’s probably best to take a hard look at yourself in the mirror, assess your assets and liabilities and find venues where women either will be there who share your interests (example: health club) or who will think you’re “da man." Don’t expect success downtown if you’re an uptown dude and vice versa. If you have no hobbies, get off your butt and get some. It helps if you learn to clean up well. Possibly a sister or well-groomed bud can teach you the ropes.