Meet, Catch, and Keep

A scientific look at the complexities of romantic relationships

Facebook Selfies and Romantic Relationships

Single and posting selfies? Beware: selfies can send a negative impression to potential romantic partners. Read More

People who can't see to take a photo alone

I refuse to deal with anyone who can't take a clear picture of themselves alone. There is something wrong with people who insist on attaching themselves to other people like a desperate barnacle on their Facebook profile picture. This barnacle behavior screams of low self-esteem and a need to advertised that one is coupled or has children. When one is attached to another person in a picture I have no idea with whom I am communicating.

If you want to be my friend or come to any of my groups, prepare to show up with a clear picture of yourself as an individual or you are going to be rejected. No obnoxious usies, please.

White people, what are you going to do next?

I hear you

Even if you can't take a good selfie (like your phone has no front facing camera) then you can get someone else to take one, without various 'barnacles' (I love that word) attached. The only good reason for a barnacle is if they are a celebrity - and by celebrity I mean nobody from a reality show.


Recently I was handed a business card for a new hair salon. The card had a selfie of the stylist. My immediate thought was how unprofessional. It also comes off as immature, but mainly that is because mostly only young people are obsessed with taking selfies.

Another take

I would like to see a picture of the stylist on her card - if her hair looks good maybe she did it.

Also, if I am looking for the stylist and how she works/interacts with customers - I can go into the salon and secretly watch her do hair on other customers (I know her face from the card!). If I like the results I might then hire her to do my hair.

I don't see how a picture is immature if the stylist produces outstanding results on hair.

I agree

If I am going to hire a stylist I do want to see the stylist's hair. A selfie is as good a picture as any. I certainly don't want to see a muddled picture of a stylist and her boyfriend or her child.

Or a stylist doing something

Or a stylist doing something unrelated to hair - like being on the ski slopes or drinking shots. In fact that could apply to all professionals thinking of putting selfies on their business cards. Show us how well you do your job - not how you spend your free time!

How can anyone prove a picture is a selfie?

A few years ago, before phones could take quality pictures, I needed some photos of myself for some Internet profile pictures. I asked a friend to help, and he took some truly terrible pictures of me. So I used a tripod and a camera, and spent an afternoon taking some really good pictures of myself that turned out really well. Since I took my own picture then those photographs would be considered selfies. Am I to be shamed for taking my own picture? This seems really silly.


Selfies mean photos that show the person's arm holding up the camera and is always super closeup with stupid facial expressions and poses you would not normally do if someone else was making a picture of you. Taking a photo of yourself by means of a tripod and timer is not a selfie.

Selfies are immature because it's only the younger generation who are constantly taking pictures of themselves. The ME generation who thinks they are all important celebrities and spend their entire day posting on social media about themselves. A professional business person would have the intelligence and money to have someone else make the pictures to put on a business card. I would never go to a 20-something hair stylist because they don't have the experience and these days the attention span to do a good job. I made the mistake of going to a several in the past and they always ruined my hair because they haven't had enough training and experience to know what they are doing. The business card went in trash. The selfie was just icing on cake that proved the lack of professionalism.

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Theresa DiDonato, Ph.D. is a social psychologist and assistant professor at Loyola University Maryland.


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