Media Spotlight

A psychological twist on the news.

Painfully Shy

While everybody feels a certain degree of shyness when meeting people for the first time, there are definite dangers associated with too much shyness. Not only does excessive shyness lead to greater loneliness and poorer quality relationships, it can also lead to problems with emotional well-being such as depression. Read More

Excellent read.

This article explains a lot about a person I know. After reading this, I am left to wonder how a person can help someone feel confident and trusting and break through the barriers of shyness. This person I speak of has indirectly stolen my heart, I want him to know how I feel but I know that he would just run away from me. I feel that i am trying to catch someone that is impossible to catch based on him being psychologically maladjusted.
I don't want to give up on this man. I really think he is wonderful, even if he doesn't see it himself.

Disrespectful kids

i remember as a kid from kindergarten to grade 4, I was living in a multicultural neighbourhood and going to a school with lots of different ethnicities -- I had lots of friends and recess was so much fun...I got invited to birthday parties...I had best friends.

Then my parents moved to an all white neighbourhood...and I went to a practically all white elementary school...I was the only one or one of two colour kids in my 5th and 6th grade and years after that it was the same. My social life totally changed (it was like culture shock)...the white kids only played with the white kids...I became painfully shy. And for the first time in the 5th or 6th grade a boy called me "chink" and bullied me at recess time. Other than that time, I wasn't picked on...most kids in that generation were well-mannered. I was really nerdy, but one white boy sent me a love note. I was good at everything in elementary school, the teachers liked me...that generation of kids respected smart kids even if they were quiet or shy. Today's generation of kids are unruly and disrespectful and dislike "nerdy" smart kids...bad parenting is all I can say. And change in social values.

And in the elementary school

And in the elementary school with kids from all walks of life, some of my best friends were actually white, not what one would assume (me being of colour) -- one best friend was Greek, her parents were also immigrants. Her name was Maria...we were tight. It is sad that my fondest and most blissful memories in life were before I changed schools in the fifth grade...before I was eleven years old.

Happy memories are like a blur, while the bad ones stick out like a sore thumb. When life throws you lemons, sometimes you have throw them back and say that you deserve better. Otherwise things don't change much.

discrimination as a viable cause for shyness


your research left out discrimination as a direct cause for shyness...why is that? Discrimination is part of the "survival of the fittest" theory -- so we must avoid any topic that implicates these privileged people? I was a happy, out-going kid, even popular I might add -- until I switched schools and experienced discrimination for the first time. You shouldn't avoid hard to talk about topics. I swear your psychological research and studies are often biased, favouring affluenza type people and shaming the disadvantaged. I'm very disappointed at your incomplete research studies -- try adding the DISCRIMINATION as a variable in future research studies.

I am no longer shy, but I

I am no longer shy, but I stand up for those who are discriminated and disadvantaged. Growing up in poverty without access to the latest goods and being of a different colour, persuasion or what not...shouldn't make you a target for bullying. PERIOD.

Stick up for the disadvantaged instead of shaming them or trying to change them. They will come around when they come around or feel SECURE in who and what they are already. Quit imposing expectations for everyone to look and sound the same -- even think the same! Most people are not clueless about their behaviors and in need pointing out. Instead, point out the rude behaviors of the oppressors! Quit picking on people who are already picked on...they are the least of people to take your "advice" however good intentions they are.

This blog talks about shy people as though they are 6 years old. Just because people come across shy, doesn't mean they are completely unaware of their actions or what is going on around them. Sometimes things are not within their control...thought about that???


This is the first time in maybe 20 years I have even seen the word shy used. I was a shy young person, but these days everyone formerly shy is not labeled, whether accurate or not, as having Aspergers syndrome. Maybe shy will come back into vogue.

Very interesting blog

Very interesting blog, thanks for sharing.

Very interesting blog

I want to continue to understand.

Post new comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd>
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • You may quote other posts using [quote] tags.

More information about formatting options

Romeo Vitelli, Ph.D. is a psychologist in private practice in Toronto, Canada.


Subscribe to Media Spotlight

Current Issue

Dreams of Glory

Daydreaming: How the best ideas emerge from the ether.