Meaningful You

Voices of contemporary psychoanalysis

How To Unleash Your Kids’ Skills of Emotional Regulation

I'm not saying dogs are the key to understanding human behavior, but kids who are kept on leash have a hard time socializing with other kids. Here's why. Read More

good point

Our society has become increasingly obsessed with safety/security. One expression of this is parents controlling kids behavior.

The article wisely points out the possible consequences.

I wish that were true

It's not always the case that the children will naturally and automatically self-regulate. As the mom of two boys, I can tell you that one child was very good at self-regulating and would calm himself down, even as a toddler. The other one could not do it - just could not. I am most emphatically not a helicopter parent, but it took YEARS for the younger child to attain the self-regulation that the older child had as a 3 yr old. Enough tantrums where people and things get harmed (spat on, kicked, etc) will convince any parent to stay close at hand and intervene quickly. Yes, there is definitely the need for the child to learn, but don't judge the parent you see in the park intervening quickly. You have no idea what they might be up against.

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Kristi Pikiewicz is managing editor of the American Psychological Association's Division of Psychotherapy DIVISION/Review.


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