Me Before We

Learn to love yourself first

You Don’t Have to Feel Ashamed

Your therapy goal may be to stop a dysfunctional behavior or attitude. But the key is allowing yourself to accept that these behaviors initially came from a self-preserving place -- these behaviors helped before they hurt. Read More

loosening the grip of shame

Another home run, Suzie!

Thank you, Bob!

Thank you, Bob!

Well done, Suzanne. This is

Well done, Suzanne. This is my 3rd congratulatory comment to you. I hope it makes it into print. Dad

Thanks dad.

Thanks dad.

Very wise.

Very wise.

Thank you so much.

Thank you so much.

Thank you.

This coincides with what my therapist taught me! I have tears in my eyes reading this. Thank you so much for writing this article. It's not easy to forgive yourself. But it's not impossible either.

Sometimes I still feel ashamed of my bad habit of sleeping in and getting late for work (amongst other things, like freezing up when someone yelled at me etc.) . But ever since I learnt that it was how I would occasionally be able to escape my abusive mother ( she goes to work before me, so I'd sleep in for as long as I could so I didn't have to deal with her in the morning. The bed was my safe place.), it feels less embarrassing.

In August 2013, at the 'old age' of 25, I finally moved out of home. Through therapy and living on my own, I've realised I don't have to protect myself this way anymore. Being financially independent and physically staying away from an abusive environment has given me an opportunity to take control over my life. I'm not quite there yet, but I'm definitely getting there :)

Thank you again Suzanne.

Regards,
Lucky woman who got out :)

What an awesome and astute comment.

Thank you so much, i am really glad for you that you are taking the steps you need to take to feel safer in the world. All the best!!

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Suzanne Lachmann, Psy.D., is a clinical psychologist in NYC specializing in psychotherapy.

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