New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg is very happy with himself, as reported in
The Wall Street Journal's work/family blog
The Juggle:
At a news conference Thursday, a reporter quizzed the mayor on his reaction to the cover [of the New Yorker to the left]... "I've said this a thousand times -- I like what I see in the mirror.... I thought [the New Yorker cover] was great...I get up in the morning and I work as hard as I can. And my kids have turned out great," Mr. Bloomberg declared. "You know, I'm a lucky enough guy to have made a lot of money, and I'm giving it all away and making a big difference."
Emily Peck, the author of this Juggle blog entry, ponders:
So often, in the process of trying to be good workers and/or good parents and/or good spouses and/or good friends and/or good daughters and sons, we wind up feeling guilty that we are none of the above and our self-confidence takes a nose dive. How much of us feel assured enough in how hard we are working and in our accomplishments at home to feel the way Mr. Bloomberg does?
As it happens, I had a minor breakdown this morning, prompted chiefly (I think) from a crisis of confidence, a feeling of profound failure permeating every aspect of my life: father, lover, writer, editor, teacher, and so forth. A wonderful friend assured me, "you are not a failure," after which she happily listed all my accomplishments. I told her that my self-perception of failure was not based on my past accomplishments but rather on how well (or not) I am achieving my current goals. My sense of failure comes from unrealistic expectations I have in each and every one of those areas, particularly as a writer: so many ideas and so little time, especially considering my other goals and responsibilities.
Like everybody, I want to be the best [insert role here] that I can be. And I can—we can—but I have to realize that my personal best in each area will be considerably less than if I were able to dedicate all of my time and attention to one of them. So the choice is either to give up one or more roles completely, or moderate my expectations in each one. Since I cannot imagine not being a father, writer, teacher, etc., I will have to work harder at balancing them.
Each of us faces issues of balance, both extensive (balancing various roles and responsibilites) and intensive (balancing burdens within each role). Some roles we can shed easily; maybe you don't have to chair that parents' committee for your child's school, or take on a new responsibility at work. (For my part, I passed on a opportunity to edit an academic journal, a very difficult decision but one I look back on now as very sensible.) But other roles we cannot, and so we have to learn to balance our responsibilities within those roles, and amongst all our roles.
Personally, I find it encouraging that Mayor Bloomberg, despite carrying the burden of governing New York City and the constant scrutiny it involves, can feel confident that he's doing the best he can in all his various roles. And I doubt his billions of dollars in personal wealth help much with this, since he also seems to measure himself by current accomplishments—money won't buy you a reprieve from New Yorkers complaining about lax snow removal! So if he can look in that (heart-shaped) mirror at the end of the day and feel good about what he's done and who he is, I think there's a chance for each of us—including me.
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