May I Have Your Attention

The ADHD-impacted marriage

by Melissa Orlov

Relationship Basics 101

Flipping off your spouse or screaming and yelling are not what loving relationships are supposed to be about. These relationship basics remind couples where they need to focus to get back on track. Read More

What They Love About Their ADHD Spouses

Spouses tell what they love about their ADHD partners, highlighting some important positive ADHD traits. Remembering the good while highlighting the effectiveness of ADHD treatment can give struggling couples something to strive for. Read More

When Work Interferes with Love

It can be lonely when your partner is engulfed in work and has little time for you. These strategies can help you remain happy, healthy and (with a bit of effort from your partner) connected. Read More

ADHD Man's Dilemma: Is Something Wrong with My Wife?

Tired of feeling as if your partner isn't tuned in to your emotional needs? It may be easy to overcome this issue once you better understand an ADHD characteristic that could be impacting you both. Read More

6 Big Relationship Busters — Are You Doing Them?

Without realizing it partners can easily fall into behaviors that undermine the health of their relationship. Ask yourself: am I engaging in any of these six relationship busters? Read More

Pressing the ADHD 'Reset' Button

Some ways are better than others when it comes to improving focus and managing the everyday overwhelm of their ADHD. Here's one strategy - creating a "recalibration" routine. Read More

Everybody Has ADHD! No, They Don't

People who have ADHD are confronted by media articles or other people who think that ADHD is just an excuse - a case of having too much to do "just like everyone else," or being lazy in a busy world. Research shows those naysayers are dead wrong. Read More

Adult ADHD and the Sexless Marriage

Couples in ADHD-impacted relationships need not suffer in sexless marriages. Read More

Are People with ADHD Lazy?

Do you see your ADHD partner or your child's inability to finish what he started as a sign of laziness or selfishness? Read More

About Ritalin, Scare Tactics, and Medications for Kids with ADHD

Ritalin and other stimulant medications used to treat ADHD continue to be a political football, a hot-button issue in which parents are asked to be either "for" them or "against" them. In this interview ADHD expert, Dr. Edward Hallowell, provides important insight into the role stimulants should—and should not—play in treatment. Read More

Eight Tips for More Loving Conversation

With a little extra effort and time, busy and distracted couples can make striking improvements in how well they communicate with each other. Read More

10 Tips for a Better Relationship in 2012

Making a New Year's resolution to use these simple ideas can help you spruce up your relationship in 2012. Read More

Changing the Story of Your ADHD

"Story editing" is a technique which can help couples struggling with the impact of ADHD in their relationship more accurately describe their situation and create a roadmap for a happier future. Read More

Feeling Defensive? Seven Communication Tips for ADHD Marriages

Suggest a spouse has ADHD and he or she may get defensive. These seven tips can help. Read More

Why Therapists Need to Understand the Role of Adult ADHD in Marital Dysfunction

ADHD impacts about 5-7% of adults, making it one of the most common mental health issues adults face. More importantly, research suggests 58% of relationships in which one or both partners has ADHD are clinically dysfunctional*, about double the rate for the non-ADHD population. This means that virtually every therapist who works with couples encounters ADHD issues in their practice. Read More

ADHD and Death by One Thousand Cuts

If you are a spouse with ADHD you may be disappointed or angry that your non-ADHD partner hasn't noticed all the improvements you've been making in your relationship and ADHD treatment. Here's what may be going on. Read More

The Best Way to Say I'm Sorry

Made a big mistake? Don't just explain why - at least not at first. Here's what makes a great apology. Read More

Sleep Your Way to a Better Relationship

We don't pay enough attention to the role that sleep plays in a healthy relationship. Read More

The Art of Losing Control

It's tempting to compensate for a spouse's distraction and disorganization by exerting control. Do so at your own peril. Read More

Using Little Routines to Create Stability

Routines may seem boring, but they provide stability and, if used properly, much-needed attention for couples impacted by ADHD. Read More

I Can't Believe I Just Said That!

Feeling as if your conversations are never going in the same direction? ADHD-impacted couples can start communicating more clearly by identifying these seven symptom-related conversational issues. Read More

Eleven Tips for Finding Good Diagnosis and Treatment of ADHD

Someone has suggested you might have ADHD, or you wonder about it yourself. What's your next step? Here are some tips that can help you sort through whether or not you should get a diagnosis and finding the right person to do it. Read More

ADHD and Marriage: Use "Living in the Now" to Your Advantage

Understanding that people with ADHD often have two time zones - "now" and "not now" - can improve your relationship. Read More

ADHD Isn’t Just for Kids – Adults Feel Big Impact in Marriage

Many adults with ADHD don’t know they have it, but ADHD symptoms take a toll on their marriage anyway. Read More

Melissa Orlov is the author of The ADHD Effect on Marriage which won the gold medal for best psychology book of 2010 from ForeWord Reviews.

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About May I Have Your Attention

Adult ADHD often goes undiagnosed, and can create significant stress in a marriage, commonly resulting in dysfunction and even divorce. Ms. Orlov helps couples identify how ADHD affects them, then create ways to interact and habits that are both ADHD-friendly and help each partner get their needs met. While she focuses primarily on adult relationships, she also writes about family interactions - particularly when adults are struggling to help a child with ADHD.