Maternal Ambivalence

Exploring Hidden and Uncomfortable Emotions Surrounding Motherhood

by Barbara Almond, M.D.

The Heartbreak of a Child's Death

The Sunday Times of October 16th carried an article by Emily Rapp-"Notes from a Dragon Mom"-about her young son, a toddler, who has Tay-Sachs disease. This is a nasty genetic condition for which there is no treatment and which inevitably leads to death, usually by the age of three. His parents know what he has and what will happen to him. Read More

Childhood in Scandinavia

This summer my husband and I took a trip to Scandinavia to see the beautiful scenery and to experience life in a social democracy, to the degree that a casual visitor can-and incidentally, to watch children and their parents. Read More

Too Much Self-Esteem: A Hidden Hardship

In the July/August edition of The Atlantic Magazine, Lori Gottlieb has published an important article -"How the Cult of Self-Esteem is Ruining Our Kids." She is drawing our attention to an important consequence of contemporary middle and upper class parenting-our failure to help our children understand and accept their limitations. Read More

When the Worst Happens-Birth Defects and Their Sequelae

In a previous blog, dealing with fears of pregnancy and childbirth, I talked about the fear of producing a monstrous infant, one with birth defects, essentially. In my book "The Monster Within: The Hidden Side of Motherhood" I devote a couple of chapters to the responses of both parents and children to these unfortunate, sometimes tragic, occurrences. Read More

Don't Shake That Baby

The cover of the New York Times Magazine for February 6, 2011 reads "Has a Flawed Diagnosis Put Innocent People In Prison?" The ensuing story, written by Emily Bazelon is subtitled "A Re-examination of Shaken-Baby Syndrome."The simultaneous finding of subdural hemorrhage, retinal hemorrhage and brain swelling in a baby, who was previously well, has been titled the "shaken baby" syndrome, and Read More

The Ambivalence of the Tiger Mother

Amy Chua's recently published book about her own maternal experiences, as a Chinese mother raising her two daughters in the US, has raised the back hairs of many American mothers. Chua views American child-rearing as soft and spineless, much too forgiving and supportive in comparison to the "Chinese way" which is tough and demanding. Read More

Twiblings! What next?

The cover of the New York Times Magazine for Sunday, January 2, 2011, carried a picture, from its lead story, of two chubby adorable children, one a boy and one a girl, created by four women and one man, but ultimately parented by one of the women and the man. These children are called twiblings, a new phenomenon in reproductive practice. Read More

The Good Enough Single Mother

Can a single mother be a good enough mother? And what do we mean by a "good enough mother?" Read More

Mommy Really Loves you A Lot

Mommy Really Loves You A Lot Read More

Is Abortion Infanticide?

I don't think so. I have never thought so, although I have been depicted as someone who does. Recently, I had the very good fortune to have my book, "The Monster Within: The Hidden Side of Motherhood," reviewed in the New York Times Sunday Book Section. The reviewer, Pamela Paul, gave me a measured and generally favorable review. Read More

The Fourth Impossible Profession

Sigmund Freud once referred to psychoanalysis as an "impossible" profession." He classified it as one of three impossible professions, the other two being pedagogy and governance "in which one can be sure beforehand of unsatisfying results." I would like to suggest that there is a fourth impossible profession in our time and that is motherhood. Read More

Beast of Burden

The New Yorker magazine keeps its thumb on the pulse of New York City middle and upper-class motherhood. A recent cover (Sept.13, 2010) depicts a school-age child trudging down a city street. She is carrying a large back-pack and leading a burro loaded with books, sports equipment, ballet shoes and a cello. Read More

Doomed from the Womb

On Sunday, October 3rd, the New York Times of October 3rd printed two articles on the same subject-the effect of the intrauterine environment on the health and growth of infants and children. Read More

Ambivalence in Pregnancy and Childbirth

Maternal ambivalence occurs during all phases of mothering. Today I want to focus on the beginning--ambivalence about having children in the first place. For many years, in my career as an analyst, I assumed that deep down all women wanted children. Read More

Maternal Ambivalence

This blog is about the dilemmas of modern parenting and the painful emotions that ensue from attempts to do it perfectly. As human culture has developed and changed over the milennia, so too has human parenting. But the passion to raise children "correctly" has reached an apex over the past 30 years or so that burdens contemporary parents to a disturbing degree. Read More