Sit down Mommy and Daddy. My sister Jenny and I have something important to tell you. We're getting a divorce.
We know you're shocked. We know it never occurred to you that your son and daughter might decide to split up. But we want you to know that we will always love both of you, and this has nothing to do with either of you. Please don't ever blame yourselves; this is between Jenny and me.
There are very important reasons this is happening and, for now, that is between us. It doesn't really concern you. All you need to know right now is that there is no way for us to live together anymore and be happy. We need to be apart in order to find our own happiness.
By doing that we believe we will be better children for you.
We know you will be sad about this for awhile, but we believe it's really better for everyone. It will get easier, we promise.
I'll be staying here in our family home, and Jenny has decided to move in with our grandmother--who is supporting our decision because she sees how unhappy we are. That means that you and Mommy will need to travel between my house and Jenny/Grandma's house. You guys can have your room here that you've always had when you are with me, and you can stay in Grandma's spare bedroom when you are visiting Jenny.
It might sound strange now, moving back and forth between my house and Jenny's house, but we know you'll get used to it. It's an adventure, too, having two homes. You'll always have a suitcase ready, and plenty of space at each home for all your things. You can even decorate each place differently. We'll have so much fun together because we'll have extra special time together, just the three of us here with me, and then the three of you, when you are with Jenny.
We know that you have a lot of questions. We know you are wondering about the future. We will always be your family. I will always be your son, and Jenny will always be your daughter. We will still be doing things with you, but separate from one another. We will schedule separate family vacations--and this will be wonderful for you, Mommy & Daddy, because you'll get to go to twice as many cool places as you would have if we'd stayed together! We know it might be hard for you to schedule so much more time for these extra trips, but we know it will be worth it for you because you'll see how much happier Jenny and I will be.
We'll still have lots of fun with family movie night, and family game night, and our special bedtime rituals...we'll still do all those things, but from now on you'll do those without Jenny on certain nights, and without me on other nights. Just think how nice it will be to get all that extra one-on-one time with each of us!!
We will do our best to be the greatest co-children we can be, and the most important thing for you to know, is that Jenny and I will always love you, no matter what. Just because we couldn't figure out how to love each other and live together, will never change our love for each of you. You are our parents, after all. That is an unbreakable bond.
As co-children we'll be sure we're all together for the important things. When I get married someday I'll invite Jenny because I know it will make you happy. When she gets married, I'll go to her wedding, too. We'll do the same for graduations. But we aren't going to sugar coat this: We have no intention of maintaining any relationship other than as two people who happen to be your son and daughter. When she has kids someday, I will not be their uncle, nor will she be my kids' aunty. I honestly don't want to have anything to do with Jenny anymore, except in terms of maintaining a healthy co-child relationship for your sake.
And even though I have very big problems with the way Jenny has behaved, I won't talk about these in front of you. We promise to try our best not to badmouth each other when you are around, because we know how much you love both of us, and how hurtful it would be for you to hear us criticizing each other.
Finally, we want to say this very firmly. We are never going to reconcile our differences. So please don't try to change our minds, or have any hope that we will decide to get back together as brother and sister.
It is over.
We know you will always keep the pictures of Jenny and me, and our family, sweetly tucked away to remember us all together. But that time is over, and from now on wishing for us to be together again will just make you unhappy.
We know this is a lot for you to accept. We know it will dramatically change your lives forever. But we truly believe it is for the best, and we will all be happier and better off in the long-run.
Do you have any questions for us Mommy & Daddy?
(In shock) Uh...what about the kitties? They always sleep with us every single night...
Jenny and I agreed they should stay here. It would be too stressful on them to move them back and forth between two homes just so you can have them to cuddle with every night. This needn't turn their lives upside down.
