Marriage and Parenting in Today's Culture

Keeping Your Balance in a Crazy World

Abby Sunderland Sails Around The World: Superkids And Their Parents

Even before the rescue of Abby Sunderland, the 16 year old round the world sailor, national criticism of her parents' judgment was becoming intense. Read More

ABBY SUNDERLAND

I feel if anyone decides to do any high risk activity such as Abby etc, they should have their own search and rescue services on standby for the likes of what just happened.

The parents allowed this young lady to pursue her dreams that is admirable,

BUT now say they cannot pay 'us the taxpayer' for the rescue of their daughter....

Why then did they allow her to make this journey, not being able to financially secure her safety.

AND the idea of her doing this again AND ALSO HER YOUNGER BROTHER....put something else in place we don't need to be paying for 'your kids dreams' take some responsibility for the safety of your children, if you can't afford to save them wait until you can.

We have other issues in Australia with homelessness, health issues etc that this money could be better spent on than babysitting your children.

Abby Sunderland

I agree with your comments 100%
People like the Sunderlands are parasites.

This author is speaking the

This author is speaking the truth. Why does this generation ignore certain truths. Also a sailor can sail well into their adult years. There are different paths to achieving success, be careful parents. Haste can make waste.

This author is speaking the

This author is speaking the truth. Why does this generation ignore certain truths. Also a sailor can sail well into their adult years. There are different paths to achieving success, be careful parents. Haste can make waste.

Plot-twist, anyone?

All very good points, although the plot-twist is that what everyone is now analysing is actually not what it "is". It's a scam. The issue here is actually parents profiteering of their kids, dangerously exploiting them and deliberately putting them in harm's way for fame.

The real story on Abby Sunderland...

http://www.aarondarc.com.au/poppsychology/2010/06/the-reality-tv-of-abby...

I agree with this. Parents

I agree with this. Parents dont let their kids take risks if they do not pay off. If she would of made it think of all the bragging rights these parents would have. Its sad that they chose being famous over their childs safty.

Here is another parental parodox. When children excel parents want to jump in and take credit. When children do poorly parents act like they had nothing to do with it.

Annoyed

What annoys me about this entire venture is that her parents and family have all claimed they cannnot repay the Australian taxpayer the $300, 000 her rescue cost but then launch a fundraising appeal to salvage 'Wild Eyes'. To me, that is complete self-indulgence and utterly selfish; others have to pay while this family cry poor but can continue to remain in the limelight. It's all about having their cake and eating it - and getting the publicity that goes with it. I, for one, hope this is the last we hear of Abby, her boat and her family!

16 year-old takes on the world

Talented? Yes. Gifted? Incredibly. Smart? Yah. Wise? Sorry folks,
GONG!

Just because a child can do something extraordinary doesn't mean he or she should be permitted to do it by parents.

The story has been so publicized internationally that this kid could have readily been kidnapped at sea, if the giant waves didn't get her.
She could have been put to work in a seedy bedroom in Bankok, there being such a thing as child slavery. Maybe she could sail the seas but could she fight off kidnappers? I don't think so.

After seeing the link above

After seeing the link above about her and her parents possibly trying to make a tv reality show outta this....well it just disgusts me. These people already have money and they are vile and disgusting for trying to get more in this manner. I cant say im really surprised though. I mean America just loves a winner(but we dont like to think about all the vile things some people do to get to where they are.)

Over protecting kids

Our society is over protecting kids.

I come from an over protective family and when I left home at 17 and it felt like such a relief. I'm almost 40 now and I have been independent since then. I have learned to be responsible along the way, I paid my way through school and I am doing great for myself.

Some of my friends, who never left or who left for school and went back after (boomerang generation), still live with mom and dad in their 30s… they just don't see how they would make ends meet on their salary. Or like my 45 years old cousin says: "How can I take theater classes 20 hours a week and work at the same time? If I lived on my own, I would have to work full time! Besides, I don't like working that much." It' s sad.

I am sure that this young woman learned a lot from her adventure and I applaud the initiative and the effort. I know old time sailors who have had to be rescued at sea, and they had their full frontal cortex developed.

When I look at my boomerang friends I think: "They waited until their brain fully developed, but since they didn't face many challenges their brain might not have developed with the learning experiences that they should have had to become independent adults."

I'm no brain expert, but I know that experience is what makes us grow, it's what makes us rich, it's what makes us entrepreneurs.

Let's stop pampering kids and teens… this generation has so many challenges to meet with cleaning up the mess of the previous one and reinventing ways to live on this planet in a respectful way, we have to let them experience life and make decisions while they still are passionate about life, their planet, the future.

pampering is sheltering your

pampering is sheltering your kids from normal risks, not sheltering your kids from high risks.

Mozart

Mozart. Oh hell, not just Mozart. How about this entire list?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_music_prodigies
Blaise Pascal.
Karl Benz.
Jean Piaget, who published his first paper at age 11.
Anna Paquin.
William Cullen Bryant.
Gene Mayer, #1 in the country in several older divisions while at age 10, who later rose to #4 in the world.
Willie Mosconi...

Dr. Doherty? It's not that simple. Most kids aren't geniuses at one thing or another...but some kids are.

Abby Sunderland

Yes, all prodigies. But there's a BIG difference between being able to compose music at 5 years old, and sailing through the south pacific during hurricane season. gifts should be nurtured, but Abby's parents seem so caught up in the fact that she COULD sail around the world that they didn't consider if she SHOULD.

Point Well Taken, But...

Your point is well-taken. Permitting 'round the world solo sailing at 16 or an assault on Everest at the same age seem like folly on the part of the parents.

However, it's worth going back and reading Dr. Doherty's remarks again. He wrote...

"Back in the ancient 1980s, before the age of the super child, when my son asked to add a second sport to his schedule, we said "Sure, if you want to drop the first one." We were not yet burdened by the cultural norm that every child is a bundle of undiscovered potential that parents are responsible to uncover and develop, no matter the cost."

There is a HUGE difference between adding a second sport to one's athletic endeavors and climbing Everest. Why in the world shouldn't an athletically gifted kid be encouraged to be as good as s/he can be at both basketball and Taekwondo, or both soccer and golf, or both tennis and bicycling?

As I look at kids I see so much more of a problem with a tendency toward anomie and inertia than with an abundance of drive for excellence in multiple disciplines. Would that this was our universal problem!

Your comments on superkids and their parents

Excellent post, Bill. I appreciate your clear, practical, wise perspective. Your message is an important one for parents who are still in the thick of childrearing to take to heart. Thank you.

I agree -- this is a terrific, wise and thoughtful post!

Many thanks for putting these thoughts out there so clearly and with such understanding.
Diane Barth, LCSW

Great Idea! Let's Ban...

All entertainment that includes kids under the age of 18. No more child actors, singers, writers, or depictions of kids of that age. Disney Channel? Feh! Glee? Feh!

All athletic competitions that can be televised or written about in the newspaper that includes kids under the age of 18.

The National Spelling Bee.

YouTube videos posted by anyone under the age of 18.

***

You see where this can lead. Say my daughter wants both to be in a youth orchestra and be a competitive ice skater, and has the personal drive to be the best she can be at both those things. Shall I not encourage her, while so many of her peers are laying around playing World of Warcraft?

Abby Sunderland

Abby Sunderland was not raised to be on reality TV, she was not raised to be put to work for the family as they sit around and profited from her. Her father is a working sailor, she has worked along his side for years, she was tested by him and other professional sailors that thought she was ready for the task. She was 2000 miles from land when she got in a storm and survived until the help arrived. She was raised to be strong and smart. She is well prepared and quite capable. Too many parents protect their children from life. My own great grandfather traveled from Tennessee to Texas when he was twelve. He was young but not immature, he had been prepared by a hard life. The trip was nothing compared. I have friends whose fathers traveled to Alaska on a motorcycle before it was a state and others whose fathers worked on ships at the age of 17. Perhaps an adolescent's brain does not fully mature because it is not asked to mature.

I have worked with kids all over the world and as much as I would love for them to have more childhood, their life does not allow them to, they are capable because they had no other choice. Abby's parents had a choice and they prepared her quite well to take on the challenges that she sought. Tell your lazy kid to get off the couch and at least take the trash out, if that does not interrupt their childhood too much.

Abby's so called experience

You've got NO facts. Abby was NOT prepared for this trip. The family has had multiple opportunities to list Abby's training and experience as Jessica Watson did. There is NO comparison between the two girls. Abby is a wanna-be and is a puppet to her father's aspirations for second-hand fame.
http://forums.sailinganarchy.com/index.php?showtopic=102689&st=1725&p=28...

Quote Abby Sunderland was not

Quote
Abby Sunderland was not raised to be on reality TV, she was not raised to be put to work for the family as they sit around and profited from her. Her father is a working sailor, she has worked along his side for years, she was tested by him and other professional sailors that thought she was ready for the task. She was 2000 miles from land when she got in a storm and survived until the help arrived. She was raised to be strong and smart. She is well prepared and quite capable.
----

Lets just set the record strait here. Larry her dad is not a professional sailor he lives in a suburb of LA and had a few years drifting around on a cruising sailboat with no set schedules or places to be. Abby regarding her sailing experience had very little especially in conditions in the 25+ knots and above range. And last of all one of the most respected sailors in the world who have crossed the southern ocean many times have openly stated there is a very VERY good reason they do not plan trips across the Southern Ocean during winter even with highly experienced crew and very fast boats. Abby was rescued 2000 miles from nowhere because she lacked the skill and know how to make the call her self - and her weather plotters ie Dad decided it was a go. All of this with nearly zero ramp up time on a light weight fairly demanding boat.

I don't care how you spin this story what they did was simply just a stunt for Media time nothing more nothing less. If Abby truly wanted to sail around the world she would have been out crewing for top racing boats up and down the CA coast building her skill sets and yes even sailing her boat solo in some less than ideal weather. This is what every single handed sailor participating in the TransPAC race just started this week has done. Abby did so little prep for her attempt the outcome was 100% predictable simply from a gear and fuel perspective.

Link to real and highly prepped sailors doing it the right way.
http://www.transpacrace.com/
And soon to be started in July the PAC Cuphttp://www.pacificcup.org/2010
All of these sailors have attended classes - done mandatory sea miles - had mandatory gear inspections by fellow sailors to ensure they are prepared and have the highest chance of making the trip without taxpayer covered rescue services. Abby would not have qualified for either of these events when she set off on her AROUND THE WORLD TRIP.

3fc1f2e1ae1334d14

3fc1f2e1ae1334d14

Michael Kors outlet

amplified incredibly. Michael Kors Bags Michael jordan Kors Bags is probably the amongst the most familiar builders with the modern world on top of the called plumber badge is literally incomparable around the world. Eileen Kors Accessories generate the extraordinary supply normally because of the fact very desired creature trying to get from your every day should probably after that no stands for Michael Kors Sale comprehend the differentiation in phrases of best quality. nowadays sewn will be giving up smoking superb facts. Your product is produced running exact identical forme along at the accurate Jordan Kors Accessories. How the hologram http://www.mkoutletmall.com/ greeting card not to mention successive lists are similar along with the real Emmanuel Kors Accessories. Actually massive distinction can frequently Michael Kors Outlet are the worth.

mnbvcxz3313

dlmgbi ray ban wayfarer geg7

DactWOGZ louboutin
jkuvKOPvo http://zapatoschristianlouboutin.webnode.es/
ipnpykrntw ray ban wayfarer
HGMxZkozl zrklts ray ban precios
DabLZRUVnbk

dlmgbi ray ban wayfarer geg7

DactWOGZ louboutin
jkuvKOPvo http://zapatoschristianlouboutin.webnode.es/
ipnpykrntw ray ban wayfarer
HGMxZkozl zrklts ray ban precios
DabLZRUVnbk

MBT Shoes Sale

Post new comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd>
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • You may quote other posts using [quote] tags.

More information about formatting options

Bill Doherty is a Professor of Family Social Science, a practicing marriage and family therapist, and Director of the Citizen Professional Center at the University of Minnesota.

more...

Subscribe to Marriage and Parenting in Today's Culture

Current Issue

Let It Go!

It can take a radical reboot to get past old hurts and injustices.