Love's Evolver

All things related to love, evolution, and psychology

by Maryanne Fisher, Ph.D.

Inducing Jealousy to Get Your Mate's Attention

Have you ever purposely tried to elicit a jealous reaction in someone you are dating? By trying to make them jealous, your actions may make your mate unhappy and may hurt their feelings. Maybe they'll even breakup with you. So why are you purposely hurting someone you love? Welcome to one of the most intriguing aspects of romantic relationships. Read More

Sex in the Springtime

Ahhhh, spring. A time for some of us to let our thoughts roam more freely towards love, romance, and sex. Read More

Turning Friends into Porn Stars

People have been looking at their ‘friends' on Facebook for years now, and men especially have been fantasizing about the people they know using this site. New software now explicitly helps us take those unsuspecting friends into pornographic directions. Read More

New Findings about Americans' Sexual Experiences

What percentage of Americans aged 15-44 have had oral sex? Sexual intercourse? Experience with same-sex partners? Does education affect sexual activity? Sure does - those with higher education are more likely to have experience with oral sex. Read More

Sexual Monogamy Does Not "Lead" to Happiness

It’s simply wrong to assume that sexual promiscuity causes unhappiness. This is certainly an interesting issue, but we must also remember that it’s a complex one. Read More

The dark side of friendship

For some unknown reason in our evolved psychology, we often like to watch ‘tall poppies' do poorly, even if that person is a "friend." If we feel someone doesn't deserve something, we might be very happy to see them fail. Read More

Yes, Women Do Compete for Men

Over the past decade or so, I've explored the various ways that women, and to a lesser extent men, compete against same-sex rivals for mates. Much of this competition is unconscious, and some of it can be disguised under the context of doing something else. Read More

Exercise for Better Sex

Leg cramps, problems catching your breath, overall fatigue, dehydration - all of these things can happen during sex. On top of these issues, you might suddenly in the midst of passion, think of all of your woobly bits - the parts of your body you dislike. Maybe, to make matters even worse, you realize the position you are in and your partner's perspective of your body. "Ugh!" you sigh. Read More

The Relationship Between Sex and Food

If you're thinking of a romantic gift for a lover, why buy just the usual box of chocolates? Instead you could make an "aphrodisiac basket!" Read More

Breakup Etiquette: What Not To Do

Most of us have been there: the end of the romantic relationship. There might have been a full disclosure about why the person was dumping you, or maybe they just drifted away without a word. Hopefully, though, no matter how the breakup went, the person didn't hire someone to dump you. Read More

How Much Do Romance Novels Reflect Women's Desires?

A while ago, I started studying Harlequin romance novels. Yes, those ones you see at the grocery store - with titles that are something like "The Italian Billionaire's Virgin Bride." Don't dismiss them so fast - just so you know, romance novels are extremely popular. Romance is the most sold fiction genre in the USA. When I found out how popular Harlequin novels in particular were, I thought it would be interesting to explore them in an effort to understand women better. Read More

Romance is Dead: Reflections on Today's Dating Scene

I have asked women about their perceptions of the dating market - what they have to do to acquire a good prospect in light of the fact that there are other women out there trying to win the same prize. A comment I hear routinely is that they greatly dislike the dating scene today. There are three main sources of concern - the quality of the mate, the energies they have to undertake to self promote, and the competition they face. What does this all mean? Well, basically, in today's dating scene, romance has been pushed to the side. Read More

Why It's Good to Feel Guilty

Why do we engage in guilty pleasures, then, since we know that guilt is a demon? It is an awful, horrible sensation that eats away at your mind, consuming you if you let it, and eventually leaves you emotionally drained. It must be because the pleasure part outweighs the guilt part. Read More

What Do You Want From Me?

I am infatuated by Adam Lambert – or more specifically, with his hit song, "What do you want from me?" It’s so incredibly raw and visceral; it’s a song I just really feel echoes deep inside. Many a time I’ve asked “What do you want from me” to various people in my life, although usually I’ve not said it aloud. I wonder what would happen if I went for a week actually asking people this question?

Finally, some true romance! Here was this person, a man I presume, who I came to think of as a modern-day Romeo, pining away for the woman he truly loved. Read More

You Must Kiss More Than The Lips

Think of Casablanca, where we see the romance, not the sex, between Ilsa and Rick (aka Ingrid Bergman and Humphrey Bogart). Their final kiss is pure romance, the kind that grabs you in your gut and squeezes. It isn’t a kiss that is meeting some sexual need – it’s so very much deeper, and I think you all know the kind of kiss I’m talking about. Read More

Regret is a Good Thing But I Wish I Had Never Met You

I recently joined a Facebook group called, “I wish I could go back to when I met you, and walk away.” I confess that I joined out of curiosity, knowing that there would likely be some interesting personal stories there. I also must admit that I joined because I do feel that way about particular people who I’ve known over the years – haven’t we all been there? Read More