Love Without Limits

Reports from the relationship frontier

Welcome to the Sisterhood of Crones

At the same time elder women's sexuality can be deeper, freer, more authentic and multi-dimensional than ever and her capacity for intimacy and love is generally much greater than in her youth. Read More

As a Crone I wholeheartedly

As a Crone I wholeheartedly agree with what Dr Anapol writes here and I believe that the perception of the Crone is changing. I am glad to be aging now not 30 or more years ago.

Thanks for Writing This

As a male, 70 years old, who is polyamorous with partners who are mostly within five years of my age, I feel that many men have a set of issues that are similar to the ones you express. I have lost several important lovers to death or illness, and men certainly loose both physical attractiveness and, as they retire, their attractiveness as competent professionals. I feel very fortunate that I have a long term life partner, otherloves, and poly friends who are addressing these issues as best we can. Thank you for bringing them up, and thank you for being candid that you don't have all the answers. That is certainly the first step in getting them.

Every year one of my partners and I do a session we call Geezer Poly at Poly Camp Northwest, large poly family gathering. Each year we explore some of these issues, and the attendees include younger and older people. It would be great if you could join us this year.

Crones and Identities

Great to hear positive feedback. If you like this blog and want to see more like it, please recommend it to your friends and share on your social networks.

Some say the word Crone is not appealing. Anyone have a better word?

The C word

My sweetie who I do the Geezer Poly session with also does a workshop on loving an older woman. She first called it "Loving a Crone" but took such flack that she changed it to "Loving a Seasoned Woman." I'm happy to stick with Crone, though. As I understand it, it has an honorable history even if people have maligned it.

By the way, we take a lot flack for using the word "geezer". Even worse was the year I wrote in the session description that it was for people 55 and older, and younger people could attend but they had to sit in the back and keep quiet. :-)

At an early Poly Camp there was a session on line families. One sweet young thing raised her hand as asked, "Does that mean that the twenty somethings have to have sex with the 60 somethings? Ewwwww!" I thought, "Does that mean the 60 somethings have to talk to the 20 somthings? Ewwwww!"

The word Crone is perfect!

What a great article, thank you for sharing it.

I vote for the title Crone! its perfect.

As I have attempted to negotiate the trial of life through girlhood, young woman/mother/wife, I have often keenly felt the lack of guidance and wisdom from older women, but oddly enough have begun to feel wisdom settle in. I often warn younger women that they may have to ask me to stop talking once the subject of life comes around.

Your article brought to mind the book Women Who Run with the Wolves,by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, that was the first book I read that felt like real, useful guidance from other women.

Thanks again and I would love to see more articles on this topic.

Great post! Yay older women

Great post! Yay older women aren't invisible after all! At least we see each other :)

I LOVE the word crone. And it's those wearing the label who should choose it. If we're self-validating then we don't need or want to grovel under any less of a word than the one we choose for ourselves.

I like hag too btw. I've had my fairy-tale-princess phase and my queen of the castle phase. I'm so ready for the next step!

Yes, it's almost crone time for me!

Deborah, thank you for laying out some of the issues our culture has about Elders. When I was younger, and still bleeding, I didn't understand Crone, and did not like the word. I associated it with wicked witches and stepmothers (both of which I now adore). Then as suddenly as I realized my menopause was completing, I began to grow into the title, and I hope the wisdom, of Crone. And I have every intention of being sexy and sexier till I shed this body!

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Deborah Taj Anapol, Ph.D., is the author of Polyamory in the 21st Century and other books.

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