Love Without Limits

Reports from the relationship frontier

by Deborah Anapol, Ph.D.

Love Is Not a Substance

Love is a force of nature. However much we may want to, we can not command, demand, or disappear love, any more than we can command the moon and the stars and the wind and the rain to come and go according to our whims. We may have some limited ability to change the weather, but we do so at the risk of upsetting an ecological balance we don't fully understand. Read More

Polyamory without Tears

Early on, I realized that in order to really understand what jealousy is, how it operates, and to what end, I would have to examine my own inner process. If you too want to understand jealousy, I invite you to do the same. The next time the opportunity arises, instead of pushing it away, welcome the chance to investigate the nature of jealousy. Read More

Why Open Marriages Sometimes Work

I am the first to admit that polyamorous relationships have their fair share of dysfunction, but there are also many healthy and happy open marriages. Read More

Beyond Polyamory

Polyamory can bring you face to face with exactly what you don't want to see. Whether or not this is a good thing depends upon your purpose in choosing it. Read More

Shameless: A Review of an Ordinary Woman's Sexual Memoir

How one woman satisfied her sexual desires without having a secret affair, getting divorced, or opening up her marriage. Read More

Polyamory and Sex Addiction

It's easy to justify sexual obsession by calling it polyamory. A handful of sex addicts can wreak havoc in a community, especially when people are still operating out of conditioning that forbids the sharing of "family secrets" out of misguided respect for confidentiality. Read More

Polyamory and Children

Most of the young adults I know who were raised in child-centered polyamorous families end up giving a higher priority to bonding and sustained intimacy than to freedom when forced to choose. Read More

The Upside of Polyamory

XXIs polyamory just another word for promiscuity, or does it have social, moral, and ecological value? Read More

The Downside of Polyamory

While polyamory sometimes has advantages over enforced monogamy, polyamory can present numerous problems of its own. In the interest of full disclosure to those who rightly suspect that polyamory can exact a price from those who practice it, I offer the following survey of potential difficulties. Read More

Sex, Polyamory, and the Wisdom of the Body

What is the biological and emotional truth about polyamory? Read More

Why Do People Choose Polyamory?

Just as there are many different forms a polyamorous relationship can take, there are many different reasons people choose polyamory. We’re not always conscious of the reasons we do things, and sometimes we even make up reasons which have little to do with our real motivations. I’m not saying that we intentionally lie to ourselves, or to others. Rather, we find ourselves doing something and then make up a story to explain it. So it's not surprising that people are sometimes in dark about why they're choosing polyamory. Read More

The New Monogamy

The new monogamy recognizes that commitment and fidelity may be more fluid than we once thought. The key to making it work is honesty in making implicit assumptions about what marriage means explicit and working out any differences together. Read More

Polyamory in India: Then and Now

The Ghotul is thought to be a very ancient institution where young people are taught everything from crafts to ethics to farming to the arts of love. In some villages, all the young people, both girls and boys, sleep together at the Ghotul beginning in early puberty, though they still visit with their parents daily. They are given total sexual freedom and are expected to explore intimacy with everyone in the group so that they can learn who they are from the many different reflections. Pairing up is forbidden until adulthood, at which time monogamy is the rule. Read More

Polyamory and Women's Orgasms

While many men fantasize about how wonderful it would be to have two women in bed, many become too excited or too confused to take full advantage of the opportunity in real life. Read More

Nonmarital Sex and the Generation Gap

My mother ended up choosing the guy who insisted on remaining friendly with his ex-wife instead of joining a triad, but I found the whole situation indicative of a rapidly changing relationship landscape. These shifts are not limited to the younger generation! Read More

What Is Polyamory Really All About?

The question is no so much whether to love more than one, but whether to have multiple partners sequentially or at the same time. Read More

Deborah Taj Anapol, Ph.D., is the author of Polyamory in the 21st Century and other books.

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About Love Without Limits

Dr. Deborah Anapol asks us to examine our conditioning and assumptions about the nature of Love and the right use of sexual energy. What is love? What is sex? How do they relate to spirit? How do they express through human bodies, hearts, and minds? What would mastery of love and sex mean for our intimate relationships? Deborah Anapol is the author of Love Without Limits, The Seven Natural Laws of Love, and Polyamory in the 21st Century.