Love Lessons

Everything you need to know about love and sex.

by Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D.

After You've Told It All...

In 2007, I made what many of my friends and colleagues considered a bold and foolhardy decision. Read More

Justice for Marriage Rights: It’s not for the majority to decide!

marriage as a right for all citizens in this country Read More

Hey, a really neat new tax write off: Prostitutes

"Mr. Brooks thought such services could motivate his employees and make them more productive". Read More

PRENUPTIAL Contracts: A Blight- or Just Bright?

Keep your eye on that divorce rate-that may predict how common prenups may become. Read More

Can you afford not to take a vacation?

Vacations are not a luxury. Our health, mental and physical, requires down time Read More

A Fierce and Passionate Mother's Day

Sometimes its important to write when your heart is still bounding and your emotions are raw. Read More

Ten Things You Thought Were Abnormal in Relationships...But Really Aren't

We are all obsessed with being "normal"-in fact, that's quite, er, "normal". When I say normal, I just mean you are doing something that won't make you sick, sadistic, or arrested. It doesn't have to be "average"- just within a range of human behavior that doesn't doom all living things-including yourself. So, it's "normal" for example, to lose your temper. Read More

What do you call it when you use Sex for Fame?

Let's talk about the western world's mental health. Here is the situation that has me going. Read More

Condoms and Conscience

If you are an academic, like I am, when you are faced with a piece of bizarre data (like how does a Presidential candidate allow himself to cheat on his wife in the middle of a campaign AND not even use a condom), you search for a theory to explain what has happened- as opposed to just writing this guy off as one stupid, self absorbed, jackass. Read More

Fidelity

There have been a number of articles on non-monogamy, and not just about Tiger Woods. He was the headline, but there were a number of page two stories-and if you picked up a celebrity magazine, you'd think there was no one on earth who had sex only with their spouse. Read More

Are American lovers all heart, but without much fire below the belt?

A French study found that 71% of French men and women ages 50 to 64 said they were currently in love. In response to this, AARP, spurred on I supposed by competitive instincts, questioned a representative sample of 2000 Americans to see if they were similarly besotted. Read More

Sex Talks: Timing is Everything

If you missed reading about the Harvard study published in Pediatrics this week, you missed a small, but important study. The study studied a group of 13 to 17 year olds and asked them about their sex lives, what they had done-and at what age they had done it. Then the researchers asked both the teenagers and their parents what kind of talks they had about sex together. Read More

Who's In Bed With Tiger Woods?

Answer: We all are. Now, I don't know about you- but I really don't want to be there. I think that there are too many people there already. This guy is a sports figure- not a minister, not a world leader and not a moral entrepreneur. He's not out there telling us how to live our lives. He is out there telling us how to take a better swing. He is a model of talent, determination, and civility. Read More

Levi Johnston in Playgirl

Ok, maybe I am getting too old- but doesn't it seem that Levi Johnston is a little too young to be posing nude for Playgirl? I am not against ladies having eye candy; women like to fantasize about six packs and cute little butts in much the same way men ogle breasts and cute little butts. But still, shouldn't there be an age limit? Read More

Ask Your Doctor!

A recent study indicated that 70% of 1,200 women surveyed had experienced some kind of sexual health issue. Read More

The Missing Woman

As I sat listening to David Letterman's masterful Public Relations coup during his initial explanation of his response to being blackmailed, I was impressed-but also quite shocked about the woman who was not mentioned in his initial delivery. That woman was, of course, his wife. She was really nonexistent in his revelatory conversation with his audience. Read More

The Limits of Power

It was a disappointing week for the powerful. We expect them to get whatever they want; they are the Captains of Industry, the Movie Moguls, our most prestigious elected officials, people at the top of their game. But they don't always triumph. Read More

Keeping the Curtains Down

The latest revelations about John Edward's sex and romantic life are not only sordid; they are sad. His ex staffer, adviser and friend, afraid of missing his chance at kiss and tell journalism, has written a book proposal that labels Edwards as the father of his lover's child and even indicates that Edwards had promised to marry this woman once his wife died. Read More

Did Madoff’s Penis Punish the Public?

Madoff's mistress has a new book out detailing her affair with everyone's most hated financial advisor. In her text she notes that he has a small penis, and while that didn't seem to inhibit their sexual pleasure, she mentions it partially, I assume, in revenge for his treatment (emotional and financial) of her, and partly because she thinks it may somewhat explain his personality. Read More

How Much is too Much? Further Reflections on the Mark Sanford Story

People‘s values about the meaning and obligations of marriage vary greatly. For a person who regards marriage as a religious commitment or sacrament, the fact that the marriage vows have been violated by their husband or wife may not release them from their own promises. Read More

Why Sarah Palin Facinates (and Horrifies) Me

Whenever I get a surge of anger just thinking about someone, I know that my reaction is not all about them. I know there must be something in me that this person threatens and exhumes, perhaps from childhood- or perhaps from right now. So when I think of Sarah Palin and immediately get that visceral reaction, I know it's not just because she's a Republican. Read More

Adultery: Everyone thinks its wrong, but a whole lot of people still do it!

Ok, so a recent Gallup poll says that over 90 per cent of people disapprove of marital non-monogamy. That makes sense: none of us like the idea of someone we love flirting with someone else much less having sex with them. It hurts to even think about it. Read More

The Power of Sex

Senator John Enseign and Governor Mark Sanford have joined the ranks of sexually straying political husbands...a pretty crowded category. Both men have been caught with their pants down, even as they have pontificated about sexual morality to the rest of us. Read More

Fathers and Step Fathers

Dad's Day is upon us and an issue in the press bears heavily on the question of: What is a Dad? The famous case before us is the sad legal battle of the American Dad whose wife kidnapped their child on the pretext of visiting her parents and took him to Brazil. Read More

The Contradictions of Gay Marriage

The recent decision of the California Supreme Court has left me puzzled-and I am not alone. On the one hand, I understand how they could decide not to overturn a democratic vote on gay marriage. Read More

Lipsology

Well, call me old fashioned. But some of the new psychiatric techniques just leave me cold. If I can't find a link between A causing B (for example between head bumps and a tendency to not return phone calls), I just don't accept head bump analysis. Read More

Marriage, Civil Unions, Domestic Partnership- Cohabitation-The New Smorgasbord Intimacy

The big flare up at the Miss USA contest over gay marriage has got me thinking again about social change and intimacy. Miss California ticked off Pageant judge Perez, a gay man, by answering a question on gay marriage in a way that was certain to antagonize him. It did, big time. He probably gave her a big zero for a score, and she went right into Miss Runner Up. What did she say? Read More

Travel & Romance

Traveling alone and traveling with friends admittedly has its virtues. But there is nothing like traveling with someone you love to fully appreciate some of the romantic aspects that travel has to offer. Read More

Small Acts of Etiquette

Etiquette is an interesting cultural variation. I gave a workshop last weekend in Bermuda and between sessions I walked around Hamilton, took a bus here and there and spent time in the dockyard area. Everywhere I went people said hello, smiled and were helpful when I did something ignorant (like not press a button on a light that would have gotten me across a street more quickly). Read More

It's a Wonderful Life

I can't help but compare my different seasonal outings. Some are big parties that generally make me feel oppressed. First, I'm small and feel like I am going to be crushed. Second, they are so loud that you can't hear much of anything and so, ultimately, boring. Read More