The recent decision of the California Supreme Court has left me puzzled-and I am not alone. On the one hand, I understand how they could decide not to overturn a democratic vote on gay marriage. I disagree with their reasoning- to me, it's a constitutional issue and just in the same way we cannot lawfully vote to deny minorities the right to a job or to vote or to marry, I think we cannot lawfully ban gay people from such a personal and socially advantageous legal status. Still, I get why they decided otherwise- they just don't read the constitution the way I do.

On the other hand, they left 18,000 gay marriages intact. Now while I think that's great for those 18,000 people, you might see why I find that an awkward situation. It suits me to think that once married people cannot be stripped of that status by the state, but on the other hand, don't you think it's odd that some gay people who got in the door will get all the legal rights of marriage the state can provide, and others who missed getting inside because the door was slammed shut, will be perpetually disenfranchised?

I can see the division, the anointed couples and the ones who look just like them except they didn't fall in love at the right time or drive soon enough to the courthouse. I can imagine how awful this model would prove if it were applied to other controversial rights such as adoption where gay people (or single people or older parents) were given full adoptive rights ( as they have been in certain states and agencies) and then a referendum happened to deny those people the right to adopt in the future. It certainly would be hard to explain to their children, and I would also be worried about the psychic wounds to the individuals involved. Next to the right to live, the right to love- as parents and partners is as key and as important a human right as I can imagine. How can we not give it? How can we give it and take it away? How can we have groups of people who are virtually identical, but one group has a precious right (the right to marry) and the other group does not.

The only good thing I can think about this situation is that by having these 18,000 same sex couples certified as married, that it makes the anti gay marriage laws that much more untenable and ridiculous. These scatter-shot civil liberties- one state here, another there ratifying gay marriage-seems to be a rocky passage we must go through. Still, it's high time to get over our fear, act on the facts, and give the right of marriage to every adult couple willing to take on its responsibilities.