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Etiquette is an interesting cultural variation. I gave a workshop last weekend in Bermuda and between sessions I walked around Hamilton, took a bus here and there and spent time in the dockyard area. Everywhere I went people said hello, smiled and were helpful when I did something ignorant (like not press a button on a light that would have gotten me across a street more quickly).
In the United States strangers do not commonly smile at you as a matter of course. They do not commonly say Good Morning, or "Nice Day, isn't it". Unless you are in a small southern town (where I have also experienced general polite smiles and greeting) it is not uncommon for me to experience the following exchange-I give a nice smile in passing-- and get a scowl, or no greeting, in return. I can't imagine why there isn't at least a norm of reciprocity in place, that is, once I have smiled, doesn't that person feel bad about not smiling back? I do not in the least resemble a mugger; I am a small female, not particularly dangerous and not about to ask for money. Still, there is simply no response. Which means, of course, I smile less these days, but I feel bad about that.
I think a pleasant greeting or smile while passing a stranger is a part of civil society that has disappeared in too many parts of the globe. I know when life is tough; smiling is not the first thing that comes to mind. But I bet life isn't great for everyone I passed on the street or sat next to on the bus in Bermuda. There was just a different sense of community, and it was amazing what a difference it made to my general sense of well being and I imagine, to their own happiness as well.
Pepper Schwartz, PhD
