Love in Limbo

I think the problem with the word "feminist" is that it has become synonymous with "misandrist".

She's right, the men women fantasize about are not the ones they end up with, the majority end up with providers who as we will see relegate what she calls "warm sex" to what she calls "utilitarian sex", while the women keep fantasizing about the masculine dominant men, Ogas references to, who provide them with hot sex consistently and who most times women cheat or get divorced for.

"A feminist with cleavage in high heels who wants to be ravished in bed is not a contradiction!" True, that's actually hot sex, "...The dominant man / submissive woman scenario that Ogas focuses on is just one way to stoke the tension (and it doesn't matter whether a male or female is dominant, as long as opposites are paired)" True again, that's warm sex, but as we will see it will be relegated to utilitarian sex.

I think the mis-connection comes from her idea of what hot sex actually is, by her definition of hot sex, i.e. uniting against family, jealousy, fear of being caught, etc. are rare times hot sex happens for most people. But hot sex happens all the time, if the man is dominant, masculine, takes control, and is kind of like the men Ogas references to who most women fantasize about! Women cheat on their providers for this guy, they get divorces from their long time lovers who at first provided that passionate warm sex which later turned utilitarian.

To get to the point, I don't think you are dealing with the issue.
The studies you quote (footnotes 1, 2 and 3) deal with couples in some kind of committed relationship. It seems to me that what Ogi Ogas is talking about is the difficulty in even getting a relationship started.
I think it is great that women are taking a more assertive stance, whatever you may call it, but it has to be recognised that, in doing so, there is an impact on the cultural/traditional role of men, especially younger generations (my personal assertion). Some men can deal with it (10%?); most, in my view, can't.
Having said all of that, I think that your post has a lot of good things to say. Perhaps, instead of challenging Ogi Ogas in saying that he is misleading, it would be better to continue acknowledging his contribution, and position your response in a more harmonizing frame.

Nah... So I guess its a different feminism that tackles "sexual harassment" and "rape".

The feminism that has made young boys today scared ***less of asking a girl out... Well, that's "the other feminism".

All those high-profile feminists who say that the mere act of TALKING to a woman whom you are not 100000% certain is interested in being approached or asked out =equivalent to= rape... No, that's another feminism?

Ahhh, yes, the infamous "multiple feminisms" trick. Its used whenever you want to hide from the damage caused by your ideology. Its always "the other" feminists who did that. Not me, not MY feminism.

That boys today approach girls kissing with a quivering "mmmm, ahhhmm, mmmm, if its possible, I mean if you.... mmm, don't mind mmm, can I... mmm possibly kiss you? I mean, if it doesn't offend you"

That has nothing to do with the barrage of feminist produced courses and videos that shame male sexuality into oblivion? Absolutely nothing.

As someone else pointed, you're forgetting people need to get into that relationship first, before all that egalitarianism kicks in.

And I'm sorry, even the most egalitarian women are still submissive on the commencing of a relationship. They still wait for a men to take the lead.

We've taught all the boys that leading and being dominant is EVILLLL, yet, all the girls are still waiting around to be taken on a date.

So have you informed of this the "other" feminists who are passing laws to make this illegal? Do you know today feminism recognized 40 types of rape, and already 20 have been put into law?

Do you realize that BY feminism, the only rape that will be legal soon is the kind where you ask for consent every few seconds? "mmm, this isn't uncomfortable right", "You're sure you're fine right", "you don't mind when I put my hand like this"

Mind contacting the "other" feminists who are making ravishment illegal? You're either ignorant of mainstream feminism, feminist law or are lying to us on purpose. Which is it?

So have you informed of this the "other" feminists who are passing laws to make this illegal? Do you know today feminism recognized 40 types of rape, and already 20 have been put into law?

Do you realize that BY feminism, the only rape that will be legal soon is the kind where you ask for consent every few seconds? "mmm, this isn't uncomfortable right", "You're sure you're fine right", "you don't mind when I put my hand like this"

Mind contacting the "other" feminists who are making ravishment illegal? You're either ignorant of mainstream feminism, feminist law or are lying to us on purpose. Which is it?

I generally agree with Linda Young and want to add that misogyny is the biggest sexual turnoff. Olas' article was a huge libido letdown because it implied that sex=intercourse and everything else is "foreplay." Some of the hottest sex between women and men involves abolutely no intercourse.