"
"It was love at first sight. I looked into his eyes and he into mine and the rest is history. After a two month whirlwind courtship, we knew we were committed to each other. We had not only great chemistry, but we also had a deep connection; I felt he was my soul mate." Tina's eyes shone.
"It sounds wonderful." I said.
Looking down, Tina said. "It was. My heart and soul soared. That was ten years ago. Today, my heart is heavy and I feel depressed."
"Why's that?" I asked.
"I'm no longer in love with Tom." The light in her eyes had dimmed.
I responded. "That is sad. What happened?"
Tina explained. "It's our relationship that's become toxic. Our constant fights, our neglect of each other, our anger, and our disappointments that have eroded our love."
I felt her pain and wondered if she wanted to work at bringing love back. She did as she said, "I do and so does Tom. But we have big problems. He has a terrible temper and he blames me for everything, insults me, and tears me down. He's so controlling. Let me say that I'm no angel. I yell right back and then I withdraw for days. We have a few good days and then he explodes again. This goes on and on."
"Your interactions are repetitive and painful so that they have become lodged into your brain." I interpreted.
"If the brain is locked into these painful interactions, how can we possibly bring back the love and the passion we once had?" Tina asked.
"It may seem impossible, but it is not. There is hope. The brain is plastic which means that it can reshape itself. Although the toxic interactions have locked into the brain, I will show you the keys to unlock the brain. You will learn how to bring new positive interactions into the relationship so they will replace the old negative interactions. Actually, I will show you how to use your brains to bring the passion and love back." I held out the hand of hope.
Tina asked, "Is it really all about our brains?
I went on to tell her that the brain is the seat of love. But there's more to it. An exciting new neuroscientific discovery tells us that mirror neurons are the brain's beating pulse.
Here then is a brief explanation of the impact of mirror neurons on our love lives. Miniscule brain cells or neurons behind the eye sockets, mirror neurons connect two people in love. In an intimate relationship each person mirrors the other person's internal world of feelings, attraction, intentions, goals, memories, romance, lust, and loyalty. To ensure the passion of love, mirror neurons trigger the release of love-inducing brain chemicals; hence, there is chemistry that Tina spoke about.
Because intimate partners are linked by mirror neurons, when love goes awry, if one person creates change, the other person can't help but change in some way. Not only that, but the brain is plastic, so that it can reshape itself. That means when you know how to bring new loving interactions into the relationship, the old negative feelings will change as well.
But then of course, it takes insight into the problems along with expert guidance of exactly how to bring change into a blighted love.
And that's what you will learn when you read my new book, The New Science of Love: How Understanding Your Brain's Wiring Can Help Rekindle Your Relationship (Sourcebooks, Casablanca, 2011) that you can preorder on Amazon for only $10.00 In this primer on love, you will learn about the power of mirror neurons on your love life, how love comes, goes, and how you can bring it back.
Email: drpraver@cs.com
Web : www.drfranpraver.com
Social Network: www.facebook.com
Social Network: www.facebook.com/love.dr.fran
Professional Network: www.linkedin.com
