Love Bytes

I read this and I think that it's less about women being "poachers" and more about an inability in many men to resist temptation. And it really doesn't take much to tempt a man. I'm not an overly attractive woman, nor am I a "poacher", but it has been my experience over the decades that it takes not much more than a friendly smile to get a man talking to you, and if he's willing to talk he's willing to do more if it's on offer. And it's usually the married men that bite first and fastest.

How come women always seem to be targets of how a negative relationship status is? When a married/committed man strays away from the relationship, it was the duty of the woman to make him happy- and in the end it her fault. And now a woman “Poaches” him? I’m more than sure there is something more to this. Haven’t anyone thought that probably deception on the man’s part could have occurred? Well maybe not. Nowadays I have noticed that nobody cares about being honest in a relationship anymore; this “Women and Mate Poaching” idea, is very one sided at best.

On another note: This article states, “But if this man was already in a committed romantic relationship, 90% of the single women expressed a strong desire to pursue him.” Does this mean that they would actually do it? That’s debatable.

Did the first two commenters even read the post? It was a study given to females. Female responses increased by 30% when they knew the man was married. That's what the entire article is about. That stat right there. Not whether the man cheated. Not whether he was at fault too. Not about whether the man was able to resist temptation. That's another article. I don't think you got the point of the article at all.

I think Dolly Parton's song works here: http://bit.ly/oK9aaP

Perhaps the single women poaching is just a way of getting back at those smug married women who put single women down and think their own sh*t don't stink. If you're going to be thought of as a poacher, may as well do the crime if you're going to do the time!

According to Marie H. Browne, R.N., PH.D (You Can't Have Him - He's Mine) the most common female marital trespassers are women with a personality disorder— the narcissistic personality disorder, the borderline personality disorder and the anti-social personality disorder.

As stated in this article poachers are low in reliability, low in good-heartedness and low in relationship fidelity.

And men do poach as well.

The results of the study mentioned here ring true to me (as a women), because I think men who are attached tend to seem more likable in general. I find them easier to get to know, perhaps because I'm not wondering so much what their motivations are if they already have mates. That's as friend material, though, not the pool from which I choose potential mates. Poaching does seem... unsportswomanlike. :)

However, please, let's not frame this fact about human nature as a reason to look down on single women and blame them for failed relationships. I've also noticed that couples will /invite/ a third person to tag along with them, perhaps in order to distribute some of the tension in their relationship or to validate themselves in the face of their insecurities (put on a "happy couple" show in front of someone else). As a single person, I've been roped into uncomfortable third wheel situations more often that I care to count. But when I look for psychology articles on the topic, I tend to see snotty pop-psych blurbs about how the third person is the problem. Lady, if you're inviting your single female friend over so that she can watch you make out with your man and get ignored in the meantime, /you're/ the problem. On that note, it's no wonder someone with an unpleasant personality disorder might react to that kind of treatment with jealousy and revenge.