Love Bytes

Insights on Our Deepest Desire

John Buri is Professor of Psychology at the University of St. Thomas and the author of How To Love Your Wife. See full bio

Love Bytes

February 9, 2010

Love? Or Being In Love?

Lots of couples end up in the marriage therapist’s office every day. But hardly ever does someone end up there who actually understands what love is. In fact, I would go so far as to say that it is rare for anyone to ever end up in any therapist’s office who actually understands what love is.

February 2, 2010

Two MEs Becoming A WE

One of my sons recently reminded me of a story from his college years. He had gone to a roommate’s home for a family get together, and while he was there a couple young nephews (ages 7 and 6) started wrestling. In the course of events, one of the boys ended up hitting his brother in the groin. The one who got punched screamed out, “Awww! Right in the weeness!”

Obviously, this is not the type of WE-NESS we were talking about in last week’s Love Bytes blog.

January 26, 2010

Commitment Is Essential To Love, But What Is Commitment?

About 10 or 15 years ago, there appeared in the marriage and family literature a new term. The first time I saw it, it had a jolting effect on me. It was both confusing and enlightening, perplexing and illuminating, puzzling and clarifying.

January 20, 2010

Masquerades Of Love

A giant Mardi Gras. All the masks. All the imposters of love. And an imposter will never bring us life in the way and with the vitality that love is meant to. In fact, imposters deceive. And deception will never result in love. Read More

January 12, 2010

Love's Walking Wounded

I have seen lots of Love’s Walking Wounded (and I suspect many of you have as well).

Some of these walking wounded wander around the battlefield of love, dazed and confused, wondering what happened to their ideals --- to love and to be loved --- that led them into the fray in the first place.

January 5, 2010

Love New Years Style

Have you noticed the number of commercials on television for health clubs, smoking cessation programs, and weight loss promotions – you may have even seen the ad for the Taco Bell Drive-Thru Weight Loss alternative? (Yes, even Taco Bell has seized the opportunity to pitch itself as a weight-loss tool – creative marketing at its most creative!)

December 22, 2009

There's A Little Bit Of Tiger In Each Of Us

There's a little bit of Tiger in each of us. The trick is to understand this reality and to do what is necessary to counter it. Read More

December 15, 2009

What Could Be Deeper Than Discussing What I Care About?

When we stay at levels 1 and 2, we may be talking, but are we communicating? Read More

December 8, 2009

Communication: Going Deeper Than "Wassup"

“What we’ve got here is… failure to communicate.” Some of us may remember this classic line from the Paul Newman movie “Cool Hand Luke.” This statement --- which was so poignantly uttered by the prison boss man in the movie --- can also be uttered in reference to what so many want to insist is love. Read More

December 1, 2009

The Road To Intimacy

We are living in a world saturated with what commonly passes as communication, but one in which love is wanting for lack of it. Read More

Books by John R. Buri, Ph.D.

How to Love Your Wife

Relationships Basics

Love is the most profound emotion known to human beings. For most people, romantic relationships are the most meaningful element in their lives. But the ability to have a healthy, loving relationship is not innate. Almost all of us have experienced a failed relationship, and most of us have to work consciously to master the skills necessary to make them flourish.

Go to the Relationships Basics page for more on Relationships including:

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Heartbreak and Home Runs: The Power of First Experiences

How early life experiences shape our character.

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Books by John R. Buri, Ph.D.

Relationships Basics

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