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Relationships
If Orgasms and Love Elude You, Blame Commitment and Oxytocin
Hook-ups deprive young women of intimate pleasure and love.
Posted January 7, 2015
In a casual sex society, women may find themselves short-changed when it comes to satisfaction. Despite recent arguable research from the Italian Centre for Sexology -- claiming that neither the vaginal orgasm nor the G-spot exists -- researchers studying the hook-up generation have reported some interesting findings about orgasms involving both intercourse and oral sex. (1)
While we know that love-making stimulates oxytocin, the love hormone, researchers are finding that a committed partner appears to be key to women’s sexual pleasure.
Justin R. Garcia, PhD, and colleagues reported on research involving 600 college students with findings presented at the Annual Convention for Psychological Science in May 2014. He is Director of Education & Research Training at the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction at Indiana University.
If we look at a recent analysis of orgasms of women and men ages 21 – 65, restricted to “2,850 singles (1,497 men, 1,353 women) who had experienced sexual activity in the past 12 months,” the results were as follows:
Mean occurrence rate for experiencing orgasm during sexual activity with a familiar partner was 62.9% among single women and 85.1% among single men for which there was little variation in the mean rate based on sexual orientation.
“For women, however, mean occurrence rate of orgasm varied significantly by sexual orientation: heterosexual women 61.6%, lesbian women 74.7%, bisexual women 58.0%.” (2)
Earlier findings from a large-scale online survey of undergraduates at 21 US colleges and universities, along with 85 in-depth interviews conducted at two universities, Paula England, PhD, at New York University and colleagues noted:
“Regression analyses reveal that specific sexual practices, experience with a particular partner, and commitment all predict women’s orgasm and sexual enjoyment.” (3)
While commitment plays a role, there is still the oytocin factor that may well be the great deceiver. In her book, Meet Your Happy Chemicals, and followed by interviews with her, Loretta Graziano Breuning, PhD, says that oxytocin is a mingling of trust and physical touch, as well as love-making. Professor Emerita of International Management at California State University, East Bay, she explained:
“Trust is the authentic feeling you have in the presence of a person whom your body senses is safe. That is a good feeling that stimulates oxytocin. When trust is not authentic, your body might give you a message to be careful around a person.”
Oxytocin is stimulated is through love-making, but herein lies a bit of deception. “The whole idea that in both women and men you can have oxytocin released through orgasm creates a lot of trust, but only for a short period of time.“ And in women, there is a “feeling factor” that might be perceived as love.
She added: “You might have sex with someone and this oxytocin release might mistakenly make you feel that this person is perfect for you. But that may be the oxytocin. Just because you have those initial feelings, it does not necessarily mean that the person is trustworthy. You only have that perception at the moment and what happens next is the illusion you create about the person.” (4) *
Despite our casual sex society, in a study of 681 emerging adults, 63% of college-aged men and 83% of college-aged women preferred, at their current stage of life or development, a traditional romantic relationship as opposed to an uncommitted sexual relationship. (5)
Furthermore in a small study of Canadian male and female students, age 21, those who had sex with someone known for 24 or fewer hours, expressed regret, except for some who had an enjoyable experience. (6)
In essence, while there is variety in hook up sex, women may be missing out on the pleasure of intimacy that comes from knowing a person emotionally and intellectually as well as sensually. I like to think that gratitude might be the secret to lasting love and pleasure:Holiday Sex, Romance, and Gratitude Enhance Intimacy
References:
1) Vincenzo Puppo, Guilia Puppo [G-spot does not exist: G-spot amplification (i.e. G-spot Augmentation, G-Spotplasty) is a female genital mutilation type IV.] Annales de Chirurgie Plastique Esthétique 09/2014
2) Justin R. Garcia et al., “Variation in Orgasm Occurrence by Sexual Orientation in a Sample of U.S. Singles,” The Journal of Sexual Medicine, Volume 11, Issue 11, pages 2645–2652, November 2014
3). EA Armstrong, P England, ACK Fogarty, Accounting for women’s orgasm and sexual enjoyment in college hookups and relationships, American Sociological Review 77 (3), 435-462
4) Loretta Graziano Breuning, PhD, Meet Your Happy Chemicals, Dopamine, Endorphin, Oxytocin, 2012, System Integrity Press and at Loretta Graziano Breuning, Ph.D. in Your Neurochemical Self
(4 *)Oxytocin: The Love and Trust Hormone Can Be Deceptive
5. Garcia et al: Touch me in the morning: Intimately affiliative gestures in uncommitted and romantic relationships. Paper presented at the Annual Conference of the NorthEastern Evolutionary Psychology Society; NewPaltz,NY. 2010a. Mar
6. ML Fisher, K Worth, JR Garcia, & T Meredith. (2012). Feelings of regret following uncommitted sexual encounters in Canadian university students. Culture, Health & Sexuality, 14(1), 45-57.
Photo courtesy of Thomas Kaufman for Les Cardes de Belville
Copyright 2015 Rita Watson
